There's ageism, and then there's sexism - put them both together and you get a particularly noxious mix, says Helen Walmsley-Johnson, aka The Guardian's Invisible Woman.
Suffering sexist abuse, or discrimination that a younger woman wouldn't be subjected to can only be described as sexist ageism, and looking the other way isn't doing anyone any favours.
Most days in summer, my walk around Greenwich Park is one of the great treats of my freelance life. The views! The river! There's the Observatory, the Naval College, other people's dogs and of course, the park itself. Today was different.
As I swung out of the park gates and into Greenwich itself two young men tucked in behind me, one of them riding a bike. They were loud in the way that young lads are. This was irritating but not the end of the world. Although the street was crowded with tourists they insisted on riding the bike on the pavement. They were riding just a little too close in a way that made me feel uncomfortable - I haven't liked people behind me since I was mugged in a car park in 1976 (these things stay with you). It slowly dawned on me that what they were saying was meant for me to hear - they were talking about me, ripping the piss out of my brisk walk, calling me a "juggernaut" and howling with fake laughter. Unpleasant, but again not worth raising my blood pressure over.
Then I spent 10 minutes listening to them assessing the group of uniformed school girls we'd just passed on the basis of "yeah, I'd screw her" or not. By the time we reached the Cutty Sark I'd had enough and so I stepped aside and insisted they pass, suggesting as they did that they might keep their sexist remarks to themselves in future. Now it's one thing to be called "a rancid old c**t" on twitter but quite another to have someone yelling it in your face in a spittle-flecked rant which included the opinion that they didn't mind being accused of sexism by a real woman (doubtful) but not by "some dried up old geezer". Nice.
There is ageism, which inclines towards a benign "oh, are you still here?" amnesia about older generations and then there is sexism, which is not benign.
Maybe I asked for it. Perhaps I should have ignored them altogether and perhaps I would have if I hadn't been so angry on behalf of the schoolgirls (and indirectly my own daughters and granddaughters). But then, why should I? Why is it alright for two lads to offend dozens of men, women and children on a sunny June morning? Why is it okay for them to stand in a crowded square and hurl vile abuse at me for politely asking them to stop? And why did everyone who turned to look then look away and pretend nothing was wrong?
There is ageism, which inclines toward a benign "oh, are you still here?" amnesia about older generations and then there is sexism, which is not benign. You put the two together and you get a particularly noxious mix - sexist ageism. This is what is experienced by mouthy middle aged feminists who have the nerve to express an opinion in public, or the 50-something woman who applies for a front of house job and is ruled out for no reason other than her age. It's what I'd call an advertisement requesting a PA "with previous model experience". I'm often told it doesn't exist, but usually by people who have been thus far untroubled by competing in the open job market or have never had to convince anyone that their opinions still matter and their experience still has worth.
There is a dangerous inclination amongst my generation to take the view that because they aren't personally experiencing it then, ergo, there's no such thing, that it's been made up to frighten us. By saying nothing and doing nothing we are condoning it and colluding in its progression, just as by turning their backs the people by the Cutty Sark this morning were condoning two strapping great lads publicly abusing a tiny 58-year-old woman. Yes, it upset me but no, I won't be bullied into shutting up about something that is so wrong, and nor should any of us.
