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Why home matters

(16 Posts)
CariGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 23-Aug-12 12:01:09

Writer Angela Neustatter's book on the home and working mums led her to be dubbed a turncoat feminist. Read our latest guest blog post and let us know about your definition of home - and whether you agree with her views.

Greatnan Thu 23-Aug-12 12:11:41

I felt it was written by, for and about middle class women. Most shop assistants are not working because they want to prove anything - they just need the wages.

janeainsworth Thu 23-Aug-12 17:32:22

I haven't read her book, only the blog.
I don't really understand your comment about shop assistants, Greatnan.
Being middle-class and a shop assistant are not mutually exclusive.
I agree with her that a home should be a place where children feel loved, nurtured and can thrive.
Are you saying that only middle class women are under such pressure when they go out to work that their children miss out, or that middle class women can afford to work less and it is shop assistants' children who miss out?confused

JO4 Thu 23-Aug-12 17:40:34

Oh tell us something new for God's sake. Do you really think we have reached our sixties/seventies without realising that home is very important. hmm

Greatnan Thu 23-Aug-12 17:41:44

No, I am clearly not saying any of those things. I don't think most shop assistants had the job in mind for a career. In fact, all the statistics show that people in less powerful positions suffer the most stress at work as they feel they have no control over their lives. It is, of course, highly likely that people in low paid jobs are unable to afford as much help with chores and child care.
If it makes you feel better, substitute dinner ladies or any other low paid job for shop assistant.
(I am amazed that a casual choice of a single word could give rise to so much interpretation!)

JO4 Thu 23-Aug-12 17:46:00

Tell the government. They want all women back at work and paying taxes.

JO4 Thu 23-Aug-12 17:49:57

Some women have to go out to work, to make ends meet. They are the ones who are likely to be the shop assistants, dinner ladies, etc.

This is some posh woman who had a go at making a career for herself, for herself - not for her children's sake - and has now found it too difficult. So guess what? Out comes a book saying how important home is - probably the most important thing in a family's world.

No shit sherlock.

Greatnan Thu 23-Aug-12 17:52:11

Jingle - I agree with you absolutely!

janeainsworth Thu 23-Aug-12 17:59:42

Sorry Greatnan and JO4.
Many professional women have to work for the money too.
And nothing will convince me that a shop assistant's or dinner lady's working life is as stressful and that of a teacher, nurse or social worker.

JO4 Thu 23-Aug-12 18:07:21

I wasn't comparing stress content of jobs.

I know exactly how stressful a teacher's job is.

I was commenting on the blog in question.

janeainsworth Thu 23-Aug-12 18:31:23

I know you weren't comparing stress levels JO4.
Greatnan was.

Harrikat Tue 28-Aug-12 15:19:15

In my view, feminism is about equal opportunities.
Women should have the same chance to work or stay at home & look after their children as men do.
Shouldn't we be demanding that governments enable families to live on one wage? You may say that's cloud cuckoo land, but it shouldn't be!

Annika Tue 28-Aug-12 16:34:46

When I was bring up my three children and holding down a part time job as well as looking after my mother and then my dad I didn't have time to think about feminism let alone read a book about it and I would think its the same for working mums now.
Women are dammed if they work and dammed if they don't . I haven't read the book but I have read the blog and as far as I can see she is saying nothing new. Any woman with half a brain knows how the land lies they don't need a book to tell them, what they do need is for their partner to be able to bring home a living wage so that they can both decide together if 'mum' goes out to work or not.

nanaej Sun 02-Sep-12 22:53:07

If you make a choice to have a child you need to think how you are best going to care for it.
For some people that 'best' is for a parent to stay at home and care for the child even if it means some things have to be sacrificed, for others it is to work either because they have to to keep a roof over the family's head &/or to maintain a career in the long term.
I thought all that she was saying is that, what ever route was taken, in the current, faster pace of life/ work demands & pressures that parents need to make a more conscious effort to maintain a nurturing family life and make 'home' a timeout from the hustle and bustle of work /school etc. JO4 I am sure like me you have known parents so wrapped up in their working lives that kids /partners too often take second place or lower on the priority list..even at home.

nanaej Sun 02-Sep-12 22:58:23

Just re read my post and really all I needed to say was: I think the blog is saying:

If you value home and family & keep it your top priority and pay it attention then life overall will be better for you. Does not matter if you work or not!

Nanadogsbody Sun 02-Sep-12 23:02:57

annika spot on.