Next Door Neighbour Is Getting On My Nerves !

I think that is up to your husband. He can use body language to be dismissive of her, giving her the cold shoulder, so to speak.

If she knocks on the door, then make sure you answer, and just tell her your hubby is busy. She should hopefully get the hint after a few attempts!

I agree CanadianGran.

This is for husband to sort out- she sounds a real pain but he also needs to back you up and tell her to back off!

Your DH is probably too polite and nice so can understand him getting into these situations against his will. Can’t you answer the door when she comes and tell your DH to stay out of the way and then tell her your husband isn’t available, is busy etc., but if she shouts over the fence your DH will have to learn to be a bit stand offish, making excuses such as he has to nip inside to make an important call. She’ll soon get the gist.

This would seriously annoy me too! And Mr A, whilst being nobody’s fool is very kind and would help anyone…..actually, we both would in most circumstances…….but not such a neighbour as this!
Yes, it’s easy to say for you to answer the door when the neighbour comes a knocking but when your husband is outside he is accessible to her. It’s at these times that he seriously needs to be blunt with her and tell her to leave him alone, he’s not going to gossip about anyone else and he doesn’t want to associate with her. Communication isn’t difficult!

This made me smile as I thought of my husband (who is competent and kind) - he is a straight talker and would simply say "No, sorry, you'll have to find someone else".

It only needs to be done once! (Unless she's really thick skinned, then maybe twice). And your husband has to do it, not you.

Feeling really annoyed!
My sister and our partners are going on holiday together in nine days.
Her neighbour and male friend have booked our exact same holiday, same flight, same dates, same hotel, only difference is they’re half board and not all inclusive.
I see this women in a communal area when neighbours are walking their dogs.
Weeks ago, when she talked about a possible booking, I quiet clearly told them that this was our family holiday, and after a disastrous holiday years ago, I told them that I choose our holiday mates very carefully, I even surprised myself by my openness/ honesty with them.
Tomorrow night is my sisters engagement party and I know they’ll be attending.
I feel as though this is where I should point out my boundaries yet again as she obviously doesn’t recognise any.
I don’t want to feel like I’m playing cat and mouse for the whole week, firstly at the airport, coach transfer and around the hotel but this is all I can visualise at the moment.
It’s replaced all the excitement I’d been feeling.
Any advice for tomorrow nights announcement when she informs my husband and I of their booking. I don’t want to be hurtful but this is hurting me.

I should point out this is my sisters neighbour and not mine

You need to start your own thread L0la, this is about Nanato's neighbour

Just comment to her that it is unfortunate that you have both booked dthe same hotel because everyone wants to get awayon holiday without seeing half the street arund you, so you must both agree to avoid each other like the plague through out the holiday.

Say it in a way that suggests that she too must be fed up because they have booked the same hotel as you and will not want to see you anymore than you want to see them. That way it should be easier when on holiday, to say on holiday when you meet them , 'oh dear I am getting in your way again and scarpering in the opposite direction. That way you can make it look as if you are doing them a favour by avoiding them like the plague.

A good suggestion MOnica.

Can you "upgrade" to a nearby but different hotel?

L0la

Feeling really annoyed!
My sister and our partners are going on holiday together in nine days.
Her neighbour and male friend have booked our exact same holiday, same flight, same dates, same hotel, only difference is they’re half board and not all inclusive.
I see this women in a communal area when neighbours are walking their dogs.
Weeks ago, when she talked about a possible booking, I quiet clearly told them that this was our family holiday, and after a disastrous holiday years ago, I told them that I choose our holiday mates very carefully, I even surprised myself by my openness/ honesty with them.
Tomorrow night is my sisters engagement party and I know they’ll be attending.
I feel as though this is where I should point out my boundaries yet again as she obviously doesn’t recognise any.
I don’t want to feel like I’m playing cat and mouse for the whole week, firstly at the airport, coach transfer and around the hotel but this is all I can visualise at the moment.
It’s replaced all the excitement I’d been feeling.
Any advice for tomorrow nights announcement when she informs my husband and I of their booking. I don’t want to be hurtful but this is hurting me.

Was this a coincidence? If not how did she know all the details? I'd never give neighbours all that information.

I think I will have to start answering the door has been suggested. It's more difficult for me because I struggle with walking and that's why hubby answers.

She can't see hubby in back garden because there is high fencing up but she listens for him and as soon as she hears him come outside or let the dogs into the garden she'll shout him . Never says anything to me when I let the dogs into garden. Poor hubby can't go about his business because she'll talk for ages . We've often listened at our back door before we've opened it just to prove to ourselves she does listen out for him . It's so annoying.

Nanato3

I think I will have to start answering the door has been suggested. It's more difficult for me because I struggle with walking and that's why hubby answers.

She can't see hubby in back garden because there is high fencing up but she listens for him and as soon as she hears him come outside or let the dogs into the garden she'll shout him . Never says anything to me when I let the dogs into garden. Poor hubby can't go about his business because she'll talk for ages . We've often listened at our back door before we've opened it just to prove to ourselves she does listen out for him . It's so annoying.

If she can't see him in the back garden, how can she see you? How can she tell which of you is out there?

Just go out in your garden by yourself and when you hear her come out, say loudly ;
"Keep your voice down DH, or she'll hear you and start pestering for hours".

or
"Quick, Bob, hide before the silly tart knows you're here".

I agree about you answering the door, I don't agree with calling out stupid vile insults and calling her a silly tart or shouting any insults Please don't go down to that level.
Your husband needs to start ignoring her. I also get the impression she is trying to wind you up.

.

She can't see hubby in back garden because there is high fencing up but she listens for him and as soon as she hears him come outside or let the dogs into the garden she'll shout him .

So why does he answer her? All he needs to do is say nothing and carry on with what he's doing 🤷🏻

I couldn't shout out anything nasty and neither could hubby ,
we're not made that way .
She must be very thick skinned because hubby has sometimes ignored her and came indoors but she gets him later . Thankfully it's not every day but she always let's her dog out as soon as we let ours out . Strange woman

Your husband needs to start ignoring her. I also get the impression she is trying to wind you up.

It's working too, isn't it 🤦🏻

I've told him to do that . He's too nice for his own good .
Plus she's very pushy .

You and especially your husband have to say no to anything she asks politely. Whatever you do don't take in parcels for her.
If she won't take no for an answer then I am afraid you are going to have to be rude to her and she will probably cry as a tactic but just shut the door .
I know this will go against how you and your husband are with people .

But her husband died about 10 years ago . She is way past standing on her own 2 feet.

Even after my husband died and the children left home I only asked a married friends husband once for the name of someone to replaced the side door and frame on my old house ..I had to do things myself . My husband died in 2004 . So had lots of practice .

You're not being unreasonable, just be kind to her and explain the situation. Me and my wife once had a nosy neighbour, and she wouldn't leave us alone. We just said it to her face, but kindly, and now she leaves us alone. Just be firm, but fair.

Agree Arthurmann, firmness and refusing to engage, no need to result to insults.