How to survive village life.

We spent two years looking for " our village house" it has been hell. Most of the neighbours are dreadful people. Only my immediate neighbour is nice. We take turns at cleaning up the dog mess thrown daily into our front gardens. It reminds me of the York Moors bit in Werewolf in London. We stay in at night with doors locked and shotgun near to hand. Anyone want to buy my house or my neighbours both have just gone on the market.We have lost money moving here but cannot stay.

It sounds lovely Galen.

I live in a large town, but the country is only half a mile away. And I'm on the edge of the Bristol Channel so I have sea views from every room (except the bathroom and downstairs loo)

absent tin ear is probably correct but the attitude that nothing is better outside London was fairly common. If they haven't been to the other places how can they possibly judge? Symphony Hall is acknowledged to be the best in Europe and has panels that are moved to accommodate the type of concert being performed. It really is far better than anything in London and, no, I'm not from Birmingham but I have been to concerts there and in London venues too!

I live in the country, surrounded by woods and fields, miles away from the nearest shops and I love it here. BUT I also thoroughly enjoy my regular trips to London, where I lived for several years in the mid 60s. Both places have their attractions and also their disadvantages and I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to spend time in both the countryside and London too

Nonnie Any regular concert-goer in London is fully aware that the Albert Hall's acoustics are truly dreadful, even after the addition of the "mushrooms" all those years ago. However, there are lots of other venues of various sizes where the acoustics are fine. Perhaps the person you spoke to had a tin ear in the first place.

Eloethan I could say exactly the same about living outside London, how come so many of them move here and don't want to go back!

Both times we moved to London we met all sorts of prejudice against people from anywhere they considered 'north', like Banbury and Gloucester! The first time we left I got a call from someone who was being asked to move to Newcastle on Tyne to ask me what it was like simply because it was 'north' so must be near me!

We found that some Londoners thought they were better than people who lived in other places simply because they lived in the capital. I failed to convince people that Symphony Hall had better acoustics than The Albert Hall. I had been to both but they hadn't. Balti invented in Brum, no that cannot be etc. certainly some Londoners were very blinkered. Maybe it has all changed in the last 8 years?

Now which bit of London doesn't have light pollution? I doubt if there is any city in this country without it.

I can only talk about my own experiences but we did experience a fair amount of prejudice from people who had only lived in London. Those who had been to university in other parts of the country or worked elsewhere seemed to be much more open minded.

Having lived in cities and in the countryside, I prefer the countryside every time.

just joined - this a great thread. I guess one of the benefits of village life is that you have time to spend on talking about it. In the nicest possible way, of course

Nonnie People can feel proud and protective of the area in which they live. Earlier in the thread there were several quite negative comments about London. It is natural for Londoners to respond.

We tend to get these sorts of comments from people who live in more rural locations. I can't count the number of times I've struck up conversations with people who, when I reply "London" in answer to a question about where I live, say things like: "Oh, poor you, I hate it there - it's so busy/dirty/unfriendly/too many foreigners", etc. etc.

If it's so awful, how come so many people from all over the country have moved here - and don't move back again.

Different areas, different attitude to incomers I think. We were made very welcome when we moved to Suffolk and then Norfolk but a different kettle of eels when we moved near Ely. Not the friendliest of people until you get to know them.

When we go back to the Isle of Wight we are treated as though we've never left.

Incomers should be aware that, actually, the residents don't necessarily 'need' you. They all have their own circle of friends, chums, interests and expectations. You have to tread carefully. However, these worthy villagers must also remember when they first came to the village they were also subject to the same challengers. A case of ein wenig Verständnis, a little understanding.

Oh Nonnie, just go back and reread your first paragraph where you made some blatting assumptions about Londoners.

I'm really happy for you that you are content in your little place with no light pollution, intolerance in shops and shoving on the trains and buses. Oddly enough I don't have these either.

What a silly argument; each to her own, but those up thread who were just the teensiest bit dismissive about London should really try to get out more and learn to live, love and open their hearts.

Don't go to work and leave your labradoodle barking its head off all day.
Don't hang wind chimes.... anywhere!
Don't install a security light where it will blind your neighbour every time he walks up his garden path.
If you have children, don't be surprised if your neighbours complain because your idea of a fun on a drunken Sunday afternoon is making a fool of yourself on the trampoline.
Don't have a trampoline - a ghastly eyesore - unless you can conceal it in a garden 'room' like Monty Don.
Learn to love your wheelie bins. You may have to lug them over miles of potholed shared access.
Remember your postman/woman has the power to make your life a misery in the run up to Christmas. They don't drive the long way round the village, missing your house every day just because they have no sense of direction!

If I can add to Elegrans list ............

Do not think it is fine to move a fence and re-erect it in your neighbours garden in order to make your garden bigger.

Do not put plants "liberated" from neighbours garden into yours after moving fence.

Do not steal, and then damage beyond repair a mile post so that "I will always know how far I am from N......."

Do not steal wood which does not belong to you just because it was laid in a field.

My "middle class" neighbour has done all of the above and wonders why he is not well liked !!!

Micelf sorry, don't understand why you think I made assumptions?

I actually did live in a 'white ghetto' on the edge of London! I don't now and among my friends are people from most ethnic groups, the only one I can think of not included for some reason is Chinese.

I feel privileged to live here, much more so than when I lived in London. We have a great deal of cultural activity in or near where we live. Last night we were at the theatre and will be again tonight. Many of our productions end up in the West end. Not far away we have museums and art galleries and then of course we can go to Birmingham for Symphony Hall and the wonderful canals. Some of the best things are not actually in London. We have things like our maize maze, our steam rallies, our heritage trains and, of course our lovely country pubs.

We don't have traffic jams, intolerance in the shops or people pushing and shoving on the trains and buses. We have lovely clean air to breath and no light pollution at night.

I could go on and on about all the things I like about living here but I won't, each to his own. Those who like living in cities are welcome to it but please don't imply it is somehow better than living in the countryside.

Why is it that I keep calling Midsomer Murders to mind?

I'm getting more and more tempted to write a blog myself. Just got to work out how.......

Good article, Grumps15. Our local has just changed hands and of course the rumours are all about it being turned into a gastropub. Ha Ha!
This is the Fens not the Thames. We shall see

How to survive village life or Rural wannabes are killing our countryside!

www.spectator.co.uk/features/7877873/paving-paradise/

The only grandchildren belonging to a child who still talks to me live in a Glasgow tenement. It's very cold there and nothing like a village. I do now live in what is technically a village, but realistically a suburb. Since becoming unemployed I have become involved in a variety of groups, most of them in the city. I feel that's the important part - getting involved. Not so much where the groups are.

We moved to a Lincolnshire village 6 years ago, in that time I am now involved with;
Member of the local WI group,
Help with the lunch club on Wednesdays (this takes up most of the day!!)
Member of the Ladies section on the Royal British Legion,
Secretary of the village choir,
play in the church band,
tonight I have had a phone call asking if I would like to join the hand bell ringing group.
I only have to sneeze and someone in village will know and I will receive a phone call asking me if I am ill/getting better etc.
Like Brendawymms the broad band connection is rubbish - watching paint drying is quicker.
The mobile phone signal is iffy especially if you are near an airbase,
When ever you want to get somewhere on time - there is always a tractor in front of you.
The nearest motorway is at least 1 1/2 hours away.
We don't have many buses.
However the local vegetables are amazing and very cheap, we don't have noisy neighbours unless you count owls and other wildlife, and we don't have any street lights so the night sky can be fantastic.
Would I go back to being a townie - no way!!

Compromise in my case - big village which has now renamed itself as a town - ie it has a mayor! Plenty going on, but my life seems to revolve around various U3A and NWR activities. Previously lived in a village in Norfolk where the main hazards were beet falling off the back of tractors into the path of your car and smoke from burning fields during August, before this was forbidden in 1993. Natives and incomers viewed one another with some suspicion but rubbed along quite well on the whole.

Nice one River. But if you are prepared to go a little bit east and a little bit south you'll get a smashing three bed house, and very interesting neighbours. And, as Gadabout says, foxes galore, owls, kestrels and lots of gorgeous puss cats popping in to say hello.

Our shops stay open at lunchtime - you know, to do business.

Nothing for that price but for a bit more you can have this lovely underground parking space

for sale, great location

Says it's big enough for a Rolls, so your tractor might be a bit of a snug fit

- and don't forget the foxes having their daily walk down the railway line. And I didn't see stags rutting until I did my London childcare & discovered Bushy & Richmond Parks.
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Since when did giving another view become 'being defensive'? Different places, different stages - and villages can be very different. When I was once a community worker in rural Somerset - some villages were well balanced, accepting & vibrant communities while others were full of factions & in-fighting from which it was difficult to escape. Our village was a dynamic ex-colliery village & we had Mr Gad who skilfully kept the peace as Chair of the Parish Council & I set up all kinds of things. But lorries thundering through the village were not good & the village school left a lot to be desired.