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AIBU

Feeling forgotten about

(23 Posts)
Magenta8 Thu 03-Jul-25 10:36:55

The very last card I sent to my mother before she died never reached her. I rang her on her birthday and she was very angry and upset as she refused to believe that I had posted a card. It never did arrive and my mother remained cross with me for the rest of her life.

Some time after I read that quite a few cards had been opened by employees to see if they contained money and then discarded.

Bellanonna Thu 03-Jul-25 09:58:03

Fanbern, a lovely story.

woodenspoon Thu 03-Jul-25 09:36:08

I sent a card to a friend and it took two weeks to arrive. We both live in the south.

Caleo Thu 03-Jul-25 09:32:56

62Granny, please don't be upset and lonely. Your sister is obviously a friend to be trusted. As others have said, get in touch and find out if she is okay, and laugh about your birthday and all that.

Luckygirl3 Thu 03-Jul-25 09:29:08

Hope your sister's problems resolve soon.

I have a mental rule when someone causes me to feel upset in some way and that is to say to myself "It may not be about me."

keepingquiet Thu 03-Jul-25 08:54:55

Phone calls are so important aren't they? You can tell so much just by the tone in someone's voice...

Franbern Thu 03-Jul-25 08:46:33

Many years ago, my Dad (in his 80's) telephoned me one Sunday to say that his older sister was so angry with him as he had forgotten her birthday - yes he had - in the past had always relied on my Mum to do that sort of thing. She was no longer with us.
He was so upset that I said I would come to him to drive him down to his sisters (some 15 miles away). This is what we did taking with a large bouquet of flowers for her.
She was absolutely delighted to see us both, and her next door neighbour /friend was with her. She took me aside to say that my aunt needed intervention as she was getting very forgetful - even to the extent of having set fire to her flat a few months earlier when she had fallen asleep with a lighted cigarette. I promised to contact their local Adult Social Services on the Monday. Dad and his sister had a good couple of hours together.
Early on Monday morning I received a phone call from that friend telling me that my aunt had been found dead that morning in her bed.
I was always so pleased that I had put myself out to take my Dad over there to see her for that last time.

What I am saying is that do not get annoyed at lack of phone all and/or cards = find out if there is a reason.

CV2020 Tue 01-Jul-25 04:10:53

Same here. It was my birthday and for the first time in years my brother didn’t message or call me. He is terrible with dates to be honest! He’s taken himself of Facebook which I think maybe prompted messages in the past. My sister in law sent a message though. Hey ho, there’s worse things to get upset about.

Abcdefg Mon 30-Jun-25 19:21:05

First year every neither daughter, aged 40 and 43 email/texted/phoned me on Mothering Sunday. I was quite upset, stoll am

BlueBelle Mon 30-Jun-25 18:29:30

Ahh I m glad you rang she didn’t mean to miss you out she’s obviously not well snd it never came into her head
I m sorry she’s poorly but at least you know she didn’t intentionally leave you out

62Granny Mon 30-Jun-25 17:48:51

Well I phoned today, she hasn't been well and has seen a Dr. I didn't mention my Birthday and neither did she, I honestly think she has forgotten she is getting more that way forgetful recently. The conversation was based around the weather , the cooked chicken her DH has bought yesterday and how they had eaten it. Then she told me she hadn't been well and what the Dr, had said.🙄 ,

BlueBelle Sun 29-Jun-25 17:42:22

Let us know how it goes don’t be accusing, just see if she’s ok and maybe mention it in passing as to why you thought you better give her a ring to see if she’s alright
my guess is she forgot completely

sharon103 Sun 29-Jun-25 17:42:16

butterandjam

No card, and no usual weekend call.

Maybe she's ill?

That's what I was thinking.

62Granny Sun 29-Jun-25 17:15:19

I will call tomorrow.

Ilovedogs22 Sun 29-Jun-25 17:13:50

AmberGran

Get in touch and find out what is going on. Don't make an issue of it - everybody is allowed to forget things or get things wrong now and then.

Just say 'It was so unlike you I was worried something was wrong' and laugh about it. Assuming of course that nothing is wrong.

Very good advice AmberGran. 😊👍

NotSpaghetti Sun 29-Jun-25 16:44:18

I'd call "just for a chat" - I hope she's OK.
flowers

Oreo Sun 29-Jun-25 16:38:42

I used to remember every family and friends birthdays, then I had to put them all in a birthday book and look regularly and now there are times when I still forget😟
Two friends forgot my birthday last time but I never say anything as I know it’s just forgetting and I wouldn’t want them to feel bad about it.

AmberGran Sun 29-Jun-25 16:25:38

Get in touch and find out what is going on. Don't make an issue of it - everybody is allowed to forget things or get things wrong now and then.

Just say 'It was so unlike you I was worried something was wrong' and laugh about it. Assuming of course that nothing is wrong.

BlueBelle Sun 29-Jun-25 16:20:15

Could she be unwell if it’s out of character but yes the mail is dreadful but that doesn’t explain the lack of a phone call could she be getting forgetful ?
Check on her

Elowen33 Sun 29-Jun-25 15:48:29

The post is not reliable so maybe the card has not been delivered and was busy on the day so didn’t phone.Or maybe she simply forgot.

Phone her, it is not something to fall out over.

butterandjam Sun 29-Jun-25 14:54:20

No card, and no usual weekend call.

Maybe she's ill?

Feelingmyage55 Sun 29-Jun-25 14:53:34

I realise you feel sad but given this is unusual why not call and check up on her. Hopefully you will laugh if she has forgotten to post your card.
Happy birthday and have 🍰☕️ from me.

62Granny Sun 29-Jun-25 14:42:12

It was my birthday the other day, my sister, who normally sends cards for anything and everything, hasn't sent me a card or phoned me wish me a nice day? We haven't argued or fallen out, in fact she only mentioned a few weeks ago how we seldom disagree. I thought she might have phoned today as we usually speak over the weekend we don't live close and due to disability, don't visit often, but we keep in contact.