Last night I was shoving a aah! Bisto Classic Bangers & Mash in the microwave for 9 minutes, when it was done I opened the door and as I took it out a flying beastie actually tried landing on it! Thankfully I still had the plastic film over it, I'm not having it scoffing my bangers!
''Listen here, fly! I've worked mightily hard doing a grueling 16 hour work shift to get the cash to pay £2.50 for a pack of bangers, mash, peas and gravy and I'm not having you, that's contributed nothing at all to my household, mugging me for it so buzz off, freak!''
Then in bed last night there was a HUGE one, extremely loud, built like a Antonov An-225 Mriya plane physically buzzed my face and head 3 times in seconds! I screamed and was absolutely hysterical! I ran to the kitchen where I keep my tin of Raid and shot back to the bedroom but the demonic ratbag was gone! I would have LOVED to have Raided it to death ... and beyond!