Email addresses, wives using their husbands’.

I have a friend who hasn’t changed a John and Mary email address although John died 3 years ago. I find that a bit maudlin. Surely creating a new email account with just Mary and gradually stopping using the other can’t be that difficult.

Having a joint email address (as well as our own individual ones) for certain things makes sense for us, as it means that either of us can deal with matters if the other isn't around for whatever reason. I'm talking about things like utilities, insurance, cars, our joint bank account and so on.

It's beyond me too why a "couple" email address might be used. I wouldn't even have bothered to discuss it with any husband/partner. I'd have mine and he'd have his and I don't understand why anyone would do otherwise. Goodness knows I've got quite enough emails of my own without getting someone else's through as well - just because I was married to them.

Though I've often thought "Bet I'd have had a struggle on my hands with some people" if I'd ever married - as there'd almost certainly be people trying to call me by my husbands surname instead of my own (ie trying to "assume" me into changing my surname to his). Way back along when I did have various "roles" in my own right (ie leading roles in several voluntary organisations) I'd have been most annoyed if people had misnamed me "Cariad his surname" - as I'd have felt "You have no idea who I am/what I do and you don't care" and I'd have felt like I had to spend first few minutes of any introduction to anyone saying "My own surname is....." in case they'd heard of me (ie as an official of this/an official of that/etc etc). It was nice and easy in activist type circles to just say my own name to someone I'd never met - and they probably already knew my name/what I was doing. Made life noticeably easier than a great long conversation talking about mutual interests until they clicked whether I was (or wasnt) on the same page as them.

We had Compuserve before AOL, and have always had separate addresses, as have our children from a young age. Theirs could only receive mail from people on a monitored (by us) list. The technology has been there since the 90s.

I hate sending emails that may legitimately be read by other parties, and it is massively frustrating when it only becomes apparent that '[email protected]' means 'Bill and Gladys Smith and all their children' after you've sent them. Emails are not Christmas cards.

This is probably why the NHS won't send messages via email, despite the fact that patients would get important information much faster and with less chance of going astray.

We share our email address and see no reason to change.

My husband and I have never shared email addresses and never will.

We share a couple of family/friends WhatsApp groups

I think when we first had AOL (1993/4 ish) you only got one email with your account.
By 1997/8 when we went to Eclipse Internet I think you may have been able to add others in.

Marydoll I think you shouldn't be sending them to a shared inbox.
I could be wrong. It would be very unfair if it was you who got into trouble though.

Emails have been used for around 30 years havent they. That's quite a long time to avoid 'new tech'.

In the 1990s we had a family email - just one for SEVEN of us. It was AOL and the "name" was everyone's initals. We had friends who also had a family email and their name was also the family initials (four of them) added to a surname. When we moved to "eclipse internet" from AOL in the late 90s we kept one email as it was easier but everyone still at home gradually added their own. I must add that the "lads" who ran eclipse internet in those days were terrific and if you had a problem you would speak to one of the five (or so) young men. They would re-route you to bump up speeds etc. They'd say things like, "oh it's very fast through Germany I'll send you that way."
Very happy days!

We have always had separate email addresses, ever since we had them - and that goes back to 1997. It would never have occurred to us to do otherwise. It is like having seperate bank accounts or not being addressed as 'Mrs John Smith' on envelopes - although thankfully that has long gone, but I had one friend who only stopped doing that quite recently.

I had a career in admin whereas my husband was in the building trade so I used emails decades before him! He piggybacked mine and reads my Facebook posts occasionally but has no interest or need to set things up for himself.

It annoys me. Someone on the committee of a group I belong to has a joint email address with his wife, and she reads , and passes comment on, all the emails he receives to do with group business. (she is not a member of the committee.) She is not a pleasant woman, does nothing to help the organisation in any way, but is overtly critical of the actions of those who do.
Her husband, a most pleasant man, is most certainly not lacking in computer skills; there is no point in making an issue out of it because matters discussed are generally trivial, and he would definitely leave than upset her, but it is highly irritating.

It annoys me too. I have to send various emails to parish groups. Some of the info is sensitive and for GDPR reasons, spouses should not be reading them.
Both DH and I have our own emails. I do not wish to receive emails about golf or horse racing and he doesn't want to receive details of the White Stuff sale!

That is odd, in this day and age.

It's common amongst less tech savvy people.
DH has a group list where the older members use email addresses in the name of their wife. The trouble comes because they all seem to have married someone with the same name.
They say that the address was set up yonks ago and they wouldn't have a clue how to change or add another address.
He just does as Silverbrooks does and list by the name of the member.

We have several addresses which all forward to one inbox.
I even have one to give to shops that goes straight in the SPAM folder.

My email account was hacked and what a palaver I had to change it, sadly it looks like I’ve now got 2 email accounts but thankfully I still use my original one and I’m now receiving all emails now (whew)

My brother's wife used his email address because she was too lazy to set her own up.
When my brother died , my gormless sister in law carried on using it.
It was so upsetting, as we kept thinking " Oh lovely an e mail from Mike". And then the horrible realisation that it wasn't from him but her!
I asked her to stop using it. Then my other brother, sat with her and set a new one up with her.
Thankfully it resolved the problem. But that is the sort of problem and upset it can cause.

I've got more than one email address and so does OH. Lots of my friends have email addresses that do not contain their name so it really wouldn't bother me.

It’s quite common and nothing to do with having no "identity", just how some couples choose to manage their tech and communications.

I am membership secretary of a club with about 200 members. There are plenty of members whose email addess doesn’t even contain their name(s). It’s up to me to organise my contacts by adding first and surname fields.

I am familiar with the email addresses of long-time members and soon become familar with the email addresses of new members. It’s not an issue.

That sounds sensible, ViceVersa.
My DH and I had too many diverse interests and contacts to want to share emails. When he died it took me months to go through his, to cancel various subscriptions, contact his old friends etc. Hardly any of these were relevant to me. I have enough job dealing with all my own contacts.

I didn’t sure my husband’s surname, I kept my family name. 40 happy married years
And - I wouldn’t have wanted to share his email address, my own is busy enough

My DH and I have the same initials throughout our names, and obviously the same surname.
The beauty is that I can use his credit cards when I mislay mine!
I use his email address occasionally too.

We both have our own email addresses, but we also have a joint one, which we use for various things like bills, orders and so on. That system suits us - maybe others have similar emails too?

My husband uses mine . I’m more techie than him.