Use of words and younger generation

I have my house on the market. A family came to view. Was it ok to bring the children inside?
"Ofcourse", says I.
The DC proceeded to burst into my pottery studio with frisbee and model aeroplane.
Neither the parent nor grandparent made any attempt to stop them running around and it was only when I directed them towards my DGC toys and then outside that they slowed down.
I'm definitely out of practice. 😲

I was in homebargains & this woman, usual, all lip fillers & eye lashes had her kids wish her. Well kids were FFing & blinding- must have been about 6/7 I looked at them, then looked at her.
She didn’t looked embarrassed at all.

You are being totally unreasonable to refer to a fellow human being as
it

SpinDriftCoastal

... I added that I still love them even when they are naughty. Well, all hell broke loose. She said she did not believe in the word 'naughty' and that children were disregulated

Oof! - I guess you were a bit taken aback by that?!

Are we though really condemning a child when we call them naughty or just pointing out to these pint-sized would-be anarchists that certain behaviours can't really be tolerated?

I think you can only negotiate with a young child so far. More than one child-rearing 'expert' has suggested that discipline is, for a child, also security because it creates a basic framework for them to make sense of the world.

Oh for goodness sake! How pompous! (The young woman, not OP🤣)
That said, I got pulled up for using the phrase «good babies» when I accompanied DD3 to an NCT picnic in the park. It was a lovely sunny day, happy young mums, some babies sleeping, some being nursed- a general air of contentment.
When I commented on the «good babies» I was told there was no such thing as a bad baby so I shouldn’t say that.
Hands up anybody else who, like me and I expect most of my generation, who think that to describe a baby as good means contented, possibly placid but generally happy and healthy!
I’ll keep my opinions to myself in future!

While you are going through the dark (=bad) times they are not beautiful - in fact they can be be very ugly and bruise your soul. I don't think the young woman has actually experienced anything all that traumatic if she can regard it all as a beautiful learning experience.

If someone said that to me (and if I was quick-thinking enough to come back at them) I would tell her a few of the "dark times", suitably camouflaged if they were private, and ask her just what was beautiful about them at the time Maybe when looked back on, they do point out a painful lesson, just as one definition of poetry is "emotion recollected in tranquillity", but while you are going through them, bad times are BAD.

People who only espouse the latest meaning of a word miss understanding a lot of what those who speak an older language have experienced. No wonder history gets mangled, and aliens get the credit for so much of the ingenious inventiveness and skill of homo sapiens..

Our so sons best friend and wife have to children who are brought with zero rules and regulations, if they decide they don’t want to go to school they don’t, if they don’t want to sit at a table and eat they don’t etc.

Our son still goes to stay with them as he is so close to his friend, our DIL refuses to go as she says the home is chaos and the children are ill mannered little ………!

If they just shared their views with you that’s fine, but being rude to you, in front of their children, isn’t.

They could have corrected you nicely rather than let loose a diatribe.

Doodledog

Things do work both ways, and the women concerned may be posting somewhere about an older woman who used terms like 'naughty' and 'dark' as negatives.

I don't think there is a need to correct strangers' use of language (outside of extremes) but times change, and some of the words used by my grandparents' generation are entirely unacceptable now (IMO rightly).

I would forget about it, SpinDriftCoastal. It's just different perspectives, I think.

Yes, I agree with you. And an interesting perspective. I had not thought of the use of negatives. Re: grandparents I remember the use of some words which would make us cringe now and also some of the words used in literature of the first half of the 20th century. As they say, language is a living entity and maybe those young women will be corrected in decades to come by the next generation.

Things do work both ways, and the women concerned may be posting somewhere about an older woman who used terms like 'naughty' and 'dark' as negatives.

I don't think there is a need to correct strangers' use of language (outside of extremes) but times change, and some of the words used by my grandparents' generation are entirely unacceptable now (IMO rightly).

I would forget about it, SpinDriftCoastal. It's just different perspectives, I think.

Thankfully, in real life I dont come across the op situation much.

But even then, I have just about had enough of that type of thing.
I am ready to turn things around[assuming I can think quick enough].
I am ready to say, "well I dont think much of your attitude" or something like that. "things can work both ways".

You are not being unreasonable SpinDriftCoastal. It would seem that certain younger people are ultra sensitive and looking for a chance to react to ‘words’ and to strongly voice their personal opinions. Nothing wrong with the words ‘naughty’ and ‘dark’. 🙄

I wonder if the second woman, while experiencing “dark” times in her life, looked upon them as a beautiful experience and was learning from them. How odd. As for naughty, well she can call it disregulated if she chooses to, it’s just a different adjective and I think she was being a bit pompous.

No, not changing vocabulary, more that some parents believe in never condemning their children for their actions, as in 'we never tell him what to so, we always negotiate' as a parent told the Reception teacher when the child refused to join the class to go into the Hall, or the father whose tiresome elder son was attacking his younger brother; he squatted down in the middle of the bookshop blocking access to the bookshelves behind, and cuddled the bully then told him to breathe deeply, that's right, in and out until you feel better, I know you didn't mean to hurt him.

What rude young women you have encountered. Weird with it. I haven’t come across anything like it and if I did I would probably get very huffy. They both sound as though they have mental problems.

language is always changing and meaning of words do so also.
So words like 'Cool', 'Gay', etc have changed their meaning, so why not others?

I am now in my 80's, but can remember my Dad saying that at times he thought I was using a foreign language when I was in my teens.

When you watch QI, they often show many words that have completely died out of our language. They get a laugh out of their panels trying to work out what they ever meant.

Nothing confused about it - just the way of language development and change.

How rude and ridiculous that young woman was! Spindrift
Sounds like she is the one with the confused attitude, not you.

What I hate is the use of the F word by all and sundry. I still cringe when I hear it not only on buses and the street but by young parents and on the radio.

Umm. I don’t think you are being unreasonable. Just seeing and saying things how they were for you and others see and say the same.