Disenchantment with life

Marg75

I agree with both Stillness and Granatlast007, you can be happy with your own home, family and way of life, and have good days but things are changing rapidly for the worse in just about every aspect of life.

I’m another one who absolutely agrees with this. We Gransnetters have known better times. I can’t quite put my finger on what’s wrong but I have a sense of unease.

Mt61

BlueBelle

I have completely forgotten Covid and lock downs it never really affected me I went out on my own to isolated places most days for walking never ever think about it now

You were quite lucky then, if it never affected you.
It affected me as I couldn’t go over my M & Ds doorstep, frightened the neighbours would grass. My poor dad started with dementia, I didn’t pick up on it until the pandemic was nearly over as my mum didn’t want to worry me, as we had a sick grandchild).
If ever occurred again I would ignore it next time round.

Mt61
I stopped following the rules when Professor Neil Ferguson he who predicted 500,000 deaths unless we isolated invited his married lover over to his house for some afternoon rumpy pumpy.
That’s when I said ( metaphorically) you can all go and +&#% yourselves.
Just in case people have forgotten who this two faced lying bastard is. Here’s the article.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8292249/Scientist-Neil-Fergusons-lover-said-lockdown-strained-marriage.html

BlueBelle

I have completely forgotten Covid and lock downs it never really affected me I went out on my own to isolated places most days for walking never ever think about it now

You were quite lucky then, if it never affected you.
It affected me as I couldn’t go over my M & Ds doorstep, frightened the neighbours would grass. My poor dad started with dementia, I didn’t pick up on it until the pandemic was nearly over as my mum didn’t want to worry me, as we had a sick grandchild).
If ever occurred again I would ignore it next time round.

I too miss the days of people dressing up to go to the theatre.

My son’s wonderful Columbian partner joined us for a family celebration lunch at the Ivy last weekend. She looked stunning. When I complimented her she said ‘we are brought up to dress well when going to a special event’.

Kate1949

Oh Ziggy my husband's constant cry when driving. 'What happened to indicating?' or 'Oh you're going that way. My crystal ball is at the cleaners.'

My daughter took her driving test and year ago, I took mine nearly 40 years ago. I asked her if the test had changed as drivers seem totally unaware of others on the road these days

That wasn’t countrywide.
My D is 60, born just before midnight on Saturday, I was home on Monday.
Second child 55 born at home.

Regarding the internet being a good thing, yes, it was in the beginning, the long ago 1980s.

Having listened to a talk by the local police at our WI, listening to You and Yours in Radio 4 and File on 4 and various other podcasts and programmes that talk about corruption and scams, I would say beware these days, people are being scammed out of 000s. I have two son in laws in IT and they are super aware of all the complexity, it's run away from all of us now. Take care everyone.

Our daughter is 55. We had to stay in hospital for 10 days then.

My adult children are nearly 51 and 49.

Chatting to a friend whose daughter had a baby a couple of years ago, I said I was glad I had my children half a century ago.

You stayed in hospital 7 days with your first baby, never a question of whether there would be a bed or midwife available, proper care, can remember a gentle nurse washing my lower regions with warm water and Savlon? soon after giving birth, so lovely and refreshing.

And the ward sister in a ‘proper’ uniform and frilly cap.

Yes, I know ‘scrubs’ are more practical, but back then you could tell who was a midwife or who was a ward orderly, not like nowadays.

It’s not all progress.

I am definitely a glass half full person. I dress for me I like to look neat and what my Granny would have called put together wherever I go, how others dress is not my problem.

Life and the world have changed during my lifetime, but mostly for the better. Wouldn’t like to go back to no central heating, London smog, women not being taken seriously in the workplace, the stigma and shame of being a single parent.

The internet has brought the world into our homes at a touch of our fingertips. For those who can no longer travel you can see anywhere in the world on live cameras. All that knowledge at the touch of a button.

Yes there is a downside to the internet, but it is outweighed by the good.

I live my life to the best of my ability, there is no point worrying about things that you cannot change.

I am eternally grateful for my health, family, friends and lifestyle. I Try not to take anything for granted, who knows what tomorrow will bring, it may be an adventure…

Robin202

CariadAgain

Yes, I agree with all you say.
Looking back, 2020 was the turning point. Everything changed, for the worse and continues to do so.
So much division took place during those early years and many of the rifts caused, have never really healed.
Standards have dropped and I made the observation the other day to my husband, how there were so many seriously overweight people walking around these days and how scruffy so many were, compared to a few years ago.
This govt also pumps out bad news on a daily basis which doesnt help.

We live very rurally and thankfully are surrounded by a beautiful landscape, sheep, cows and not too many people - which is the way I like it!

Yep...you're right re "many of the rifts caused have never really healed". Besides the personal level stuff of divorces etc - there's been group stuff too that's affected many more people.

I don't know how many people got chucked out of groups for having "complied". I only know one group I'm in that chucked out those "complying" and it was made very plain by the convenor that it was her group and she wasnt wanting them. Obviously that one didnt affect me....and I could still attend.

But two of the groups I was in chucked me out for not "complying" and they're still applying it all this time later (one of them may/may not still be in existence - ie a local book club) and the other one most definitely still is in existence. I've heard of people chucked out of at least 2 other groups in the area for not complying. But there's definitely an element of people personally who did comply still sorta "shifting away and being off-ish" if they know someone hasnt.

I don't know how widespread that is.....I only know my own view which is/was "I'm not going to treat anyone differently - for either having complied or not having complied". As I'm not in the dating agegroup any longer then the "I'm not going to date men who've had That Jab - just in case they affect my health" wasn't relevant to me. I've just stayed friends with both sexes/all sides of that divide personally.

Oh Ziggy my husband's constant cry when driving. 'What happened to indicating?' or 'Oh you're going that way. My crystal ball is at the cleaners.'

*burglaries

It is not just you, Stillness.

Life has changed for the worse in many ways.: plastic granules in drinking water, the rise of the far right in US , Israel, and UK, cruelty to food animals, despite best efforts of teachers not enough progress in child education, collapsing NHS, an aging population and how to care for the old.

I think the changes we see in the UK can be partly traced to getting further away from the Christian beliefs and values that our society is based on. This is the view of the agnostic historian Tom Holland in his book Dominion.
amzn.eu/d/4K9o1YY

However, there are signs that increased uncertainty and fear about the state of the world are leading people, particularly young people, to look to Christianity for meaning and stability.

// Full-fat faith: the young Christian converts filling our churches
Few would have predicted a comeback for Christianity, but a backlash against secularism looks less surprising set against the backdrop of global turmoil and a search for lost meaning and connection ...

Stephen Foster, the rector of the popular evangelical student church St Aldate’s [Oxford] and the most buoyant of the clergymen I meet, had 1,000 people for his 10 am Easter service this year; “more people in our building … than any time in the last thousand years”. //
- The Times, 15 August 2025
www.thetimes.com/article/0da0f92a-b111-4df1-a476-4f2edd05e00e?shareToken=7c975de38933e01f06b8673adf5df3d7

Turning back to God is the best hope for our society IMO.

Yes, every older generation grumbles about modern life. At the same time I do think some things have got worse:

* Politeness in public, e g talking during theatre performances, swearing a lot while talking in the street.

Some of this may be the result of changing circumstances: before mobile phones people didn’t get their phones out in the cinema and they didn’t play music or videos loudly on trains and buses. They would have had to bring a cassette player to do that.

I’m not too bothered about people dressing less smartly, personally.

* Litter. It’s worse in my area, both in my local city and in my neighbourhood. Also so much litter along roads, thrown out of cars. Flytipping. Perhaps partly caused by less consideration for others (coming from lower social cohesion?)

* Obesity. Partly a result of people eating more ultra processed food. I have also read that antibiotic use kills some of the beneficial microbes in the microbiome (the microorganisms that live in the digestive system. We actually need some of them in order to function properly.) Without these microbes a person is more likely to become obese.

(A map of the USA showing average antibiotic use in each state looks similar to a map of the USA showing the obesity rate in each state.)

Obesity is a problem for everyone as it ‘costs the NHS around £6.5 billion a year’ according to gov.uk. (
healthmedia.blog.gov.uk/category/public-health/obesity/ ) Obesity and overweight make people more likely to get cancer, heart disease, diabetes and other illnesses. This also means more money spent on benefits.

* Public services are worse. Potholes, police not attending after burglars or policing shoplifting under £200, libraries closing, GP appointments hard to get.

* Totally agree about worse parenting, partly caused by parents attending to phones.

* Increased division and conflict between different groups. Brexit/Remainer. Woke/non-woke. Political differences. Social media doesn’t help here.

* AI.

* Internet porn

* War in the Middle East and Ukraine. The threat of nuclear weapons being used by Putin, a tyrannical dictator with ambitions to expand Russia. The fact that the president of the USA appears narcissistic and unpredictable.

I also agree that it is best not to get bogged down mentally by things that go on in the world that you can’t affect, but to try to make a positive difference to things you can affect. Like being kind to people, giving money to charity, and praying if that’s something you do. I find my faith and my church very comforting.

I think all the change is just beginning, everything can be instant now on the phone on the tv and AI will make things worse. Surely obesity isn’t helped by the fact that you can get food from anywhere delivered to your door day and night. The traffic is so heavy because there are more people here. The exercise of walking into town to shop is a waste of time as there are so few shops so we all drive to out of town centres. Yes I could ho on but we are just living in a time of huge change
I don’t really think about Covid either except when trying to connect with the GP their service has also never returned to ‘normal’.

This is an interesting and helpful thread for me. I have pulled back from the news and social media and try to meditate and leave time to just be. I do, still, feel frightened by the speed of change and the peculiar helplessness that changes related to technology are bringing, especially AI.

I was thinking about this last night and two recent moments came to mind. Waiting behind a mother in a busy Costa attached to Tesco. She was glued to her phone, her two children, boy aged 6 and girl 5 (?) treated Costa as a giant playground, racing around at top speed playing tag around the tables. She ignored them though I think she once said to the boy 'stop running' barely looking up and he, of course, ignored her.

Another day, another supermarket, I couldn't get to a shelf because the woman in front of it with her trolley, was jiggling a baby on one hip, a phone in her other hand, texting I think. This went on for some time with the baby getting occasional looks but her attention was on the phone.

I've seen threads on Mumsnet about phone addiction, children are not read to any longer, toddlers are given phones to distract them, children are starting school still in nappies, never mind being able to dress themselves or do up clothing.

This is terrible for small children who need eye contact and engaged parents. The arrival of AI meaning that truth is being seriously challenged, the availability of porn and violence on the Internet are a threat to our whole way of life. I believe it's serious and certainly something that feels out of control.

I’m with BlueBelle and Louis Armstrong “What a wonderful world”. I’ve just come back from a little break and the beauty of this country, never too far away, is outstanding. If you have eyes to see, you can see it.
I don’t wear rosy spectacles, but always look for the best. After two bouts of cancer how many more summers will I see? Even a long life is not really that long.
I remember reading about Denis Potter looking at the cherry blossom outside his window. He was on oxygen and knew his time was very limited. The blossom looked brighter than ever before through the realisation that he would soon be gone.

I limit my intake of the disasters of the world, don’t watch horror films or upsetting dramas and try to concentrate on the good things of life, of which there are so many.
Do try to see life in a more positive frame of mind and see a doctor as you may benefit from antidepressants.

A meal out is a treat so I like to dress nicely. But then you feel embarrassed and over dressed as you see men dressed in not even a clean T shirt and even track suit bottoms, women in their daily wear.

Yes, overweight people depress me too. What a burden for the NHS and I wonder if they realise the health issues they will have in middle age?

The world is a depressing place. Climate emergency, lack of care for our green environment, wars, genocide, lack of courtesy, hatred on social media and it seems, many need anger management training.

It is also depressing to see notices in shops warning that aggression will not be tolerated, and when calling organisations. How has it come to this???

Self-care is so important, go out into a green space and just use your senses - listen to bird songs, smell the fragrance of flowers, watch the butterflies and appreciate the silence.

Most of us on here are aware of our mortality - try not to waste time in feeling down.

In answer to the question do I feel disenchanted with life no I don’t I do what I can to make it as positive for everyone I come into contact with, if I can help with a problem or just smile at stranger in the street I do.
I m not a total Pollyanna I m well aware of all the troubles in the world I m not in a bubble I can only do so much and that I try to do but I cannot sit thinking and thinking about something I can do nothing about however that doesn’t mean
I m not aware, it doesn’t mean I m not involved with the negatives, it just means I chose to try and look on the bright side for my own survival and the plus side is if I m surviving no one has to add to their problems and rescue me
That’s just me

Thankyou Oreo , It's the only way for me otherwise I would drop into deep sadness. My needs are small and I ask little of life . I completely understand how some struggle as life can feel harsh and rushed . I tell myself that most people are good and decent and trying to live a good life and they are .

And we do have to remember that every older generation grumbles about ‘modern life’.

I think you’re living in the right way ToeToe 😃
Always best to not get bogged down mentally by anything going on in the world, we can’t change anything in any case by watching and getting emotionally involved.Do your best for those around you and in everyday verbal exchanges.

Like many I live alone and can find life fearful at times. I try not to listen to to much news and am careful at what I watch on TV as it can bring me down . I mostly live in my small bubble but it is hard as I have no family help . At times I wonder about the future of our country and worry for the young ones / granchildren . I often feel it's not my world and feel as though I no longer belong . Each day I wake I do my best to be kind and if someone needs help I will do what I can to make a difference . I volunteer in a supporting way and it helps me to feel better . Friends who I once loved and trusted moved on and I guess had no use of me anymore , this made me sad for a long time but I've become used to being on my own . I feel safe in my home and love my little garden , have good neighbours and sufficient to live on so I do feel lucky . My health is good . My church is a comfort to me and the people there .