Although I am sure Ms McCombie is lovely! (she adds hastily)
Is there such a thing as delicious ready meals?
Shall we reboot our cartoons thread again? 😁
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SubscribeA motto on a corny plastic fridge magnet sums up children's author Karen McCombie's outlook on life; "You're only here a wee while, so be nice." It's got her thinking how to get that same (non-corny) message across to the junior generation…
I was eleven, had just started secondary school and was getting used to the giddy notion of having my own set of keys and letting myself into our fifteenth-floor flat. One day my mum arrived home shortly after me, beaming with pride. An older lady neighbour had just told her I was "an absolute angel", and many other neighbours apparently agreed.
What had I done that was so special? Foiled a bag-snatching thief or something equally dramatic and impressive? Nope, my angelic powers were much more everyday… When I was in the lift with that lady - or any of my neighbours - I smiled. I said hello. I chatted a little bit.
Realising that doing something so simple could have such a positive effect astonished me back then. But it's something I've carried with me throughout my life, and enjoy the response I get (bar the odd blank look from the odd person - their loss!).
So how could you get the "it's nice to be nice" message across to the grandkids? Well, I've sold the idea to my own eleven-year-old daughter by writing these top tips for being an "Everyday Angel"…
Realising that doing something so simple could have such a positive effect astonished me back then.
Smile, please!
Even if you're nervous or shy, even if you're not sure what to say, just smile. It's the easiest way to seem friendly, and could really brighten someone's day. By the way, it works on dogs too; try it next time you see one on the street!
The power of hello, please and thank you.
As a child, adults will regularly ignore you, or even see you as a pest (don't be offended - it's not just you, it's every kid). But in your dealings with them, add a polite and clear "hello", "please" or "thank you". It will be noted. You will stop being invisible. And you might end up changing their opinions of all kids, not just you.
Say it, don’t think it!
You notice that a girl in your street has cool new shoes. Or a boy in class you don't usually talk to has done a really amazing drawing. Maybe your gran has a great new haircut. Well, don't just think it - say it! Compliments are like presents; they're SO appreciated. And they could make you new friends.
Be cross, but not for long.
Someone's been mean to you. It sucks and you're cross, naturally. But shake it off as quickly as you can, and get back to your normal, nice self. Everyone will see that the meanie didn't win. You did.
Imagine you're them.
You know your own feelings. But what about other people's? If someone's acting weird/stupid/shy/over-the-top, is there a reason? Before you react, take a second to figure out what might be going on with them. The biggest kindness you can bestow on a person is to see things from their point of view.
So those are my child-appropriate niceness tips. But re-reading them now, I'm wondering if I shouldn't wiggle them under the noses of a few adults I know!
We have three copies of Karen's new book Angels Next Door to give away to people who post on the thread.
By Karen McCombie
Twitter: @KarenMcCombie
Although I am sure Ms McCombie is lovely! (she adds hastily)
Of course, you never know what these people are really like. It's one thing to slap a false grin on your chops to sell a book...
I am sure they will enjoy it when they are old enough.
PS a really good present for my grandchildren
I'm a bit late on here and not posting to win copy of the book, as I am oredering today for myself--Just wanted to say that reading this post by Karen The Author, took me back to my own childhood, I was a little like that and it did make a difference and I used to get people saying stuff to my Dad about how polite I was, and it was nice. Un fortunatley as I got older and stress's piled up there were more urgent things to attend to,like surviving.
But I totaly agree with Karen in all that she has said, I am buying the book because I think Karen and reading the book can teach me a thing or two about getting back to the person I used to be, when I had time to think of others in that way.
The thing that Karen has quoted that has helped me the most is this quote
Imagine you're them.
You know your own feelings. But what about other people's? If someone's acting weird/stupid/shy/over-the-top, is there a reason? Before you react, take a second to figure out what might be going on with them. The biggest kindness you can bestow on a person is to see things from their point of view.
I think that is amazing advice, just goes to show and proves the saying that you are never too old to learn something and thinking that you are keeps you ignorant.
Well done to you Karen and best wishes with the book, you have one new customer in me if nothing else
As a child I had very little confidence but soon learned that a smile helped greatly, so much so I was always the one stopped in the street to be asked the time or for directions,etc. My daughter has the same friendly face so much so that people make a bee line to sit next to her on a bus or stand next to her in a queue. She says she has got to know lots of people with her 'moon face' as she calls it.
I have mixed feelings about this.
I don't like being 'preached at' either but it does no harm to be reminded to be nice. Personally, I have to keep reminding myself about it, because if I'm feeling low, anxious or in one of my envious states, which happens all to often these days, making other people happy is the last thing on my mind. I realise that I am being extremely selfish and it helps sometimes to remind myself to think of others. So I do try to remember to smile at people I meet and chat to people on buses or in shops now and then. But I probably come over generally as a MOG (Miserable Old Git)
However, I am amazed at how kind, thoughtful, considerate and un-judgemental both our DDs are, considering the mother they've got.... - they put me to shame, and I would certainly hope our little GD will be as thoughtful and kind as her lovely mother and aunt.
Of course we should all try to be polite and sociable to an extent, but it's an easy slide from "it's nice to be nice" to "it's ruddy irritating to be nice all the time".
I've sat through the horror that is "Annie: the musical". Anybody else with me in wanting to throttle that chirpy, cheery child mid-song?
Last night my DH and were getting out of our car and there were a lot of rather noisy teenagers about. A group came right by us and could have been menacing but I just smiled at the nearest one and she smiled back. I often find that older people seem to expect youngsters to be unpleasant but they are often just wary of us I think.
A tad over-egged perhaps
Sorry, finger slipped!
I was always taught by my father (a country boy) to talk gently to dogs and other animals - they may not understand but they pick up your tone of voice. If we pass cows with calves (always a bit dodgy) I try to give them a wide berth and tell them gently what a beautiful baby they have. It seems to work!
I was always taught by my father (a country boy) to talk gently to dogs and other animals - they may not understand but they pick up your tone of voice. If we pass cows with calves (always a bit dodgy) I try to give them a wide berth and tell them gently what a beautiful baby they have. It seems to work!
I was always taught by my father (a country boy) to talk gently to dogs and other animals - they may not understand but they pick up your tone of voice. If we pass cows with calves (always a bit dodgy) I try to give them a wide berth and tell them gently what a beautiful baby they have. It seems to work!
I was always taught by my father (a country boy) to talk gently to dogs and other animals - they may not understand but they pick up your tone of voice. If we pass cows with calves (always a bit dodgy) I try to give them a wide berth and tell them gently what a beautiful baby they have. It seems to work!
Just to be clear - the sarcasm I referred to was absent's, no one else's!
Re the smiling at dogs being dodgy - I smile at dogs, teeth and all, and they understand I'm just being friendly - perhaps because I keep my ears flat!
ABsent, I think NZ suits you , as I remarked some time ago it is good to be with family.
That is not a sarky remark by the way.
No, sarcasm doesn't count, absent!
So nice to get a little pat on the head from my superiors.
"Splutter"
Perhaps NZ is a good nurturing ground for a Sense of Humour!
absent that was actually quite funny.
Well done.
gillybob No I haven't heard of Earth Angels – except in a song by the Temptations – but I have heard of unicorns, pixies and ogres.
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