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AIBU

Parents stop mollycoddling your children!

(105 Posts)
Sago Mon 07-Jul-25 12:08:14

Our local FB page has daily requests for work for 16-19 year olds, these requests unfortunately are from the parents!

On principle I would not employ someone who relied on a parent to job seek.

My three always found jobs in the summer/weekends etc.
They knocked on doors/emailed/telephoned.

AIBU?

SiobhanSharpe Tue 08-Jul-25 14:42:41

At 16 DS got his first holiday holiday/part time job at Waitrose by going into the store and asking.
There was a short interview and he was asked what he would do if a customer told him her dinner party was ruined by poor ingredients from Waitrose. He said he would apologise to the customer and he would fetch someone higher up who could help her further with her problem.
He got the job and stayed with Waitrose (weekends and holidays) until he finished university. They are a very good employer, he even got payouts in the employee profit sharing scheme.

Babamaman Tue 08-Jul-25 14:12:29

Totally agree! My grandchildren have always worked as soon as they reached 14! They never ask their parents to buy stuff!
Nor me!
I’m so very proud - Dylan who is 16, finished his GCSE’s no school until September! He is working full & extra time at a restaurant. Doesn’t like the public so is in the kitchen doing whatever is required!
He’s paid for Reading festival himsel
He is saving for driving lessons a car and insurance!
He bought his own Vespa!

mabon2 Tue 08-Jul-25 13:56:10

Our three lads always had holiday jobs. We live in a World Heritage Site town, so plenty of restaurant, cafes etc. But these days it is very difficult for youngsters to get holiday jobs, o wonder the parents are enquiring.

Allsorts Tue 08-Jul-25 06:05:36

I helped both mine make the step into work. At sixteen many lack the confidence, it doesn't mean they are work shy. Both are very successful in their chosen careers. Have far exceeded my expectations, it took time. What I looked for was honesty, punctuality and a willingness to learn.

Whiff Tue 08-Jul-25 06:03:42

My children found there own part time jobs at 16. They did their own CVs and trawled the papers and stores to get a job. If a 16 year old can't find their own part time job . How are they going to manage when they want a full time job what until mommy and daddy do it for them 🤦.

Grammaretto Tue 08-Jul-25 05:27:14

Some people need a little help to get started. I agree that the parent who drove to school with the extra jumper is extreme but if our DC were late and we had time, we would drive them to work and help them to find work if they had asked us.

whywhywhy Tue 08-Jul-25 05:16:09

Mine found their own jobs and my grandchildren are doing the same.

Grammaretto Tue 08-Jul-25 05:07:43

I watched 15yr old DGD asking if they needed help at a busy Edinburgh restaurant, last week. We had been waiting too long to be served.
She was told to apply via their website.
I haven't heard if she did.

I remember writing letters to ask for work back in the 1960's. I had a Saturday job from age 15 and holiday jobs throughout Art college but I also did baby sitting. Those jobs were word of mouth.

My DC used the telephone to enquire about work. At one time all my 3 sons were working at a Frozen fish processing factory on the night shift.
They were paid badly and promised better wages after 6 weeks but if they stayed that long somehow they were no longer needed. A scam of the time.

I volunteer at a community store which is run by a mix of paid staff and volunteers, including many who have additional needs. One of our "successes" has just been accepted at catering college. She has grown in confidence - a joy to see.

Kate1949 Tue 08-Jul-25 00:19:32

Agreed. Why not? Life is tough.

Catterygirl Tue 08-Jul-25 00:06:15

Sounds a nightmare. I do sympathise. I worked as a cleaner for two American engineers in Kuwait when I was 14. Back in the UK I enrolled in college with peers three years older than myself and got Saturday jobs in the Scotch Wool shop in Southend, followed by a cushy number in Woolworths closer to home in the posh village of Hadleigh. I sold shampoo and earned about 75p a week. I have one son and encouraged him to deliver papers. He did it all by himself and went out rain or shine and sometimes snow. He made £100 tips at Christmas and hasn’t looked back. I just wanted to make sure that when I am gone, he will manage somehow. I understand things are different now and if parents can help, then why not?

Kate1949 Mon 07-Jul-25 23:50:36

I got my daughter her first job. My company (government department) were looking for temporary staff and she came as a casual. It started her on the road to employment. I also helped my nephew, who was lost having lost his mother and his 16 year old brother. Some folks need a helping hand.

JaneJudge Mon 07-Jul-25 23:22:55

You have to apply online now

My son can’t get a job because the buses end too early and he can’t afford a taxi on the wages promised. He can’t walk home in case he gets stabbed

We’ve applied twice for a provisional driving licence but they keep sending it back with a cheque. He doesn’t have a passport, which seems the excuse

NotSpaghetti Mon 07-Jul-25 23:11:12

Elowen33

Young people do not use Facebook so it makes sense that parents are asking via their accounts.

This was my immediate thought too.

imaround Mon 07-Jul-25 22:10:00

Pantglas2

Your comments are noted imaround.

I suspect though the OP was referring to casual jobs during holidays etc as that age group would be in further education before looking for career positions.

CVS/Resumes would be OTT for washing up, clearing tables, cleaning and simple act of asking if there was any casual work available at an establishment would show they wanted to work.

The teens I am talking about here in the US are looking for the same type of work. Part time during school holidays, seasonal work, and even part time year around work. We have 12 weeks off of school through our summer, so tons of teens are looking for summertime work.

How does the application process work in the UK? Do they typically just go into a business and enquire or are there applications to be filled out online?

I miss the old days when you could just walk into a business and say you want to enquire about a job and got to talk to a real person. It was so much better and more personal. Sadly, that will never be the case for today's teens as AI continues to roll out. It will get worse, IMO because a lot of those teen jobs will be automated.

The next generation is going to hit a crisis wall we have never seen, IMO.

Iam64 Mon 07-Jul-25 21:27:42

There really isn’t any comparison with our experiences, possibly sixty years ago and those for youngsters now.

I dislike these attempts to suggest they’re mollycoddled by soft parents. That isn’t my experience.n it’s also tedious to divide and rule. Are we really saying our children are mollycoddling our grandchildren? We are dooooomed I tell you, doomed

Hithere Mon 07-Jul-25 21:21:54

Spot on, iamaround

Deedaa Mon 07-Jul-25 21:18:00

My mother got me my first Saturday job in the restaurant she worked in, When I was at college I found my own holiday jobs, but my father got me an interview for my first job when I left.

My daughter got a job in the cafe I was working in - we all tended to get our children in if something needed doing. When she went away to university she organised her own jobs. I went with my son to his first job interview when he was 17. If I hadn't gone he would probably still be sitting at home now! After that he sorted his own jobs out.

Allira Mon 07-Jul-25 21:17:00

It is sometimes a case of not what you know but who you know.

Greenfinch Mon 07-Jul-25 21:15:35

Good post imaround. Not only do applications for part time temporary jobs have to be made online but have to be made through faceless agencies often lacking in empathy. My grandson applies endlessly but generally receives no response or else finds the vacancy has already been filled. Jobs are often handed out to relatives of employees so it is no wonder parents try to help out. I wouldn’t call it mollycoddling.

Allira Mon 07-Jul-25 21:03:36

Tenko

Primrose53

I have long thought kids are molly coddled.
A prime example recently was someone in my extended family whose teenage daughter rang her mid morning to ask if she could drop her a jumper in to school as she was cold. It was 22C! She was at our house which is 14 miles from the school but she lives 24 miles in the OTHER direction.

I told her not to and tell the girl next time make sure you have a jumper with you. She was daft enough to do it though! I could not believe it. 🥺

I knew several sahms who would regularly take PE kit, homework , cooking stuff etc to their DC schools , because their kids had forgotten stuff . I was a working mum and if mine had forgotten something, tough ! . And this was 20-25 years ago .

My DD regularly 'forgot' her cookery items for Home Economics. It was me that got told off on Parents' Evening! 😁
Despite that, she's an excellent cook now.

Maggiemaybe Mon 07-Jul-25 20:52:14

We do have a couple of budding entrepreneurs on our street though. One is doing a roaring trade cleaning cars for a few pounds (and doing a very good job), another has persuaded his parents to let him have some chickens and is now selling eggs from his garden, with a homemade honesty box for payments.

Maggiemaybe Mon 07-Jul-25 20:44:24

Elowen33

Young people do not use Facebook so it makes sense that parents are asking via their accounts.

I think this has a lot to do with it. The oldies with the jobs to offer are likely to be on Facebook, the youngsters not so much.

It does give a much better impression if they make the enquiries themselves though.

Tenko Mon 07-Jul-25 20:31:53

Primrose53

I have long thought kids are molly coddled.
A prime example recently was someone in my extended family whose teenage daughter rang her mid morning to ask if she could drop her a jumper in to school as she was cold. It was 22C! She was at our house which is 14 miles from the school but she lives 24 miles in the OTHER direction.

I told her not to and tell the girl next time make sure you have a jumper with you. She was daft enough to do it though! I could not believe it. 🥺

I knew several sahms who would regularly take PE kit, homework , cooking stuff etc to their DC schools , because their kids had forgotten stuff . I was a working mum and if mine had forgotten something, tough ! . And this was 20-25 years ago .

Pantglas2 Mon 07-Jul-25 20:24:17

Your comments are noted imaround.

I suspect though the OP was referring to casual jobs during holidays etc as that age group would be in further education before looking for career positions.

CVS/Resumes would be OTT for washing up, clearing tables, cleaning and simple act of asking if there was any casual work available at an establishment would show they wanted to work.

Oldnproud Mon 07-Jul-25 19:47:53

Back in the 1940s, my mum left school at 14, like almost all of her contemporaries. Her mother had a job lined up for her.
Was she molly coddled?
Knowing what I know about her upbringing, I can categorically say that she wasn't!