Wedding Anniversary

NotAGran55

This is an ironic thread.

The OP asked if it was unreasonable to expect people to reply, and then does exactly the same herself by not responding!

If that’s her attitude maybe she’s not replied to requests sent to her.

OP hasn't come back, yet!

NotSpaghetti

Witzend I love that you had a regular office do

Consummated on the photo copier?😁

Hope OP had many replies since then 😂

We should have asked her to RSVP!! 😂

This is an ironic thread.

The OP asked if it was unreasonable to expect people to reply, and then does exactly the same herself by not responding!

*invitation!

* there

That's all very disappointing for you, OP. You made it clear on the pre-invitation that numbers would determine where the venue would be, but they didn't have the decency to reply. I would definitely scrap the party plans, explain to those that were coming that unfortunately numbers were too low to fill a venue, and have a fabulous holiday, just the two of you. As has been said previously, cruises do wedding vows renewal ceremonies, the captain makes an appearance (if you want) and their are professional photos taken. Something for you to think about. Congratulations anyway 🥂💐

Witzend I love that you had a regular office do

cc

Surely the pre-invite or "save the day" is intended to give the hosts some idea of how many guests are likely to be able to come?

No. I think it's exactly what it says - please save the date to spend it with us.
I'd assume details would come later.

If it was someone I was close to I'd block out the date for them - and travrl if they wanted me there.
If I wasn't so close I'd put the date in my calendar with a ❓️ and wait for the invite before deciding.

Reg office! Bloody auto-correct!

Allira

^Do vows wear out!^
Yes!
Especially the obey bit which I have always ignored.

Sorry that people haven't replied, Sarahr
Forget all that, go on a lovely holiday or cruise instead and ask the captain to renew your vows.

Was ‘obey’ part of the church ceremony when you got hitched? I’d thought it had been phased out quite a while ago. Though having said that, I can’t remember whether it was included at my sister’s church wedding in 1967. She was very much a traditionalist, though, so I dare say wouldn’t have objected.

No such thing, needless to say, at our regular office do in 74!

We’ve received 4 ‘save the date’ cards over the years, we didn’t reply to them, just stuck them on the fridge, a few months later we replied to the actual invite. In the meantime 2 weddings were cancelled as the couples had split up.
As we were friends with the people they knew we would go anyway.
We never looked to see if we should reply to these cards.

It is rude not to reply to any information. A reply should be sent within 2 weeks.

Lathyrus3

I think it’s rude not have replied.

But I don’t understand why you want people at your renewal of vows that you didn’t have to your wedding.

To be honest, I don’t really understand this whole renewal of vows thing anyway. Do vows wear out!

I don’t think I’d go to one, especially if I had to pay quite a bit for travel, accommodation and presumably a present too.

It just doesn’t feel like a special occasion to me. Maybe that’s their thinking too?

This.

and the party poopers here

Why is it being a party pooper to say that Sarahr and her DH should go on a lovely holiday or cruise instead?

TBH I think you have confused your guests - especially as so many people have not replied. That is just not normal. People are not being rude - they just didn't know that you were expecting a response and overlooked the RSVP.

I love a party and would definitely come if you invited me......
but I wouldn't respond to a 'save the date' pre-invitation. We have had a number of big parties over the years (50+ people). And everyone always seems to love getting together. I am happy to invest in accommodation and travel to see people. But I would say 'no gifts' to save people that expense/dilema. Tell their that their company is the best gift they can give.

I would probably keep the renewal of vows part more private - just close friends and family? But that depends on how it is happening (I have never been to one of these). And doesn't every one like a bit of romance?

People are not always great at responding - I generally expect people will turn up if they don't tell me otherwise. Late drop outs are usually balanced out by the ones who find they can come at the last minute.

I hope that this confusion - and the party poopers here ; ) - don't put you off and you have a brilliant celebration. Congratulations to getting to whatever milestone anniversary it is.

Would appreciate some feedback Sarahr!

Surely the pre-invite or "save the day" is intended to give the hosts some idea of how many guests are likely to be able to come?

I totally agree about the obey bit. I wish I hadn't agreed to it but we had a pushy vicar and I was naive. After 54 and a half years I still regret it and I certainly haven't kept that particular vow!

If it was a pre invite I also probably wouldn't have replied ...... i definitely wouldn't attend....just not my thing .....you would have to be my DM or my child before I would even osier attending wedding vows renewal.....spend the money on lovely holiday

I really don’t understand what you were asking. A ‘pre-invitation’ to me is a ‘save the date’, which doesn’t need a reply, and if you have the choice of 2 venues then you must be very far in advance of the event. So I wouldn’t have expected a reply at all. If you asked for a reply then it’s an invitation proper. Have you got to your reply deadline yet and was it clear that the responses would influence the choice of venue? Perhaps it wasn’t worded as clearly as you thought? In any case ring a few of the invitees you are particularly close to, who have not replied, and ask them if they thought your cards might have been misunderstood.

The concept of a ‘pre’ invitation is new to me and wonder whether whether the recipients might have been a bit confused about not getting a proper, definite invitation?

If I was worried about the number of people coming I think I’d probably have sounded out as many as possible informally by phone.

I agree with those who’ve advised ditching a big event and doing something special just for yourselves (with close family if you prefer).

No not at all unreasonable to expect a reply