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AIBU

Mentally exhausted

(23 Posts)
Daisy25 Mon 22-Dec-25 13:37:55

AIBU not wanting to join in with anything atm.
It's been such a difficult year with family illness, tension between members of my family (trying to solve) and the need to put on a brave face. Today I just feel like opting out of the carols in the village and give myself a break from it all. Does that make any sense? I feel guilty, selfish and tbh just can't handle anything today. I'm hoping with a day of rest today, I can find my happiness and Xmas spirit tomorrow.

Cossy Mon 22-Dec-25 13:47:21

You are neither guilty nor selfish, you’re simply totally fatigued!

Take a well earned break and rest and actually do things YOU enjoy.

Your family and friends will totally understand if they love you.

Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. flowers

CariadAgain Mon 22-Dec-25 13:47:31

You're emotionally tired by the sound of it. It makes sense to me.

No point in feeling guilty or selfish. Earth is an extremely difficult (shall we call it "extremely challenging"?) planet to live on and if it's dished out a basinfull of the bad stuff that happens here in quick succession = then it can feel sometimes like one needs a rest from it at intervals and have a temporary mini retreat from it as far as possible once in a while - whilst you get your strength back up to "plunge back into it".

Add that there's all sorts of bad stuff going on over our collective heads (that Lockdown we recently had/the state of the economy/the way they are threatening to have another World War/just how much war and civil war there is happening in the world anyway).

It's no wonder it takes an enormous amount of emotional energy to deal with living here - and if personal stuff has been going on for a while as well = no wonder you need a mini-break for a while.

Take it and don't feel guilty.

J52 Mon 22-Dec-25 14:23:52

You need a ‘sofa afternoon’ watching the BBC 4 iPlayer collection of Jane Austen adaptations. Some are plays for TV others are films. The vintage ones are interesting.

Crossstitchfan Mon 22-Dec-25 14:31:14

I can’t really improve on what’s been said really. But try not to worry. If your mojo comes back, all well and good. If not, just do what pleases you, and enjoy whatever you can.
The only thing I would say is that I have felt just like you in the past, but have found that if I force myself to go, I usually enjoy it. Hope you feel more like yourself soon.

Primrose53 Mon 22-Dec-25 15:39:29

Yes it makes sense. Feeling much the same here.
Hope you feel better soon.

Iam64 Mon 22-Dec-25 16:03:25

Daisy25, I hope you find consolation in others sharing the way you feel. Your OP is spot on, you’re mentally exhausted and you aren’t alone.

I feel we are living in tough times, so many of us are cynical, angry, disillusioned. Take some time for yourself. Lie on a sofa with a book, or music, tv, whatever you enjiy. Step out of the rush, hurry and high emotions and look after yourself x

DriftSignal Wed 24-Dec-25 07:30:02

It makes complete sense to feel this way when you’ve been carrying so much for so long.
You’re not selfish at all you’re exhausted and that matters.
Taking a day to step back and rest can be exactly what you need.
Be gentle with yourself and do whatever helps you recharge today.

M0nica Wed 24-Dec-25 07:45:11

You may also be going down with one of the many bugs doing the rounds.

I had a day when I felt like you do about a month ago and, like you I had every reason to be totally exhausted physically and mentally. However the following day day I woke up feeling really unwell, followed by several days when I virtually stayed in bed I felt so ill. The enforced rest did me good and after 4 or 5 days I recovered.

madeleine45 Wed 24-Dec-25 08:25:52

Dont forget you can always have an important appointment with us here on GN. You definitely need that rest and if we provide a reason to opt out and take a deep breath good. Life is always odd isnt it? We can feel stressed being with too many people, or the wrong people, as we miss many loved ones especially at a time like this. So we can desperately want to be on our own, or on the other hand feel totally miserable being on our own and need company. Well as in the rest of the year, let GN be a help. Whether to have a moan or a laugh, we are always here and will be tomorrow too at some point. We will look forward to hearing funny stories, the hopefully not many disasters, and the relief and pleasure we all feel when everything is done tomorrow and we can sink exhausted back into our usual lives! So GN recommend that you take yourself off to have some peace and quiet, treat yourself to a lovely coffee somewhere or do my favourite trick of making up a flask and a cake or whatever and then driving out - in my case up to the dales - and sit there away from all the hassle and enjoy the landscape and remember so many wonderful days there in the past. I always come back refreshed and ready to face the music when I have done that. So these are the GN prescriptions to take or not as you please. May you find some peace whatever you do.

lixy Wed 24-Dec-25 08:30:15

Great post madeleine45.

daisy25 I hope you can recharge your batteries. Don’t feel at all guilty about taking a break - you can only support other when you are strong enough yourself.

Wyllow3 Wed 22-Apr-26 11:08:41

You are clearly very, very caring, and are the sort who wants to "make it OK" for others. Yes you need not only time out now, but to maybe consider cutting out some responsibilities in the longer term so's to build your own energy bank.

Care for yourself as you would others.

I do realise that there are some caring responsibilities that we willingly take on and cannot evade like illness of those who are the very closest. These, reach out for any help going.

But as regards family conflict, regrettably sometimes we have to leave those in conflict to sort it out for themselves.

And that will be very very hard for you indeed especially if the family expects you to carry that role as maybe you always have. The truth is ususally best - "I'm really not very well" and yes....they wont like it and you need to stick to your self caring.

Its that common saying on the aircraft - "put on your own Oxygen mask before helping another with their's" - ie if we burn out, what help can we really be for others in the end?

But you are clearly a lovely caring person and we all, in our one lives, deserve to be able to "observe the Lillies" "what is life so full of care we have not time to stand and stare".

RosiesMawagain Wed 22-Apr-26 12:36:16

Another thread revived by a spammer?

HelterSkelter1 Thu 23-Apr-26 06:57:44

I hope OP recognises her thread and comes back to say how she coped then and how she is now...and what helped her.

TheWeirdoAgain60 Thu 23-Apr-26 08:49:27

You're not guilty or selfish at all; you're exhausted from everyone and everything else's dramas.

You don't HAVE to do anything with or for anyone, you don't HAVE to be anywhere for any reason.

Stay home and put your feet up, or buy yourself something nice or have a lovely meal at a bistro, do whatever is best for YOU, and you don't have to apologise to anyone, doesn't have to be just the one day, either!

Remember, you don't owe anyone anything; it's your life, not theirs! Let them sort their own lives and carols!

Sago Thu 23-Apr-26 09:09:51

Old thread

RosiesMawagain Thu 23-Apr-26 10:03:34

As some have commented upthread

Flippinheck Fri 24-Apr-26 08:20:45

RosiesMawagain

Another thread revived by a spammer?

wyllow3 is a spammer?

NotSpaghetti Fri 24-Apr-26 08:30:42

daisy25 I do hope you are through the bad patch and life looks a bit brighter now.
flowers
Thinking of you.
Xx

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 09:42:42

It to my knowledge 😬

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 09:42:58

I mean not to my knowledge…

Daisy25 Tue 28-Apr-26 10:47:02

Funny how I just came across this revived post this morning.
Update:
Well I did get through it and as many noticed at the time I was feeling guilty for wanting to just take a break and at the time think I was emotionally exhausted.
Unfortunately my Father passed away early January, so tbh it's been a bit of a roller coaster supporting my Mum through everything since his passing, which as people will know who have experienced this...it's a lot!
I take time out for myself more, and am managing my own self better and letting family tension (which there is much less of) just flow over me. I'm taking time to enjoy the simple things in life and enjoyed a few wonderful days with friends letting me hair down.
Now I'm just keeping it in the day and not taking on anything I cannot handle.
Thank you for all your lovely support at the time, it was much appreciated and reading it back now makes me realise how grateful I am for being part of this community. Thank you.

NotSpaghetti Tue 28-Apr-26 10:50:31

Oh Daisy thank you for coming back.

Some periods are truly relentless!
So pleased you are feeling a bit more able to manage.