Use of words and younger generation

You met two very rude and batty women I'm afraid. Don't let it bother you.

It does seem that way eddiecat78 new theories and ideas decry older methods. Never more evident than in the field of child care. Of course we move on and things change but never an excuse for rudeness or trying to belittle someone.
I don't remember the word naughty meaning anything at all sinister when applied to children, seems to have become a horror word now.
While I am on the subject of words I do find the term 'mental problems' particularly grating. A person may have problems with their mental health or have a mental illness. Think I should have taken this to Pedants Corner.

This whole thing is utter nonsense and the snowflakes need to grow up. I have a name and expect to be addressed by it, not by some daft ideological idea of neutrality.

Recently, a call centre employee reported me for "abuse". I used the word "flipping". Apparently, in South Africa, this is considered to be a swear word. Well, how on earth am I supposed to know that?

The activists/brainwashers have deffo taken over.

I would have no problem in respecting the younger generation's views if they respected ours. But they frequently don't.
Apparently they are always right and we are always wrong

While I respect those ladies’ personal views, it did come across as rude, and there’s no excuse for that.
Personally while I admit that I use it at times, I do find the word ‘naughty’ quite harsh. I seem to use ‘that’s not a nice thing to do’ more often. I think ‘good boy/girl’ is a really positive thing, and often you can see how proud the children are, and it encourages more of the same.
Times move on though, and I feel that parents’ wishes - if spoken politely- should be respected.
The lady with the take on ‘dark times’ just comes across as a bit daft!

Them, to me, implies there were two of the little.... rascals.

Doesn't the use of 'he" and 'she' indicate gender?
Post upthread.
You are not being unreasonable. She was rude.

It'll be easier not to engage with anyone, soon.
What a pity that will be.

I was always proud as punch if anyone commented ony girl's behaviour - it meant all the threats I'd given her had worked

From my training and experience working with early years children for the last 38 years:

To say to a young child that they are a "naughty child" is quite damning and exclusionary.
I would tell them their action/behaviour is unacceptable and we don't do that here do we, then help them apologise to whoever they may have hurt or upset, then find them something constructive to do.

As a child I was always in trouble, always being told off, often sent to bed in tears.
Rarely did I know what I was supposed to have done.

A friend of mine who went to a large family lunch in a restaurant was worried her 2 year old GD would find it too long to sit still. However, all went well until my friend told her GD what a good girl she had been. Her DD told my friend in no uncertain terms that telling her she had been good was inferring that at times she was naughty. Honestly, what a generation of nit pickers they are. They pick apart and analyse the simplest words and actions and make a big deal about it, leaving the poor person who made the innocent remark or action feeling bewildered and upset. The snowflake generation and their analytical, gentle parenting.! What on earth will these children be like when they have children of their own?

You could easily avoid gender by saying
Them
He or she .
People who do not want to specify their gender do not ask to be referred to as It.
For obvious reasons.
It denotes an inanimate item.
Not a person.

welbeck

You are being totally unreasonable to refer to a fellow human being as
it

No, not at all. Child protection, gender issues etc. I referred to the child as 'it' because I did not want to say specifically whether it was a boy or girl to protect its gender and also not to detract from the potential comments which may have become gender influenced. I could, of course, keep repeating the word 'child' which is a bit OTT, if you ask me! You are entitled to your opinion and I to mine!
'

I suppose we will soon be berated for saying Good boy, or Good girl.

I have my house on the market. A family came to view. Was it ok to bring the children inside?
"Ofcourse", says I.
The DC proceeded to burst into my pottery studio with frisbee and model aeroplane.
Neither the parent nor grandparent made any attempt to stop them running around and it was only when I directed them towards my DGC toys and then outside that they slowed down.
I'm definitely out of practice. 😲

I was in homebargains & this woman, usual, all lip fillers & eye lashes had her kids wish her. Well kids were FFing & blinding- must have been about 6/7 I looked at them, then looked at her.
She didn’t looked embarrassed at all.

You are being totally unreasonable to refer to a fellow human being as
it

SpinDriftCoastal

... I added that I still love them even when they are naughty. Well, all hell broke loose. She said she did not believe in the word 'naughty' and that children were disregulated

Oof! - I guess you were a bit taken aback by that?!

Are we though really condemning a child when we call them naughty or just pointing out to these pint-sized would-be anarchists that certain behaviours can't really be tolerated?

I think you can only negotiate with a young child so far. More than one child-rearing 'expert' has suggested that discipline is, for a child, also security because it creates a basic framework for them to make sense of the world.

Oh for goodness sake! How pompous! (The young woman, not OP🤣)
That said, I got pulled up for using the phrase «good babies» when I accompanied DD3 to an NCT picnic in the park. It was a lovely sunny day, happy young mums, some babies sleeping, some being nursed- a general air of contentment.
When I commented on the «good babies» I was told there was no such thing as a bad baby so I shouldn’t say that.
Hands up anybody else who, like me and I expect most of my generation, who think that to describe a baby as good means contented, possibly placid but generally happy and healthy!
I’ll keep my opinions to myself in future!

While you are going through the dark (=bad) times they are not beautiful - in fact they can be be very ugly and bruise your soul. I don't think the young woman has actually experienced anything all that traumatic if she can regard it all as a beautiful learning experience.

If someone said that to me (and if I was quick-thinking enough to come back at them) I would tell her a few of the "dark times", suitably camouflaged if they were private, and ask her just what was beautiful about them at the time Maybe when looked back on, they do point out a painful lesson, just as one definition of poetry is "emotion recollected in tranquillity", but while you are going through them, bad times are BAD.

People who only espouse the latest meaning of a word miss understanding a lot of what those who speak an older language have experienced. No wonder history gets mangled, and aliens get the credit for so much of the ingenious inventiveness and skill of homo sapiens..

Our so sons best friend and wife have to children who are brought with zero rules and regulations, if they decide they don’t want to go to school they don’t, if they don’t want to sit at a table and eat they don’t etc.

Our son still goes to stay with them as he is so close to his friend, our DIL refuses to go as she says the home is chaos and the children are ill mannered little ………!

If they just shared their views with you that’s fine, but being rude to you, in front of their children, isn’t.

They could have corrected you nicely rather than let loose a diatribe.

Doodledog

Things do work both ways, and the women concerned may be posting somewhere about an older woman who used terms like 'naughty' and 'dark' as negatives.

I don't think there is a need to correct strangers' use of language (outside of extremes) but times change, and some of the words used by my grandparents' generation are entirely unacceptable now (IMO rightly).

I would forget about it, SpinDriftCoastal. It's just different perspectives, I think.

Yes, I agree with you. And an interesting perspective. I had not thought of the use of negatives. Re: grandparents I remember the use of some words which would make us cringe now and also some of the words used in literature of the first half of the 20th century. As they say, language is a living entity and maybe those young women will be corrected in decades to come by the next generation.

Things do work both ways, and the women concerned may be posting somewhere about an older woman who used terms like 'naughty' and 'dark' as negatives.

I don't think there is a need to correct strangers' use of language (outside of extremes) but times change, and some of the words used by my grandparents' generation are entirely unacceptable now (IMO rightly).

I would forget about it, SpinDriftCoastal. It's just different perspectives, I think.

Thankfully, in real life I dont come across the op situation much.

But even then, I have just about had enough of that type of thing.
I am ready to turn things around[assuming I can think quick enough].
I am ready to say, "well I dont think much of your attitude" or something like that. "things can work both ways".