A colleague of mine was recalling being left at boarding prep school and sobbing her eyes out, then told me about her own son doing the same but still dragging him back at the start of term. Odd. Meant to make a 'man' of him, but going by the ex boarding school chaps that I went out with, there is definitely something missing, they are too self sufficient, too self contained. Married a nice gentle helpless state pupil instead.

I think the most chilling thing in the documentary was one father who was reminiscing about his own experience of boarding school, who said he remembered one boy who had hated it so much that his parents had had to have him sedated to bring him back at the start of the school term. Hopefully that would never happen nowadays, but it made my blood run cold.

inishowen caning was routine in my state primary school too, for similar 'offences'. I think this affected not only those who suffered it.
Like you going to secondary school where there was no corporal punishment was a revelation.

Boarding schools have their place when parents are travelling around with the forces or perhaps are working in dangerous places as medics or similar, but otherwise I fail to see why one would do it. I had an extraordinary conversation with the wife of one of the partners where I used to work; I was about to go on maternity leave and as usual was getting all sorts of advice. She told me how they didnt know what a night's sleep was until their daughter was 7, When I asked what happened at 7 to stop her getting up in the night, she looked at me aghast and said ' she went to school!' surprised that I had to ask.

Saraband That is really dreadful.

The RNIB "sunshine homes for blind babies" used to take blind children from the age of two or three. I had a colleague who went through that system and he seemed to survive emotionally. He was funny and outgoing in the extreme.

Oh! 4 was very Young. How sad. I'm glad your day school partly redeemed your situation for you.

I was at boarding school from the age of 4. My father died in service (RAF) in Malta so we were shipped home and lived with my grandfather in his 2 bedroom flat. My mother had to work so my brother and I were both sent to (different) boarding schools, funded by the armed forces. I hated it. It has made me a rebel, resistant to and resentful of authority. On the other hand, I am resourceful and independent. My relationship with my mother was severely damaged: for a very long time I couldn't forgive her for doing that to me, even though I recognised her reasons. I think that the only thing that saved me from further damage was the fact that the boarding 'school' was in fact boarding 'house' and supplied pastoral care only: we were sent out to day schools from there. I loved my day school and for me it supplied the emotional growth that was otherwise denied me.

I went to an ordinary primary school as a day pupil. I was damaged by three teachers. From the age of nine until eleven I was caned by these three teachers. My crime? usually a spelling mistake, getting sums wrong, and once for talking in assembly. One teacher was female and the other two were men. I used to tell my mum and she told me to stop telling her as it was upsetting my grandmother! I felt so alone during this time. When I went to "big" school I expected the punishments to be worse. It took me about a year to realise that I was NOT going to be hurt in this school. All I'm saying is, any school can do damage to a child, not just boarding schools.

pettalus It might be that those who have been are just the ones to post on the subject I doubt if they are a big %tage of Gnrs.

However if you had been sent off at an early age, you would probably have absorbed the idea that this is going to do you good and you should be grateful.

It is likely that for many young children in the 40s, 50s and 60s this is something few children would have protested about. Mummy and Daddy knew best. Challenging that was just not an option. How things have changed?

Blimey! All these Gransnetters who went to boarding school or were day pupils. A higher percentage than in the general population I suspect. I knew we were an elite group

I used to read Enid Blyton and think I would have loved to be a border, especially if I could have gone home ar weekends.

I don't have much sympathy with Nick Duffell. It's irritating when adults who have had a privileged education whinge on about it as though they were hard done by. I doubt they would have been any happier in a bog standard sec mod.

I would suggest that nowadays schools of all kinds are a lot more sensitive to children's emotional needs that they were in our day.

As probably as probably are parents. Which might make the public school stiff upper lip "syndrome" much less prevalent.

A number of you who had been to boarding schools appear to have had parents in the armed forces and have been moved around quite a lot because of this; in which case a boarding school could offer some stability with education.

I still think though attending boarding school for under teenagers is harsh particularly if the child has no choice in the decision.

There really is no shortage of very good private day schools around. I still question why have kids and then pack them off to boarding school and only see them in the holidays.

We no longer have lots of parents living abroad controlling the British Empire who need to leave their children at boarding schools in England.

You may have a point there Greenfinch. My boarding school was a teaching convent run by highly intelligent nuns (not always the case in some convents). It was girls only. We had girle from all over the world and of all different faiths.
We were in dormitories of about a dozen with girls of the same age. Each had a bed and locker separated by curtains. We all ate together in the refractory.
I just seem to remember having lots of friends always in tap. Huge gardens to play in and a very easy going sort of discipline. And Tuck Shop.

I went to boarding school at 11. I was an only child and it was thought I would come out of my 'shell'. (it certainly had the desired effect!). After two years I became a weekly boarder which was great - a home life at weekends and back to my other 'family' in the week. I think boarding is a much easier life these days - some schools even allow pupils to take pets! . In the 60's the regime was pretty strict but on the whole I enjoyed it. Apart from the fact that we couldn't have afforded it, we never considered sending any of our children away to school. The time you have with them is short and precious and should be treasured.

I watched the video referred to in the blog last night and found it quite heartbreaking. I could not imagine sending my 7 year old grandson away to boarding school and couldn't imagine what it would do to him. All those little boys in the programme were trying desperately to believe the stuff they had been told about what a wonderful opportunity it was, how much fun it would be, and as one of them said 'it will make me be able to manage on my own'. At 9? Really? When all they really wanted was their mummy. So sad.

At the risk of being called sexist ,it has been proved (I think )that girls do better (generally)academically and socially in single sex schools while boys do better in mixed ones. I wonder if the same is true of boarding schools and why some of you are saying it didn't suit the boys you knew. Just a thought !Most boarding schools (but not all )are single sex, I think.

Families vary hugely but I can't help feeling that family life is an important part of childhood. However understanding and supportive teachers may be, they are not family. I do strongly feel that seven is too young for boarding school. Thinking back to previous boyfriends from public schools where they boarded - a long time ago I realise - I suspect that there was something missing from their psyches.

I wonder if any damage is caused to children who attend huge, impersonal comprehensive schools with 2000+ pupils?

School Friend magazine.

Reminds me of all those books I loved when I was young - The Chalet School series and the Angela Brazil books! I was so envious...

in,y only.

I went to a boarding school when I was 7. It wasn't a weekly one either, we there there all term, with no half terms and in,y went home for Christmas holidays, Easter and summer.

Loved every moment of it.

Not every child who goers to boarding school goes there because of family tradition etc, nor are all children as deprived of love and support at school as this blogger suggests. I first went to boarding school at 7 on medical advice after a prolonged stay in hospital and convalescent home. I have no idea why this advice was given and I think it was wrong. I was there about 5 terms.

However I went willingly back to a different boarding school at 12 because as my father was in the army. I had already attended 9 schools and my parents knew that to stand any chance of getting a good education and passing exams I needed stability in my education. In turn I chose to send DS as a weekly boarder at a local school, preferred by DS as well as us over a local day school because what we all recognised as its gentle and supportive regime for a very bright child with one skin too few who had begun to flounder at his otherwise excellent state primary. DS remains the gentle loving person he always was. His MiL has commented on how loving and nurturing he is with both DDiL and his children.

There are several examples quoted above of families where one went to boarding school and two others didn't and the problems it caused, I suspect the real problem is the divide between one and two. I and my younger sister went to boarding school, we were close in age and our education followed a similar pattern. My youngest sister, 5 years my junior stayed at home and went to day schools except for a brief period of boarding in her first year at secondary school. She acted towards us two older girls and our parents much as the single boarding school children mentioned above. Simply she felt excluded from the life her sisters led and because our mother constantly worried about us and talked about us in our absence my youngest sister always felt she was an also-ran and that DM favoured her two older children over her.

Since our parents and my younger sister have died, we have become closer and talked these things through. It was a revelation to her that when DM was with her two older children, she constantly talked and worried about her youngest. Nevertheless, she still remains very prickly and critical of our DP and emotionally very closed.

My DS went weekly boarding when he was nine - and he loved it! He became a day pupil at 12, his choice, but at 16 he asked to board again. My father fits the mould described, but DBH also boarded from 7 and he most certainly does not. I think the writer of the article is a bit out of touch with how the schools are now. To put it mildly. The current Head of Eton is an amazing man, quite young, very modern and not Old School.

No, it's not for every child, but I think in the past there were too many men who wanted their son to go to school where they did, whether it suited the child or not.

I was threatened with being sent away to boarding school by my mother when she was cross!

Having said that, I could not have sent my 7 year old off to board at prep school. I would have found a good day school.13 is old enough to board.That is the age they start at Eton and most Public Schools.