I am conflicted and would appreciate advice.
My 35 year old daughter called me in tears. She is 36 weeks pregnant and moved im with her partner a few weeks go - they live an hr apart and were splitting their time between properties. My daughters property sold and so she has moved in FT with him.
She's told me in the past arguments they've had and when he's pushed her out of the way when she won't let him leave or when she grabs told of him to talk. I don't like hearing this but appreciate everyone has a snapping point when boundaries are pushed and space isn't given. I've told her this too.
She said last night they argued because she told him a work story and he disagreed with how she handled it (they don't work together). She said he raised his voice told her it wasn't up for fucking debate and walked away. She walked after him as she didn't like he implied that he was right and she was wrong end of. He then told her she was clearly incompetent and wacked the food trays off of the oven (no food on trays!). He then walked around not speaking to her. She tried making amends and he didn't want to do that, he wanted sleep. She couldn't understand why they were arguing he said that her arguments in debates are weak and make her look silly.
Fast forward to this afternoon, daughter calls me in tears to tell me this - bf followed her to garage as her car needs repair. They both go home in his car. On way, she asked if they csn stop by Starbucks. He agreed. When they parked up, shetalked about last nights argument, to sort it out. She said after 30mins he was saying he wanted to go home for his interview at 3pm. She continued talking to sort it. After getting her coffee. He got angry in the car saying she had ruined his day, he has little time to prepare now and she doesn't respect boundaries. He said next time she doesn't respect boundaries he will have to be tougher with her by locking himself in rooms etc.
When they got home, he didn't help her out of the car with her stuff (she's 37 weeks pregnant) and went in the house. She followed him and said he should of helped, he said she's capable. Then he goes into his office, she follows him and asks why he's shouting and swearing. He said he wants to be alone to work. She asked for a hug. He then asked her to leave him alone. She said no, she wanted to sort it. This is the bit I don't like, he then grabs her by the wrists, escorts her out the room and slams the door. She goes back in saying he had hurt her and to stop the argument. He then charges towards her shouting saying she is stupid and puts his hands over her.mouth and tells her to listen. He says he wants to work and leave me alone and he didn't want to hear her speak anymore. He turns away, she says she loves him and is sorry and he turns back around and grabs her face and tells her to shut up, he chargers back to his office and slams the door in her face as she followed him. During this, she has pretended that he has caught her fingers in the door and has cried her eyes out saying she needs hospital. He tried cancelling his work interview and appointments, said he was sorry he didn't know her hand was there and she's more.importsnt that work. She told him to work on and she didn't want to be around him. She is now sitting in the nursery wondering if they should break up. He comes up stairs and asks why the baby stuff he has purchased is in one pile, she said because she wants whats best. He asked if she was leaving, she said she didn't know and now he's back in his office working.
Sorry for the long story, some of this was phone call, some was text.
I don't like he got physical- is that abusive?
But her lying about him hurting her is wrong and I think a bit abusive too. She said she wants to make him feel bad.
Please help
