Back in the early 1960's my very young and new hubbie finally received a diagnosis of MS. Few symptoms, little or no treatment. It was the type that has continual slow progress. Those early years we just carried on as newly weds, problems with conceiving our first baby was automatically put down to his MS - although it eventually turned out I had blocked tubes.
Having a written report from one Consultant saying that this man is unlikely ever to father a child - we went on to have five (last two arriving together) in under six years.
Slowly affected his legs, but during those years he took - through evening classes his professional qualifications, and also (full-time in one year) a Masters Degree. Still found it difficult to get a job, particularly as large firms with Pension schemes would have him turned down by those pension scheme doctors.
It was his inability to provide as he wished to do for his family that drove the largest wedge into our marriage as it totally embittered him and he took that out on me.
Eventually, the pressures caused me to become seriously ill, which he could not cope with - just ignored. He eventually used his position as a volunteer worker on a local charity involved in providing housing to get a flat built suitable for him to rent, and when it was ready announced that he would be leaving me.
I was distraught about this, our children were now all in their teens, the older ones at Uni. His MS had by then caused much more serious disability - and no-one would believe that HE had left us. For years I was 'Persona non-grata' to his Mum and siblings. Indeed as time went on, he even managed to convince himself of this - several years later accusing me of breaking up our marriage. It was one of our children who had to remind him that he was the one who had left!!!
So do not just conclude that any break up of a partnership in which one has MS means it is the other one who has left.
When he was much younger he would always say that he would undoubtedly die young, not due to MS itself but one its side infection issues. On his 65th birthday he repeated this to me (we did remain friends for all our lives), and I pointed out that if he died that day, it would be sad but not a tragic young death. Despite the MS continuing its progression he actually died a few weeks before his 82nd birthday.
There is much more known about and support given to MS patients these days. Back when we had that first diagnosis, the doctors could not get rid of us quick enough, as they knew virtually nothing about the disease and how to treat it.
It can either be the slowly progressive type or else the type which can virtually disappear often for decades at the time. Whatever, with so much more support in every way, normal life can continue.
