Comparison is the thief of joy.

After a couple of holidays where chaotic hours in uncomfortable airports with pushing and shoving at boarding gates we decided we would stay at home and have had some lovely holidays. Sometimes we have had arranged trips with local travel companies who pick us up so all is hassle free or as last week, in an air b&b with our family which was delightful. As long as I do not have to cook and I can do what I like when I like and not feel pressurised to sightsee or be organised in any way I am happy. My best photo from last week is me being taken for a paddle by my teenage grandson to see that I did not slip and fall in the sea!

All my group of friends go on multiple foreign holidays and cruises each year, and think DH and I are boring because we don't. We enjoy exploring the English countryside in our caravan with our dogs, doing projects in our lovely garden, and sitting together talking for hours. We have lots of hobbies we enjoy too. What I've found with our friends is this: 3 couples are not particularly "happily married" and apart from going on holiday they have nothing in common with each other. And 3 others are divorced /widowed so have no-one to share with daily lives with. So I am grateful that I don't NEED all those exotic holidays to feel happy and fulfilled. Maybe you don't need them either, you have a lovely husband and enjoy other things. I feel grateful that I am content with my life. I think there are many others who aren't.

Bear in mind that your friend’s husband is just plain rude and silly. Sounds like he’s a bit jealous of his wife’s friendship with you.

I find it quite normal that folks will go away and look around somewhere else, but do not know their own locality.

Do explore what is around you - museums, local walks, parks, nature trails. Treat it like a holiday - it is fun and very cheap.

Thankfully I rarely want what other people enjoy. I been on one cruise and that is quite sufficient in one lifetime. The things I enjoy are things other people have no interest in. It makes life so much simpler.

Have you considered house sitting?

There’s some reputable sites and you get to stay somewhere nice for free.

Thank you all.Feeling tons better and had a really relaxing day.Face mask and read a good book in the bath with my morning coffees. Met a friend for a dog walk and had a real good natter.Plus she is on her own as her DH left her for someone else years ago and holidays for her are a bit of a challenge sometimes both financially and sometimes on her own.So that puts things in perspective again.Then its been a lovely day here so enjoyed our garden which if I say so looks rather lovely at the moment-if a little bit dry.Actually now looking forward to our trip to friends now and will channel my inner zen if needed!

Wow yes some very good advice here, particularly these posts about doing yourself up a bit. When you feel your looking nice, it really does improve both confidence & outlook.
Nothing stays the same so I'm sure you'll perk -up soon.
I do agree with being forthright if there are issues that are causing
tension. Clear the air with an honest chat & define agreeable, clear boundaries.
I send you my best wishes & peace & contentment. 😊

keepingquiet

It's ok to get down at times- we are not living through the happiest at the moment.

It's also ok to have a good moan about it with people who aren't affected by it too.

Sometimes we have to put up with difficult people. Enjoy the time with your friend and I'm sure things will pick up for you soon.

Top advice from this lady.
I think a series of small low cost treats for yourself on a regular low cost treats would do you the world of good.

Chin up

🌻👍😻
X

I note the OP's handle is Washerwoman - why not change it for a week to glamourpuss or similar and treat yourself to a new hairdo, make -up, a pretty scarf or earrings? In other words give yourself a little holiday from the you that you feel a bit bored with.

I have been in pain for over nine weeks with a fractured vertebra and not getting speedy treatment even after the decision to go privately. I feel I could become really depressed but have made a point of wearing earrings every day, getting out nice summer dresses even if I'm not going anywhere, just to stop me sliding down into a mental hole I can't climb out of.

(Hopefully getting a procedure on Thursday but won't know till Tuesing because of the @*&!% Bank Holiday - didn't mean to derail your thread Washerwoman

Sorry to hear you've had a tough year, Washerwoman, I hope things improve.
I'd say, you've got therapy there in dogs!

Make the most of your ability to go away, and cherish your independence for as long as you can. We were globe trotters for years and planning a trip to Japan when DJ had a severe stroke in February and is paralysed with speech problems. End of holidays or trips to friends or family for us, so make those memories while you can!

Well I know how you feel a bit. I sometimes feel a bit envious of all that my friends and acquaintances have: company (I am on my own since OH died), a special person who knows me inside out, better health, holidays (so hard for me now that my health is unpredictable), the ability to pop out for the day on a whim or go for a lovely walk ...........

But - I live in a kind community; I have good caring DDs and the view from my home is to die for, as they say. So in reality I would probably rather be right here soaking this up - but social media etc. tugs away! Best ignored I think.

@Washerwoman. I think it’s the time of the year. Most of my friends are away or out and about and close ones that I usually 2 or 3 times a week, I haven’t seen in weeks. I feel once schools go back etc… things settle down again.

I’m glad you are feeling a little better. You’ve had a tough year. Much love

Someone on this forum, Good morning thread I think, that she had a warm house , plenty of food and could pay her bills without worrying.
I have remembered that and try to recall it when things are tough.
Get your few days away while the weather is decent and enjoy.

And re dogs.Yes we sadly won't get another of our own but our DCs have one each do often looking after theirs.. I spent years dog sitting professionally so have to say I won't be rushing to have that responsibility anytime soon.I think we just need to prioritise booking the odd short break to refresh ourselves.

Thanks for the replies.Dogs walked ,had a swim and coffee afterwards with my book to read then 2 hours pottering in the garden.Equilibrium restored !I am happy and DH is a lovely kind man who still makes me laugh so lots to be grateful for.
It's probably because it's been a tough year and every friend I usually see regularly is either away,going away or just returned and we seem boring in comparison. However I still have good friends so can't be that bad.!And I realise this morning I sounded very ungrateful to be invited to my lovely friends for a few days.Will definitely book something for next year to know we will get away and actually some of our best holidays in recent years have been in Norfolk and Northumberland so who needs a safari, cruise etc !

You can get fantastic holidays in UK and all over the world, for little more than the cost of getting there..

Either, you can do a straight house swap (we've done this to New Zealand).

Or, you leave your own home locked up and go to house-sit or pet-sit in someone elses home in a place you always wanted to explore That will be our future plan when the very LAST dog goes to the kennel in the sky. ( Currently loving the third VERY LAST DOG) but we mean it this time. )

Live the life you have and be happy. Other people's lives are not always as great as we think. We don't do overseas holidays anymore due to Mr J's health but are happy in our own home or short breaks away in the UK. As we age we have to adapt accordingly to what life throws at us. Don't spend time with people whose company you don't enjoy it will only drain you. So yes walk your dogs, have a swim and a coffee and give yourself some little treats because you are worth it!

Yes hopefully we can go for at least a walk and a coffee and leave them to it-especially as DH still can't walk far.At first her DH was suggesting some all day excursions when we've already had a long journey there but we said staying more local as still plenty to see suits us fine.And that way it can hopefully be less intense. I genuinely don't generally envy anyone.I think I'm just tired and a bit grumpy today as first the first time in ages wanted a 'proper' holiday.
That sounds a houseful Used to be !When I'm getting yet another request to childmind or dog sit etc I remind myself I'm lucky to have such closeness to DGC and family and one day it may well be a lot quieter and not to take these still active days for granted.I may book myself a couple of away days on my own when we return though just for a change.

Also, some of these cruises and exotic holidays just might not be all the participants say they are!

When asked about holidays, most of us say ‘oh it was wonderful’, even if it wasn’t!

It's best not to compare yourself to others as you will always find someone who seems to be having a better life than you. This leads to unhappiness.
I try to feel grateful for having enough of everything I need and just wish those who have more than enough well. I don't envy them.
I hope your down mood goes soon. We all get a bit low at times.

During your visit would it be possible to leave the men to chat and you and your friend go out for a walk or round the local shops?
We have friends who are constantly off on cruises and trips it often sounds plain exhausting!

The last part of my life, it really is the last part I am late eighties, is nothing like I had expected.
My H died six years ago, it was inevitable that one of us would be left, but then my GD came to live with me, nice for us both.
Then my S, her Father with whom she does not have good relationship also came back after a disastrous relationship break up.
Now his two teenagers are living here , one permanently and one temporary but he spends all school holidays and every weekend .
My GD’s boy friend is also here much of the time.
They are not youngsters but late twenties and early thirties.
I now just say” it is as it is.
I am never lonely , Jobs get done and if I feel unwell help is at hand.
Life just happens as it will eventually to those we may compare ourselves with.
We don’t know what happens in others lives, only what they let us believe.

It's ok to get down at times- we are not living through the happiest at the moment.

It's also ok to have a good moan about it with people who aren't affected by it too.

Sometimes we have to put up with difficult people. Enjoy the time with your friend and I'm sure things will pick up for you soon.