Would you call 101

understood

We were always playing out in the 50s and 60s and knew not to play inside people’s drives, paths or gardens . We were taught that it was wrong so didn’t do it , and if a neighbour shouted at us for doing wrong our parents would back them up 💯 per cent .
Children these times aren’t told no often enough . I don’t think the neighbour should swear at them but the children should know right from wrong.

I had an incident a few years ago when I shouted at a child (no threats obviously) due to shock.

We live in a small cul-de-sac where children play football and balls do occasionally find their way into drives. Usually the children will knock on the door to ask for ball back - fine.

However, on one occasion a ball had gone right under my car and, unbeknown to me, a little lad had crawled under the car to get it. I came out, about to get in the car, and he popped up at the back of the car. I was so shocked that I did react sternly - along the lines of ‘that’s so dangerous, don’t ever do that again’.

I then went straight to speak to his mother, explained the situation and apologised for shouting at him. She totally understand and reiterated to him what I’d said - a very dangerous thing to do!

Some things haven’t changed eg balls landing in neighbouring gardens.
So sad now that most parents fear for their children’s safety even in numbers if they go to nearby parks out of earshot.

They have to be ferried to and fro now and often aren’t familiar with their area as they don’t necessarily attend schools within the catchment.
I am so grateful looking back now how much freedom I had.
“We” kids knew who the crotchety witch/grumpy git types were and I don’t think the bloke in this case was earnest about harming the child but it has become increasingly common for adults to use the eff word and worse whereas (in my day) it would have a “bugger off” and play in your own garden ..or I’ll tell your Mum.

Read a news article yesterday where a man threatened to break a teenager's legs for bullying his autistic son. The kid said FO and started to ride off on his bike. The man chased him, knocked him off his bike and strangled him. Neighbours pulled him off. He got a suspended sentence despite many other convictions for violence. People now are often taking the law into their own hands. Threats should be taken seriously. Kids think they can do what they like and adults won't touch them but it's not always the case.

Dontcallmelove

I wonder if the man really said he would break the child’s legs? The fact that the mother took to MN suggests she wanted everyone to be enraged that her / child’s entitlement had been called out. What better way to elicit this than to exaggerate what was said?

I agree, a social media post based on at least second hand information.
PS 101 as well as 111 are more efficient, in my experience, if logged online rather than phone.

I wonder if the man really said he would break the child’s legs? The fact that the mother took to MN suggests she wanted everyone to be enraged that her / child’s entitlement had been called out. What better way to elicit this than to exaggerate what was said?

If these children as so badly behaved they would hardly be shocked/ offended/ mentally scared by someone shouting and swearing at them.

To threaten to break her legs is totally beyond the pale and she was right to report him. He could have handled it differently and there’s no excuse for his behaviour.

That's the way it is now..kids are entitled to do what they want and where they want and the parents back them up! He should never have sworn or shotedat them but spoken to the parents.....

This is a safeguarding issue. No adult should be swearing at and making threats to a child. Quite right to call the police.

Threatening to break a child’s legs!!! I certainly would have informed the police

Where I live the police assuredly would want to speak to the man in question, as it is a crime to threaten anyone with serious bodily harm.

That said, Ziggy, neither adult is behaving well in the incident you refer to. The man has no business threatening do hurt a person, and most of us believe one should neither shout nor curse at children, or for that matter, adults.

The mother should have taught her child that playing in a safe street or on the pavement is one thing, but that she must not go into gardens without the owner's permission, and that damaging other peoples' belongings is wrong too.

Magenta8

Although I hate to admit it, I have a bit of sympathy with the man. I would never speak to a child like that as it is very wrong but I do get fed up the people who live in a house in the road from my flat..

I live off a cul de sac and there is a turning at the top of the road that leads to the car park in front of my block of flats. Often when I want to drive out of the car park into the road there are two very small children riding around in the middle of the road and neither of them seems to see the need to get out of my way. I have to get out of my car and ask them to move onto the pavement which I always do politely and quietly as they are both so tiny. One time their very irate dad stormed out of their house and yelled "Please don't talk to my children!" I replied that I needed to drive down the road and I was simply asking them to move. I also added that I didn't think the middle of the road was a good place for them to ride their bikes. He told me that children have a right to play in the street and called me a miserable old witch then they all went inside.

I should add that all the houses have reasonable sized gardens and there is a huge park with plenty of space for bike riding about two minutes away.

The man in clearly a negligent fool. I hope his children aren't injured at some stage, they really do need to learn some road sense. It is amazing how many parents simply can't be bothered to take their children to a park.

The man should have approached child's parent. I do though understand he probably had had enough. I live in a small community. There is a grassed area (actually a SUD area) in the middle that belongs to woodland company. Tge area has legal conditions on it that no ball games or cycling is permitted. The properties also have tge same conditions attached to the deeds. I can see why but some parents, mainly those who do not live immediately at the grassed area just ignore the restrictions and allow children to play mainly football there. One side of the grass has a property locatedbimmediately on tge edge. The main road into the estate is on the main edge and another road leading up to a cul-de-sac end is on the other main edge. Anyone with even a small amount of common sense eould see that the roads make it unsafe. The house on tge one side is constantly having balls kicked against their wall, fence and into their garden. Doirbell is constantky rung to get ball back, ir if not in (no cars in driveway or on holiday) kids just climb the fence to get the ball back. Was so bad that they had to get the Police involved. Advice given was not to return ball as no evidence tge ball belonged to whoever was at door, but to take to Police station and whoever wanted it would have to go there to collect. Also the same if they discovered any in garden after being out. They collected quite a few and took them to police. Adults xwere not too happy, tgeirvexcuse being tgere were no signs saying No Ball Games, tgat was because the two atrempts by the company to install sugns had failed as residents removed them. Irony is I live on edge if a woodkand park, plenty space for playing and ball games. Another two parks, one could be walked or cycled to, the other a bit further more suited to older kids but no, just too far for the little cherubs and of course helicopter parents would die at the thought of them playing in a woodland or park. Yes children should play but safely and with consideration for others.

If the man did say/act as reported by the child then he was in the wrong of course but the child should know not to trespass on other people's property. Personally I would have gone and spoken (calmly) to the man myself and asked him to let me know if the child went on his property again to please let me know and I'll deal with it because I didn't want him threatening my child again.

Sparklefizz

I have phoned 101, although not for children playing, but it rang out and no one answered so it didn't inspire confidence.

Agree. Surprised that she got any answer

Both are wrong mother for letting child play on the drive. It's a shared drive so really need other owners' permission and I can understand man not wanting his car and, more importantly, work van damaged. But the man woah totally in the wrong and unacceptable. He has actually committed assault and can be arrested for it.

What a waste of police time is all I could think. Rude kids, rude mother and rude man. I’d move to a better area.

Ziggy62
He was in the wrong if he said what the child (age?) said he did.
Mother was in the wrong for not teaching her child respect for others’ property.
An apology works wonders, e.g.
“I’m sorry my child was on your property. I’ll remind him/her about respecting other peoples property.
Could you please not swear at or threaten my child.
The response might be pleasant, or it might not. I recall the reaction of one man when I apologised in similar circumstances involving a lot of use of f but at least I had done my best.

Chidren should learn to respect other people's boundaries. Adults should not threaten children, they should also have been taught this when they were children.

Not doing this leads to conflict between neighbours. Neighbours form factions. Factions form militia. Militia fight wars. This is how wars start.

Don't phone the police. Calm the situation down by making sure the child respects the boundaries and ask the neighbour to be careful of his language in future.

presumably he will get a visit from the police
If they lived in La La land they probably would, but in the real world probably not.

Your neighbourhood sounds very civilised Redhead.

I was reminiscing about the time when we lived in a very small housing estate where the children played safely and adults were pleasant to eachother.

Where I live now is adjacent to a block of flats which are rented usually short term so there's a turnover of tenants and it's hardly worth trying to get to know them. There are a few children but I never see them play outside. I say hello if I meet anyone at their cars or bins, but we don't chat or gossip in a neighbourly way.
There are some cats and dogs who use my garden for recreation!

Don’t forget, it does say shared driveways

I would deal with the neighbour myself because I would not let a neighbour intimidate me and most certainly not a child.

Our road was until recently occupied by older people who have stayed put rather than move when their grown children have left. Our children’s school is five minute walk away. As an empty nester hearing the children at playtime or sports day gave me comfort. When lockdown began the quiet was so depressing and it was for our neighbours too.

Three families moved in the road after lockdown all with small children. They play football they have picnics on their front lawns and bring life back to our road. They are very polite and have been brought up to respect other people’s property etc.

I tend to give and take with neighbours and treat them as they treat me. Some people are set in their ways nothing will change them it’s not a matter for police. Actually we don’t have the assurance of police here our police station closed nearly twenty years ago. You have to choose diplomacy in such matters I have had to in the past it’s the only way.