Why is 21st C life so stressful

Granmarderby10

I think here is an arrogance in the assumption that everyone is doing this that and the other online and one must be living under a rock if your shopping,banking and household bills aren’t managed through apps.
These are all well and good if you fully understand how they work, and you feel confident and secure.
There is an awful lot of nerdy waffle in the instructions to follow sometimes which makes it worse when it is something that “must” be done.
It is stressful because too often after multiple attempts at logging into or registering an account for something important one has to give up and the original need or task remains undone.

Agree!!

I moved to a more "old-fashioned" part of the country 12 years ago - and I can certainly see the advantages of that now (ie being in what is often called "The land that time forgot" - as this area is sometimes described). I do wish I had the amount of facilities and the reliability level I'm used to having - but these days I can see the plus side of:

- I've only come across one place here that refuses cash.
- Tickets to social events are sold in the "modern/techno" way . However, I can still just turn up and pay for my ticket on the door in the usual way.
- At least there's one building society here that's walking distance away from my home and, by their own admission, they're very "old-fashioned" and so they still operate only with cash and cheques. Nice and handy to just go in, sit down, have an assistant who has got to know you by now and then hand over/take out cash and cheques and have a physical passbook that the transactions are recorded in.

I know some branches of Tesco are now planning to refuse cash - but I doubt the one here would dare to (as this is such a "cash" area).

I think some carparking machines have been changed to function by app only now - but that and the hotel that refuses cash are the only places I can think of here that can't be operated the traditional way.

Fingers crossed that, if anywhere in the country manages to hang onto our normal (copper) phonelines for our landline phones it would be here....

Madmeg. I have a similar professional background, 50 years working in accounting and IT, so my approach to many things is through logic.

I can only speak of my own personal experience in the 20th and 21st centuries.

I have been banking online for about 25 years across a variety of platforms for both domestic and business banking and have rarely encountered any problems. I have money spread across several banks and building societies and find all of the online systems and apps easy to use.

I’ve had an iPhone since they were introduced in 2007 (when I was 52, I’m now 69) and a smart TV since 2020. I find both very easy to use. There was a little bit of admin involved in the set up of the TV, setting up accounts for each app so they can synch across three devices, my TV, laptop and phone, but once done it’s done.

I’ve been a widow all that time so I am used to figuring things out for myself and did anyway when DH was alive. Generally, I’m not fazed by anything new and just take my time to understand how things work. It's part of the job of an analyst/designer/programmer to do so. I read instructions and FAQs and while that sounds obvious, I am aware that a lot of people don’t.

I don’t understand what you mean by not understanding On/Off. The universal symbol for this is a circle broken at the top with a vertical line through it (or sometimes a solid circle with an enclosed vertical line. It’s an amalgam of the binary 0 and 1 - two states - off or on - which your husband should certainly understand as binary logic and binary number systems are what underpins all IT systems.

I’m sitting here with three remote control devices, for the smart TV, for the Humax recorder and the sound bar and all have the same symbol.

Pie charts are a visual representation of fractions or percentages. Some will think a quarter, others will think 25%. I tend to use the terms interchangeably depending on the size of the slice. I’m more likely to say 10% than one-tenth.

Forgetting how to do something really isn’t the fault of the app or the app developer but like learning and doing anything, ease of use comes with confidence and practice.

I think here is an arrogance in the assumption that everyone is doing this that and the other online and one must be living under a rock if your shopping,banking and household bills aren’t managed through apps.
These are all well and good if you fully understand how they work, and you feel confident and secure.
There is an awful lot of nerdy waffle in the instructions to follow sometimes which makes it worse when it is something that “must” be done.
It is stressful because too often after multiple attempts at logging into or registering an account for something important one has to give up and the original need or task remains undone.

I went into a bank branch in the city recently to set up sending money to my DGS in NZ.
I had attempted it on line but it was confusing and the receiving bank wasn't recognised.
The bank assistant was a life saver.
She took a wee while but she sorted it.
It is her job after all, not mine.

*Silverbrook" I just don't agree. DH was a computer programmer, later a Uni lecturer in IT systems. I was an Accountant in a highly computerised industry. We were both experts as computer users.

You cite your bank as an example. I do loads of online banking, both for our family and the several organisations of which I am Treasurer. All is well till they change the system. Poor online explanations, and often the first non-standard thing I want to do is impossible without a long wait for an advisor, or those stupid pop-up "people" to ask who don't recognise what you are asking.

Last month we swapped our bank account for the first time in 40 years. The website was impossible to understand and necessitated several long calls - and even the "advisor" on the phone had to put us on hold to check her answers with someone else! I still don't know how to get online to check our transactions. It must be assumed that everyone knows how to do such things.

As for using our mobile phones (and even more so our SMART TV) many things are beyond us. For one thing I am not good with "visuals", e.g which button means what. The icon on the button often means nothing to me. Why can't it say "ON/OFF instead of some symbol that I don't understand.

Years ago I was in a class of would-be teachers where the majority of "pupils" were non-mathematical people. The tutor insisted that a pie-chart was much better to display proportions that would be a list of percentages, but even before he had opened his mouth to say this I (and a fellow accountant in the class) had converted the "slices" into percentages!

And despite being mobile phone users since they were invented we still struggle to use Apps. I'm sure lots of others agree that unless you use these regularly you forget how to do so.

If all is working well online all is well. If it goes wrong and specific advice is needed then it’s generally a nightmare. Two or three exceptions so far are Octopus, Hastings Insurance and Emirates.

Yesterday I was trying to book a ticket to NZ and the site just got stuck several times and I was spitting feathers! Found the telephone number, called and it was answered very quickly and then resolved.

It still was very stressful trying to do things online that don’t work.

I find this century extremely stressful.
Everything that I do seems to be complicated .
I was two and half hours on the phone trying to renew my house insurance.
I spoke to four people .
I got cut off
I listened to a lot of music .
It is still not resolved .

Then one of my deliveries didn't come.
More time on the phone .
The problem was dealt with in South Africa
There's mistakes on the invoice .
Recently,I've had to walk home with my shopping .
It took me over two hours .
No notification that the buses were cancelled .
If it's not the above it's trying to get an appointment at the GP 's surgery .
I also have had the most appalling rudeness at the local civic centre -it has taken six trips.
I actually burst into tears during two of them .

😀

Oui!

If you read the posts Allira you will notice that it's not comparing like with like.
We know that.
But still modern life, if you are a bit older, is like learning a foreign language!

Witzend

My mother is no longer here, so I can’t ask her how stressful she found living in London with a baby during the blitz, and wondering every time there was a knock on the door whether it’d be a telegram to say that my father (RN, N Atlantic convoys) would never be coming home.

My mother did chat to me sometimes about how things were for her during the war, with two young boys, trying to make do on rations and, like your mother, with a husband away in the RN without any communication, sometimes for months.
My MIL said she tried not to cry in front of a very young DH when she had a telegram to say her husband was 'Missing, Presumed Dead' but did hope for a long time that he might just walk in again.

That was stressful. Much of today's life are over-complicated irritations when, in fact, these advances were supposed to make life easier for us all.

Your whole life now is just one continual source of stress and anxiety … due to IT which, as you read Computer Science, you will understand more about than many or most. The kinds of systems we have now may have changed but the fundamental principles of design, with the end user in mind, remain the same.

I find IT portals and apps make life very much easier. For example:

I can log into pay and pension portals to access my monthly pay and pension slips and P60s at a glance. No more bits of paper to gather every year to make a tax return

I can log into my banking apps and see what’s in different accounts and what transactions have taken place. I can move money around and pay bills with a few key taps. I can easily access statements of interest for said tax return.

The last time I went into a physical bank was before the pandemic. It was to pick up a new card reader (necessary to authenticate new payees) only because I happened to be in town. I could just as easily have ordered one online.

The Government Gateway portal makes it easy to see pension data, tax codes and assessments and to submit tax returns online … and then I use the banking app to pay anything I owe.

Managing my energy bill is a breeze with the energy supplier’s app.

Two-step authentication where required for security is easy. The code arrives on my phone in seconds.

Of course, I don’t know what applications you are trying to use but your opening post reads as hysterical hyperbole. Are you really implying that people are off work sick with stress because of “difficult” IT portals and apps?

It systems don’t smile!

Well done Calendargirl enjoy your trip!
Our co-op here in Southern Scotland is just a property company now and a funeral director.

I applied to the Scottish government scheme to help with reducing my energy consumption. They were offering grants and interest free loans.
I eventually achieved a loan but what a time I had! It took me months.
Everything had to be done on-line. 27 page forms which had to be returned with photos, proof of purchase of lagging, boilers, energy performance certificate etc in the same post!
I made the mistake of printing off the form and posting it in the pillar box remember those? to the address at the top of their letter.

Weeks later, when my contractors were demanding payment, I asked
why no-one had replied. "We never
received it", said they, "There's
noone in the office to collect mail as
we all work from home

In desperation, I wrote to (e mailed)
my MP and remarkably the money was in my account that week.

My mother is no longer here, so I can’t ask her how stressful she found living in London with a baby during the blitz, and wondering every time there was a knock on the door whether it’d be a telegram to say that my father (RN, N Atlantic convoys) would never be coming home.

Computers by their very nature, lack the human touch! Before computers there were many things a normal person could not do - no searching on line for medical help for instance so after perhaps taking advice from family, ( face to face) we had to see the GP- or other suitable health professionals ( face to face) who probably sent us to the pharmacy or other professional - all face to face. If a prescription was needed the pharmacist would order it or provide it from stock. Yet another human interaction as the prescription is collected.
Last week as happens most months my disabled son needed a re prescription so I ordered it on line. The pharmacy text to say one of the tablets is out of stock, and he cannot order it in - it is in short supply. This is a regular occurrence., one or other of the required meds is often in short supply. So I go on line then telephone those not on line, to find out which pharmacy has the required stock. Eventually I find who has each of the required tablets and fill in the on line form to request the prescription be split and sent to different pharmacies via the electronic system. The only human contact I’ve had is the telephone calls with the pharmacies. In the past the local pharmacist would have ordered the regular medicines required for regular routine prescriptions. They would have searched around for hard to source tablets.
So life is now different with fewer human interactions with all the people who would have chatted or smiled or served or helped us in the past and more done on line.

OP, I share your pain. I have ordered milk in glass bottles from a milkman but find setting up an online account horrendous. The link for the portal is so long. Might go back to paying him in cash

I married in 1964. The Family Planning Clinic would not accept anyone unless we had a date for our marriage and the Bans were being read. Then, the only thing available was the dutch cap horrible thing!!!! It took me four years to conceive our first child, but the second one was born (full term) just eleven months later. No. 3 two years after that and then twins two and half years later. All wanted and actually planned as far as I was concerned, but at no time was anything mentioned to me about contraception.

This was in person at the Co Op, not online.

Grammaretto

We have booked a trip to see family in Oz. All done through CoOp Travel, they sorted out suitable dates to choose from, flights, connecting domestic flights, overnight hotel.

And we shall get a few dividend points.

They had contact points they could liaise with, so much less stressful than trying to do it ourselves.

I had my first child in 1967 and the pill was in the early stages I certainly didn’t know anything about Family planning clinics
Usedtobeblond maybe it depended where you lived I m sure the cities had much more information sooner than the small towns and villages

Too many people blaming others these days. Bad events happen to everyone, it is how we deal with them that counts.

Taking charge of events that happen is how to reduce stress, to actually take control instead of leaving it to others to fix our problems

Stress in the past was real, would the sons go to war, would there be anything to eat, would the house be blitzed? How far can I stretch a penny?

It just isn’t true that there was no alternative to getting pregnant before 1970.
I was married in 1958 and my first child was born in 1965 and my second in 1970.
Family planning clinics were open at that time.

Never being able to speak to a human being in person or on the phone when things go wrong or you don't understand is a modern stress.

One example: 20 years ago we booked a trip to NZ by walking into a travel agent in the High St - now long
gone.
Last year I booked a similar trip but
on my own. I scanned the internet to
try to work out the best route, gave
up and chose an online agent who
took hours and several calls to find a
travel plan.
I was not made aware of the new entry visa requirements until it was
almost too late so my stress levels were extremely high.

Things which ought to be easier aren't. I do not think YABU.

Ofcourse this doesn't begin to
compare with the hard lives of
others now or in the past but it's not
nearly as streamlined as it should be.

As for saving paper: Have you noticed the number of times you are advised to print out a hard copy?

Ask MOnica and her sidekick Barleyfields......

My mum always said that Britain was lovely, she was very patriotic, but there were too many people crammed into a small island. That was way back in the 1970s. She lived in London but was from Yorkshire. Even then the supermarkets were stressful because you had trouble getting near the counters, I couldn’t stand it.