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Mobiles and younger generation- why don’t they answer!

(75 Posts)
lippyqueen Fri 18-Apr-25 21:44:51

A bit of a rant really. Every time I phone my adult kids, they never answer even though I know that they have the phone with them! Not only that but they have Apple Watches which also ring when the phone goes. I have come to the conclusion that they don’t want to talk to me and just ignore the call for the time being. I usually get a call back later, by which time the moment is gone! Does this happen to others? It’s very frustrating!!

Deedaa Sat 19-Apr-25 22:35:29

As DD is 50 now I'm not sure she counts as the younger generation but we What's App all the time. If she rings in the evening it's often when I have left my phone to charge and by the time I have picked it up she has hung up. If I ring her in the evening I often get the message that she's not available. I pointed out that I might be lying with a broken leg or a severed artery and trying to get hold of her. She wasn't overly concerned. She knew her brother would always be coming home to sort me out.

RedRidingHood Sat 19-Apr-25 22:09:37

I think the etiquette now is never to call for a chat unless it's prearranged.

Mollygo Sat 19-Apr-25 17:49:14

I WhatsApp or text children and grandchildren, or even my family so as not to interrupt if they’re busy.
Funny that they expect me to answer pronto if they ring. I answer if I can, otherwise call back.

Casdon Sat 19-Apr-25 17:41:48

Freya5

Casdon

Don’t you do the same yourself? If somebody rings me when it’s not convenient because I’m doing something else, I don’t answer, I ring back when I have time.

Mobile phones eh, a blessing and a curse.
If someone phones me, I'm out or busy, it takes two seconds to reply with a message. They may have serious concerns, worrying about you if you were sounding down, urgent family news. Reassurance costs nothing does it.

The way I see it is that phones are the servant of the user, so no, I don’t message back immediately if I’m busy. I leave a voice message on my answer phone if I’m busy for a while, so they know what I’m doing, which is what I did when I was at work. People managed for thousands of years without mobile phones, so an hour or two now before I reply isn’t going to make a difference. The only exception is my children, who will ring me on both the house phone and the mobile more than once if there is something really urgent - I think it’s only happened once ever. We’re on a family Messenger group, so I talk to everybody via that a few times a day anyway - it’s much more convenient than interrupting each other by phone.

AuntieE Sat 19-Apr-25 15:01:18

When do you ring them?

I have never in the course of my marriage got out of bed when DH and I were enjoying ourselves there, just to answer the phone (or the door-bell for that matter.) And it is at least 40 years since I last sprinted out of the bath to take the phone.

I suggest you simply ask these younger relatives what time of day suits them best if you are to phone them.

I honestly do not know why you let this bother you, as they do phone you back. The inference is fairly obvious, that they were cooking, putting children to bed, or dealing with something else they could not leave off.

JackyB Sat 19-Apr-25 14:49:00

Elowen33

They probably just dont want to speak at that time. I text first to see if somebody is free for a call if it is just for a chat.

@#£

I would have thought this was obvious.

Norah Sat 19-Apr-25 14:40:40

Aldom

Norah

I think the younger generation may prefer email.

I much prefer email to disruptions.

I think the younger generation would not consider emailing. It went out with the ark.

Different families tolerate different communication.

Ours email, no phone unless emergency.

Aldom Sat 19-Apr-25 14:34:20

Norah

I think the younger generation may prefer email.

I much prefer email to disruptions.

I think the younger generation would not consider emailing. It went out with the ark.

Romola Sat 19-Apr-25 14:08:36

My GC do talk with me on WhatsApp, but bizarrely, it seems that they message their friends. DD tells me that her younger colleagues are reluctant to use a telephone for work purposes.

Judy54 Sat 19-Apr-25 13:59:32

For the younger generation it is the norm to text rather than to speak on the phone. I accept that this is the way of the world now. However I still like to talk in person to someone on the phone where we can chat and laugh. For me personally I find texting cold and impersonal but that is just me!

Norah Sat 19-Apr-25 13:59:25

I think the younger generation may prefer email.

I much prefer email to disruptions.

Coconutty Sat 19-Apr-25 10:35:29

I rarely answer calls. I just call back when it’s convenient. If I want to speak to them wink

LaCrepescule Sat 19-Apr-25 10:29:32

Young people hate talking on the phone (as do I.) Unless it’s something really important, I find it an intrusion. I’m forced to drop everything and answer and I hardly ever pick up. My daughter and her friends always message first and only have a conversation if it’s essential.
I can understand you like talking to your GC so perhaps you should schedule a regular call so you can catch up.

Chocolatelovinggran Sat 19-Apr-25 10:20:28

I'm the " guilty party" in this situation.
My beloved children tend to assume that if they're free, I'm free , which isn't always the case. Sometimes I can't communicate immediately.
Recently I turned my phone off after one of mine called repeatedly. On the train home, I texted back to say that I had been visiting a friend seriously ill in hospital...

Ziggy62 Sat 19-Apr-25 10:17:20

My 35 year old daughter told my elderly aunt during a visit last year she never answers calls. Neither does my 24 year old granddaughter.

They both WhatsApp regularly and if I need to speak to them urgently I message first so they answer.

At Christmas, birthdays etc they do video calls or Facetime or whatever it's called, which i hate because I don't like looking at myself on the screen.

Seems to be how it is now but heyho at least they keep in touch so I'm grateful for that

Aveline Sat 19-Apr-25 09:47:05

I don't feel I have the right to demand someone's attention so I often text first to ask if someone is up for a phone call.
It's unreasonable to expect anyone I decide to phone to be instantly available to take my call.

Lathyrus3 Sat 19-Apr-25 09:29:50

I think it is really rude when you are talking to someone and they break of or turn away to take a mobile call.

Why should the person you are talking to be put on hold rather than the person on the phone?

Mt61 Sat 19-Apr-25 09:20:51

Phone my mum around same time twice a day, mainly to check she’s still breathing. If she can’t answer she will send me a heart- we chat every day.. I can send my Newphew a text, he will eventually answer a month later as though it was five minutes ago 🙄

NotSpaghetti Sat 19-Apr-25 09:10:18

lippyqueen

Yes of course I can message. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a chat!

Could you message "are you free for a chat please"? Might work.
It does with four of my five adult children.
The other doesn’t even keep her phone with her most of the time.

Harris27 Sat 19-Apr-25 08:34:24

Three sons mostly the same son one normally goes to answer phone son two always at work son three the same. I usually text to be fair fir the same reason as you hate being ignored.

Aldom Sat 19-Apr-25 08:24:48

My family and I use WhatsApp to keep in regular touch.
The phone is only used for urgent important information or emergencies. We meet up fairly frequently for face to face chats.
Same with friends, unless face to face is not possible, then we arrange to phone at a pre arranged time.

Luckygirl3 Sat 19-Apr-25 08:18:57

Incidentally I hate posts that start with an implied criticism of a younger generation! smile

Luckygirl3 Sat 19-Apr-25 08:17:13

I use WhatsApp with my AC. I think it is easier for them with their busy lives.

GrannyIvy Sat 19-Apr-25 07:46:24

Exactly I agree Freya

Freya5 Sat 19-Apr-25 07:43:38

Casdon

Don’t you do the same yourself? If somebody rings me when it’s not convenient because I’m doing something else, I don’t answer, I ring back when I have time.

Mobile phones eh, a blessing and a curse.
If someone phones me, I'm out or busy, it takes two seconds to reply with a message. They may have serious concerns, worrying about you if you were sounding down, urgent family news. Reassurance costs nothing does it.