Did you give your spouse a chance to correct before you file for divorce?

Thank you so much for the advice.

I want to give background so a clearer picture can be see.

His mom is actually very sick in the last 4 years, that in and out of hospital alot, and specialists and treatments.
She also need to be in medical facility and have nurses 24/7 care for her around the clock, and that cost money too.

This will be an ongoing thing until the day she die, insert how many more years she will live to from her treatments.

Even with insurance, there are Out of Pocket cost, and any Out of Network specialists you pay in full. Everytime she in the hospital is alot of medical bills.
And have her in medical facility with nurses care for her around the clock, it cost money too.

He cosign for ALL her treatments, and pay for her medical facility as well as nurses care for her. As well as everytime she in the hospital is he cosign the financial responsible party. The bills go to him for payments.

I cannot stress how expensive medical cost here in U.S (this might be different from UK). Everyday in the hosptal is money and money.

She was in the hospital from Dec 31st to Jan 23rd, that is 24 days stay in the hospital. We are ready for bills come to us. It just stressful.

As for sale the house it was my idea, I told him sale the house and use the house money to pay for his mom medical debt, and all her care. Because I know we will NOT have enough to continue this long term. But at least it last for some time.

It been 4 YEARS already, and WILL be ongoing treatments until the day she die.

I do not blame him for his remaining life pay for her treatments or medical bills. But I really don't want to be pull in this for the rest of my life.

I feel that it his responsibility for her, not me, she is not my biological mother. I already done my part of offer him sale the house and use all the money for her.

I do not feel that I owe him anything.

I feel that if he wants to continue the rest of his life like this, then be single. I did not sign up to financially support her medical treatments for the rest of my life.

I am sorry you are in this mess.
I would tell him you want a divorce so you can have a home.
If you still love him (inspite of the money and mother problem) you can still see each other and be "married" other than legally.

I think you need a home and sadly this is your best way to secure it.

Good luck.

You sound as if you are influenced by some sort of traditional family ethics that make you consider your mother in law 's welfare.

If you were a rich enough woman this would be a good thing to do. But you are not rich and likely to be really poor if you stick with your husband and his family.

America is not Mendeland, and you need to get divorced from your husband. See a solicitor with a view to divorce.

Financial infidelity can ruin your life. In my eyes it’s as bad a betrayal as romantic infidelity.

God-forbid something happens to your husband, that debt is yours for the rest of your life in the US.

If I were you, I’d legally divorce even if I wanted to work on the relationship itself. At 41, you still have time to salvage your future by getting away from his debt.

Here in the UK you don't have to divorce if you want finanical separation from your partner.

In my situation we had a legal finanical settlement to begin with in which my husband had to move out of the family home.

He took it to the wire and took the whole alloted six months before he left.

He then divorced me ten years later.

Don't allow him to make you homeless to pay his mother's debts. It has gone too far. Divorce him before he does you more harm. Good luck.

You are not responsible for his Mother. Sorry to say this, but he is not going to change. To protect what you have left financially divorce is the way to go.
I think the MIL may have mental health, but this is not your responsibility.

We have Posters from all over the world, and so you are welcome.
A marriage is between two people. His first loyalty should be to you.
In this circumstance, do the best thing for you.
Good luck.

I had to divorce in a co-ercive situation that involved severe MH.
You have to make decisions to survive. Divorce.

Point out that at this rate you'll all be homeless and penniless so it stops now or you divorce him. Your MIL sound mentally ill and needs help but she's not your responsibility.

All Grandmas are welcome.
I'd be inclined to leave the marriage.
It sounds like an impossible situation.
Wishing you luck.