70th Birthday Party

My DS and family came from NZ for a trip the year of my 70th. I moved my celebrations to fit with their visit
Best decision I made..

So I guess YABU.

Hippie20

Interesting. My own view is 70th is an important milestone and true friends would prioritise it over a a holiday with casual friends. And in my case those long term friends are no longer friends as they did not value our friendship..

You ended friendships over a birthday party?

You expected your birthday to be more important than their holiday?

Goodness.

Out of curiosity, what did you do to celebrate their birthdays?

Interesting. My own view is 70th is an important milestone and true friends would prioritise it over a a holiday with casual friends. And in my case those long term friends are no longer friends as they did not value our friendship..

Are they your only two guests?
If not then just have a great time with whoever turns up regardless.
Friends can be disappointing but don’t let that spoil your day.

Hippie20

Am I being unreasonable to feel hurt that 2 friends of 20 years have booked holidays instead of coming to my 70th Birthday celebrations

Yes.

Most people would put their own family holiday or whatever before a friend's birthday celebration. I would. My family have sometimes been away on my birthday, including my daughter. She always makes sure to bring gifts before she goes and phones on the day. She never spends my birthday with me anyway. I don't mind at all.

How unkind

Hippie20

Am I being unreasonable to feel hurt that 2 friends of 20 years have booked holidays instead of coming to my 70th Birthday celebrations

Yes, YABU.

By 70, many people no longer attach much significance to their birthdays. (No gifts, thanks. I've got enough of everything to last the rest of my life and then some. I'm trying to reduce it. Birthday cards optional.)

By 70, a 20 year friendship counts as "relatively recent"....many of our relationships have lasted far far longer.

By 70, I expect friends to accept me just as I am. We all know each others' quirks and faults by now. I'm good enough; (or as good as I'm going to get) and so are they. Memory glitches? Forget it.

None of us has enough time left to put off our own bucket list.

I thoroughly understand your feelings, especially as you have been friends with these people for so long.
Unlike some on here, I don't think you're being at all unreasonable.
A 70th Birthday is something to celebrate, especially with old friends.

Sending big hugs. Enjoy your party with all the people who will be there to help you celebrate and forget about those who aren't going to be there. Hopefully they will make it up to you .I'm sure you will have a wonderful time

Crossstitchfan

You said some people booked their holiday after receiving your invitation and you are hurt by that. The trouble is, and what you don’t seem to realise, is that when they book, they may have little choice about whether it clashes with your birthday or not. Because holiday dates are notoriously difficult to sort out, with all the factors involved, they may only have been able to have those dates, or miss their holiday altogether. Surely you wouldn’t have wanted them to do that?
If it had been, say, your wedding, then maybe you would have a reason to be upset and hurt, but for a birthday? I have just had my 80th and would have been devastated if anyone had thought they ought to miss their holiday because of it.
So yes, I think you are being very unreasonable.

Good post. Agree 100%.

You said some people booked their holiday after receiving your invitation and you are hurt by that. The trouble is, and what you don’t seem to realise, is that when they book, they may have little choice about whether it clashes with your birthday or not. Because holiday dates are notoriously difficult to sort out, with all the factors involved, they may only have been able to have those dates, or miss their holiday altogether. Surely you wouldn’t have wanted them to do that?
If it had been, say, your wedding, then maybe you would have a reason to be upset and hurt, but for a birthday? I have just had my 80th and would have been devastated if anyone had thought they ought to miss their holiday because of it.
So yes, I think you are being very unreasonable.

Please don't let it spoil your birthday.
To be honest in your situation I would not be upset about it. That doesn't help you I understand that. We are all different. Have a wonderful 70th birthday party and don't let your friends know how you feel . Friends are important! So I think you should keep the peace.

At least it wasn’t your family. My birthday was on 14th August.
I admit it wasn’t a big birthday but my 2 sons and their families had booked holidays for that week. My sweet daughter was the only one who was here to spend the day with me. I was hurt at that time but I’m over it now.

I agree with Aldo’s, if they booked after receiving your invitation I would be upset too. However, I think we just have to accept that some people are just thoughtless and they probably didn’t do it deliberately to upset you. If I were you I would let them know that you are upset that they won’t be coming without making a big thing about it. Hopefully it will make them feel bad if nothing else.
Have a lovely birthday and enjoy your party . You don’t need them to enjoy yourself.

When did your friends actually book the holidays? If it was after your invitation, then yes, I can understand why you feel hurt.
Try not to let it spoil your celebration.
Something similar happened to me once, but on the day of the celebrations I didn't give it a thought.
I still remember....but it doesn't upset me.