Online Dating is no longer sneered at, thank goodness, and is no longer thought of as the refuge of the "desperate". Millions of people the world over are seeking, and finding, a partner on the internet, so there should be no awkwardness about admitting that you have joined an online dating site. I do not profess to have all the answers - I have not found my own perfect partner yet - but through researching my book on the subject, I gained some invaluable insight into this brave new world. So if you are thinking of taking the plunge, here are some of my top tips for how not to do it - hopefully ensuring that you will get the best (and not the worst) out of the world of online dating.

1. Don't pretend to be someone you are not - if you would like to be loved for who you really are, be yourself!

In some ways we feel more relaxed as we get older but we have vulnerabilities, too. Don’t let your fear of rejection allow you to put on an act. You are exactly the person someone out there is looking for and they will appreciate you for yourself. Besides, it is hard work keeping up a front. Just relax, you will enjoy it more.

2. Don’t rush in - we may be "getting on" but this is not eBay!

I am an older woman, 68 this year, and I sympathise with the feeling that the clock is ticking but my tip, to take your time, is one of the more important pieces of advice I can offer. When on a dating site, you are not on eBay!

There is no time limit on any contacts you receive and you would be wise to consider carefully all the approaches made to you. Anyone genuine will be prepared to wait.

3. Do not be embarrassed – millions of people all over the world date online.

It is actually quite a trendy thing to do and, providing we all follow the

safety guidelines (found on most sites), there is no more risk involved than in any other form of dating.

4. Do not pussyfoot about, as my grandmother used to say!

Do not mislead or be un-clear, and watch for clues that might indicate you are being misled.

5. Don’t lie!

We are all still 21 in our heads but look in the mirror and at recent photographs and be honest. Would George Clooney be stopped in his tracks? If the answer is: "Possibly not" then set your sights at a more realistic level. That is not to say there are no attractive men online or that
the attractive ones are the worthwhile ones. By the time we pass 50, most of us want more than good looks but neither do we have to settle for someone we find un-attractive.

6. Don't expect the impossible.

Do not expect prospective partners to be perfect, we are all a little older. Please be courteous - a request to know you is a compliment, even if you are not interested; after all, everyone on a dating site is simply looking for someone in their life, just as you are. A clear but polite refusal is all that is required, never ignore a contact, acknowledge all communications.

7. Don't assume it's risk-free - a dating site, even a paid membership and reputable one, can have its dangers.

Although dating sites are monitored, that will not protect you. Safety guidelines available on most sites will help.

8. Don't feel pressured to respond - stand your ground.

9. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Once you have made a decision, stick to it. Some people online can be persistent. If you no longer wish to communicate with someone - say so. But please be polite. If they continue to pester you, the site administrators will deal with them.

10. Don’t assume sex is safe over 50

Many divorces are taking place among the over 50s and, as we get older, the chance of one partner pre-deceasing the other increases. Finding yourself alone later in life is difficult and confusing, even when it is from choice, and sex can be mistaken for love. Prevention of pregnancy is not the only reason to use a condom and sexually transmitted diseases among the over 50s are on the increase.

10. Don’t be impatient - your perfect partner will not appear overnight, nothing worth having ever does.

It is not easy to take your time when you feel as though it is marching on, but taking the first offer you get is not a good idea. Loneliness is not a happy state for human beings and we try to put an end to it as quickly as we can, but my advice would be to hold out for what you want. Do not settle for a relationship that will only end your solitary state - aim for happiness! You are not past feeling joy. Having a spring in your step (and a twinkle in your eye!) will melt away the years and give you a future you will be glad you waited for.

My couple of years’ research have been fun and I have met some delightful people, but not that special one. I long to have a love-interest in my life so I am determined to keep on searching for my dream man, although with fingers crossed - but that could be my arthritis!

Margaret's book Pulling in the 21st Century is available from Amazon in e-book form.