AIBU - Is it fair for me to live like this?

I’ve read the whole thread and it’s clear a lack of continuous care has impacted the situation you find yourself in. It’s awful and people who lack compassion regarding this need to give their head a wobble.

I was only going to make a little suggestion. Have you heard of diabetic shoes? I will have a quick Google but they may help your shoe situation long term.

Also, have you spoken to any of your children about this?

Genius [ferry23]..can’t get my fingers working yet

one black slipper and one pink suede loafer
I heard that's the new fashion!!

Yes, the gardening shoes will be better than slippers, just heard about a relative who had a spectacular fall wearing slippers.

I sometimes think negotiating the NHS now is like wading through treacle.

ferry Please ignore, as there is always one. I also was told about she being the cat's mother.

It will be interesting to hear what is said when you mention the DN arriving. Hopefully you have had a pain-free night and feel better able to face the day.

I think part of your problem is that you do not have three hands or the agility of a 21 year old. Arthritic hands are a problem but there is little we can do about that.

Thank you Retroladywriting.

When you're alone and living through a difficult time, little things that may seem insignificant to others can mean the world. I've taken such strength from the posters on this thread. The suggestions, the empathy and the private messages sent to me have honestly kept my head in the right place and made me feel less alone.

It only takes one rather supercilious and if I may say, arrogant remark to burst the bubble. Particularly as it was made to sound as if I'm lying about my situation.

I feel exhausted battling with the variety of NHS staff that I'm seeing right now, I don't need to be battling on here as well!

Anyway the good news this morning is that I've resurrected my old gardening shoes and ripped the inner sole out of one of them and they fit over my bandage. Better than slippers or one black slipper and one pink suede loafer

argymargy

Jaxjacky

argymargy

Please don’t take this the wrong way, ferry23, but is there any reason you couldn’t be taught to change your own dressings and be provided with the means to do that?

If you read through ferry has severe arthritis in both hands and it’s just not possible.

Ah ok, sorry. But she can drive and she can cut up her shoes? It’s not a criticism of ferry23 - I think sometimes the professionals don’t give people enough credit to look after themselves at least as well (if not better).

That was incredibly rude. I am glad that Ferry came back with her brilliant answer.

Ferry - we're all with you today. Good luck - hope it's at least one of the better days. xx

argymargy

Jaxjacky

argymargy

Please don’t take this the wrong way, ferry23, but is there any reason you couldn’t be taught to change your own dressings and be provided with the means to do that?

If you read through ferry has severe arthritis in both hands and it’s just not possible.

Ah ok, sorry. But she can drive and she can cut up her shoes? It’s not a criticism of ferry23 - I think sometimes the professionals don’t give people enough credit to look after themselves at least as well (if not better).

I beg your pardon - who's she?

We had a saying in our family when I was young - "Who's she? The cat's Mother?".

I'm afraid you do sound critical. As well as rude and patronising. Yes I can drive although that has become more difficult lately - see upthread. I've no intention of cutting a shoe and never have!

I'm neither stupid or incapable. Please don't imply that I am either.

In fact I'm the one who did get a District Nurse to call yesterday despite weeks of my surgery telling me they wouldn't accept me as a referral. Not so stupid after all eh?

Jaxjacky

argymargy

Please don’t take this the wrong way, ferry23, but is there any reason you couldn’t be taught to change your own dressings and be provided with the means to do that?

If you read through ferry has severe arthritis in both hands and it’s just not possible.

Ah ok, sorry. But she can drive and she can cut up her shoes? It’s not a criticism of ferry23 - I think sometimes the professionals don’t give people enough credit to look after themselves at least as well (if not better).

ferry23

Yes, I've obviously seen all the posts about changing surgery, but we have no choice here. And I can honestly say that administratively, ease of seeing a clinician, follow ups and reviews this surgery is streets ahead of my previous surgery. But clearly they're not handling this so well. Such a shame as it's a highly praised practice around here.

Perhaps you need to burst into tears, stand up (if you can!) and say, rather loudly "I've had enough! Do something!!"

I did that once when I'd had enough of platitudes from a GP, admittedly I was pregnant at the time so hormones probably played a part.

He just looked me in the eye, reached for his phone and asked for an urgent appointment with a Consultant the next day and arranged it there and then.

That was a while ago.

Sorry ferry23 - the GP registering aspect has rather taken over from your problems! - my fault - I hope they get sorted soon!

I have tried to change. They send you the boundary map and say that you cannot be accepted outside the red line. The line between me and a better surgery runs in the middle of the lane outside my house - what sane person would put a boundary through the middle of a village?

There is one other surgery I could register with but it is over the border into another country! - and that causes all sorts of problems with specialist referral to hospitals a long way away from me.

Luckygirl3

It is not possible to change surgeries when you live rurally as I do. The boundaries are policed like a concentration camp!

I am glad that you had some decent helpful person to come to your aid and that some healing is beginning.

Put men on the moon? - no problem. Provide a district nurse for a person in need of help? - ah, now that's a whole other ball game, as they say .....

There's a turn of phrase indeed "boundaries policed like a concentration camp"....

I've swopped surgery since moving here - to West Wales - and I didnt have any problem there either. It had been a pretty poor choice anyway when I moved here - so I chose the least worst option. Then came the time when I could see the circumstances were such that they were going to close the one I was going to and I'd got visions of being told I had been swopped over without asking me what I thought over to the place of their choosing and could see we were all being told "The better one won't shut...it won't...honest" and I just thought "Yeah right - huh! I can see it will and so stop trying to tell us it won't". I got in first there and picked out the best option I could manage to find for a replacement (ie in another town) and just walked in there and asked to join their surgery - and got handed the application form and did so.

Maybe it's easier for me - as there is only one person in my household (ie me) and I look healthy (ie they maybe assume - correctly - that I won't require their services much).

I've even been known to come back from another country (ie Denmark - where I lived briefly decades back) and state to a doctor "I'm on so-and-so. Can I have a new prescription please - as I'm about to run out" and got it....job done. That being I'd got nowhere with the English "family doctor" I'd asked for the contraceptive pill when I got to 20 and I knew it was about time I was on it - just-in-case. But Mr English doctor in England refused me (it was the early 1970s and I was visibly single/not even a boyfriend) and so I just waited until I got to Denmark and went into one there and got prescribed it without so much as a lift of an eyebrow.

Maybe I've developed a good line in "Confidence I'll get what I want - of course", followed by extremely puzzled/surprised face and questioning (if appropriate) if I don't........

I had a pacemaker fitted a few months ago. The day came when I was supposed to remove the dressing from the wound. Living alone I felt nervous about doing this and, as I had an appointment at the surgery for a blood test, I rang and asked that the nurse remove the dressing for me while I was there. Answer: No.

Jobsworth: 1; humanity: 0.

In fact when I got to see the nurse I was so upset that she did it, but said she was not supposed to. What a farce!

Hoping there will be some improvement for you soon ferry

Yes, I've obviously seen all the posts about changing surgery, but we have no choice here. And I can honestly say that administratively, ease of seeing a clinician, follow ups and reviews this surgery is streets ahead of my previous surgery. But clearly they're not handling this so well. Such a shame as it's a highly praised practice around here.

Same here Luckygirl.
Better news ferry I hope it continues 🤞

It is not possible to change surgeries when you live rurally as I do. The boundaries are policed like a concentration camp!

I am glad that you had some decent helpful person to come to your aid and that some healing is beginning.

Put men on the moon? - no problem. Provide a district nurse for a person in need of help? - ah, now that's a whole other ball game, as they say .....

Charleygirl5

Now is not the time to be changing a GP surgery. The new surgery will ask why you are leaving and if you were truthful, the catalogue of disasters would put them off.

I started the process two days ago because I no longer have a licence and cannot afford a minicab each time. Although this was accepted, I was questioned.

Maybe it depends on where one lives - ie what happens if one changes surgery??

Back in my home city (southern England) I swopped surgeries 4 times in total (in 40 years) and I don't recall ever getting asked what my reason was. I just told them I wished to register with them now and did so. Which was probably just as well - given that one of those times I swopped on the spot the second I'd walked out the door from a doctor that told me the aches and pains I had was "normal - to be expected at your age". My stunned response was "In my early 30's???!!!!!" and I realised he was trying to imply it was arthritis. I knew exactly what it was and it was not anything of "my own" and 30's would have been very early to get arthritis anyway. So I walked out the door and was on the phone pronto swopping surgeries.

I know I make a semi-joke about just how fast people from my city "walk out the door" if something isn't good enough for us and it's absolutely common as a mindset there to think "50% satisfactory - I'm off...they're terrible", "70% - only if desperate and I don't intend to get that desperate" and our mindset (as a city) is "Make the standard you offer me at least 90% - or I'm still looking - because you're not good enough". I really like our mindset and still operate that way - ie that I don't accept less than 90% satisfaction at least - or I'm looking to swap until I get "mine".

But in case the area has a very different mindset to my home area ("less perfectionist" is how most would phrase it......) then think up a suitable "excuse" as to why, eg "It's nearer to my home" or "I've been so heavily recommended by a good friend of mine to Dr X at your surgery" or something else suitable that will switch off any questioning mindset the receptionist wants to come out with.

Luckygirl3

My heart sinks listening to this sorry saga. It is not just the perfectly ludicrous absence of efficiency but the sheer inhumanity of it all that makes me so sad.
My late OH was a GP. He would not have allowed a patient of his to be treated in this way. I was a social worker in medical settings and we would have been on top of this, not just out of professional pride but out of simple humanity.
And anyone we we might have contacted to expedite help would have been concerned and keen to solve the problem.
I feel so sad that this sense of commitment and care seems to have vanished.

I could see which way the wind was blowing when I was put on a medication which didn’t do a thing.
After a week I went back to my surgery where the said Dr could see that I could hardly walk.
I told her that the drugs weren’t working.
She actually said what do you want me to do about it 🤬
On a good day the air would have been blue but because I was so unwell I just broke down crying.
She’s no longer at our surgery.
On the other hand we have a Dr who would have you in for an MRI if you had a broken finger nail.

It will be needed again when getting out of the car. I used this method post hip surgery and it worked for me.

Ooh - thanks for the plastic bag tips! I can get flip flops on but not sure they will be ideal for walking across a car park and into the surgery given I'm a bit unsteady on my feet. The surgery doesn't have designated parking as it's situated in a large public car park. I always get there a good 20 minutes early so that I've got time to wait until a space near the surgery becomes available.

I'll have to go with the velcro slippers if needs be, I've put 3 innersoles in the one that goes on the good foot. It's still a bit loose but I'll see what else I can find to make it a bit smaller. What a farce!

silverlining48

To get into a car seat put a plastic bag on the seat and you swivel round much easier.

Please remember to take the plastic bag out from under you once in the vehicle.
If the bag is left on the seat it can cause someone to slip from the seat during braking, even when wearing a seat belt.

To get into a car seat put a plastic bag on the seat and you swivel round much easier.

Cutting the bandages may cause the whole thing to unravel

Do not cut away your dressing. To get to and from a vehicle, can you put your foot in a plastic bag.

Stay put