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By special request, let’s discuss our favourite Classic Music and why?
Villem Saks contemplates the humble dog poo. Is it as much of a problem as it seems? Or are village dog poo <fanatics> prowlers fixing their beady eyes on the wrong problem? Villem considers...
Villem's late canine companion, Rocky.
Poor old dogs, they get a bum deal. Horses produce manure and cats do their business, yet dogs 'foul' or produce 'mess'. Granted, getting the stuff on your shoes and walking it across a clean carpet isn’t fun, but that’s about as bad as it gets.
So why does it divide communities and why do some of us recoil in horror at the stuff? Let's start by choosing the right word for it. I'm sticking with turd. Sure it's a little coarse but it has impeccable heritage in that it comes from the Old Norse tordyfill meaning dung beetle. I reckon humans are repelled by dog turds because deep down, psychologically, they remind us of our own. There's no research to quote but maybe it's an evolutionary thing which maintains our perceived superiority over lesser mammals. The notion that our waste products look and often smell the same as dogs is an affront and might be upsetting for many people.
There is the big issue of kids going blind from Toxocariasis which is caused by roundworms in dog turds. If children eat them then there could be a risk of infection. However, according to the NHS there have only been 30 cases in England and Wales between 2000 and 2010. Cases that involve blindness are rare.
In many villages and towns there are ongoing crusades to wipe out dog turds from public places with the use of ruthless highly-trained Council Response Against Poo operatives who will stalk and fine anyone seen committing a turd offence.
Recent anti dog turd signage also blames domestic dogs as a major cause of the apocalyptic sounding Neosporosis which causes cattle to abort. However, according to many vets the science is not conclusive. Some maintain that it is mainly farm dogs which carry the cysts that infect cattle. And yet these diseases are touted as major health risks. In many villages and towns there are ongoing crusades to wipe out dog turds from public places with the use of ruthless highly-trained Council Response Against Poo operatives who will stalk and fine anyone seen committing a turd offence. They will liaise with curtain-twitching residents who, on orders from many local parish and town councils, will be expected to report their neighbours giving a description of the poor mutt and details of the errant deposition.
There is some rationale for implementing a program of information and enforcement in urban areas but is it a problem in the village environment? There's no doubt there are those who let their dogs deposit anywhere including the weird people who pick up nicely in a plastic bag and then toss it into a hedge where it hangs forlornly; presumably waiting for the Dog Turd Collection team from the local authority.
It’s really a matter of common sense. Pick up where it is plainly apparent that someone could step in it. Bagging a turd on a wind-swept hill or farmer's field seems like overkill. An agile flick of the boot which sends the offending lump into a hedge or stream is not going to cause an outbreak of bubonic plague.
The maximum fixed penalty for failing to pick up a dog turd is £1,000. In the UK each year about 2,400 children are killed or seriously injured on the road. Many of these accidents are caused by excessive speed. The maximum fine for speeding is also £1,000. There are speed gun patrols in some villages but when it comes to installing bumps or flashing signs, the Parish council bleats on about the cost and how it will impinge upon character of the village. Dog turds, it seems, are more of a problem.
Villem Saks is the author of How to survive the English Village: a guide for retirees, returning expats and folk not from these parts, available from Amazon.
By Villem Saks
Twitter: @Gransnet
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MrsMopp it's really NOT an advantage if a cat buries its poo. I would rather see it where I can deal with it than meet up below the surace when I'm planting bulbs etc 
Maybe my memory is playing up but didn't we have a thread about surviving village life a year or so ago? I'm sure it was linked to somebody's book or blog. 
Same author?
I don't remember dog poo being mentioned though.
Perhaps cat owners could train their cats to use a litter tray so that the cat owners have the bother of dealing with their mess perhaps? I am fed up of having to clear piles of cat mess off my lawn every week - and I've tried every method of deterrent, but still it appears. When I had a cat I trained it to use a litter tray, so I don't see why others don't. 
Our last dog used to do a sort of ineffectual scratching of the lawn in a vain attempt to cover it up, mrsmopp 
Cats bury their own poo. Show me a dog who can do that!
How can you blame the owner for a cat pooing in someone else's garden? It would mean that they would never be able to let their cat out of the house.
The cats don't bury it in our garden. (Well, one does and I generally find it when it's stuck to my gardening glove.) The others leave it all over the place. Garden beds, lawn, veggie patch. They sneak in at night and booby trap the place. I keep having to borrow the DC's dogs to discourage them. At least they stick to the lawn and we're looking out for it. There's no way of telling when a cat will strike!
given that we've destroyed the lives and habitats of many animals can't we be a little more lenient?
But it's not the dogs we are blaming, Eloethan, it's their irresponsible owners, presumably human!
Cats usually defecate in nice soft soil then bury it, so that if you have prepared soil for planting then go to plant you may find it. It's unpleasant but if you wear gardening gloves not too hazardous.
Dogs just poo on the grass where children may play.
By the way, I am a dog lover, not a cat lover, but I am realistic.
How can you possibly stop a cat pooing in other people's gardens? It's not very nice, admittedly, but really aren't things getting a bit out of proportion.
The animals that create the most havoc and pollution are human beings - given that we've destroyed the lives and habitats of many animals can't we be a little more lenient?
Pompa - I do not think that the fact that the trout does not learn from experience necessarily means they do not feel pain - it just means they are not very bright.
Cats have a 'right to roam' (unfortunately) whereas dogs have to be kept under their owners' control.
Yet cats can poo everywhere all over neighbours gardens and owners do not have any responsibilty to clean it up! One rule for dogs owners and another for cats owners! If you have a pet, clean up its mess and dont expect others to have to do it!
Walking not waking!
If dog owners don't want turds in their cars why do they think I want it hanging on a tree at eye level or left on the ground when I go waking?? Self-centred immaturity to say the least!
Agree with you about wild meat Pompa. Despite TV programmes and other publicity the way a lot of animals are farmed is appalling - especially abroad. It should put poo into perspective but I bet most of the people who don't pick up also drop litter and don't care where their meat comes from as long as it's cheap. I fear many are lost causes.
What I can't understand is those who pick up and hang the poo bags in hedges when there's a bin nearby or they're within walking distance of home. I can understand not wanting to take poo into the car but we carry old supermarket bags for extra protection.
Is it just a pathetic attempt at rebellion?
Mishap, I agree with you in the main. However I do not think that fish feel pain as we do. I have come to this conclusion from personal experience having both caught the same trout in quick succession and having a trout take both of the flies on my cast. Had they felt pain from the hook, I doubt they would immediately take another fly within a few seconds or minutes. Also they only seem to know they are caught when they feel the restraint of a line, let it slack and they will quietly swim off. (this is how we try to release undersize fish, with barbless hooks they often fall out when the line is slack.)
I do openly admit that I enjoy fishing, trying to outwit that big old trout, but I also respect my prey. This is the deep rooted hunter instinct in me.
I prefer to eat wild game when possible, as, up to the moment it was shot, it had a wild natural life, better IMO that many farmed animals.
ps I think he just wants to sell his book How to survive the English Village: a guide for retirees, returning expats and folk not from these parts
Try to fit in with village life would be my advice.
I have nothing against fishing if the fish is eaten, after being swiftly killed - that is just part of the food chain.
I do however find it distasteful when the hook is pulled out of the mouth, the fish is trapped for a while in a net (until it can be shown off) and then thrown back in.
I do not think that fish are the most intelligent of beings, but it is hard to assume that they do not feel pain.
Oh go on, have a go at fishermen.
As a fisherman myself and a water bailiff for a while I find the littering habits of some to be appalling. This is one of the major problems facing clubs today. It amazed me the lengths anglers would go to hide rubbish, it would have been easier to take it home. No we don't want bins, that just means someone else has to take it home for them (like the poo bins). MY old club have now started employing people to clear up litter and are providing porta loos to try overcome the problem on their most popular waters.
Interestingly our fly fishing lake does not suffer this problem, the only litter we get is either wind blown or dropped by dog walkers (they don't always take their dog's poo), all the anglers will clear any litter they find, we take pride in our lake. I say our, because it is a private syndicate of only 25 and we all share in the upkeep.
My house is the last in a street in small market town in East Anglia. The road continues over the river to the next village and there are lots of good walks along the river and in the countryside. I own the field across the river and have the joy of a public footpath for 500 yards on my land. During the daytime a person with a dog will walk along this footpath at least once every hour and most people clear up their dog's mess. But this morning two offending piles were deposited opposite the house and we didn't see who it was.
We also own part of a large field (out of view of the house) which has a bridleway running for 200 yards on our land. Often there is an occasional pile left by a lazy dog owner. A friend commented last week that the bridleway was impossible to walk due to dog mess so we investigated. TWENTY THREE piles of poo left along the bridleway so we set to with spray paint to highlight the hazards and notice/flags on sticks adjacent to every pile. Next day TWO more piles had appeared. Some people are just too lazy to clear up after their dog - and there is a poo bin at the end of the bridleway!!
I really just despair at the rudeness/inconsiderate attitude of some dog owners. Please don't get me started on fishermen either!
When the DC were small, they went down a slide which had evidently been used by a child with dog muck on his/her shoes. I had to put everything in the wash with disinfectant when I got them home, even the duffle coat that was 'dry clean only'; fortunately it emerged as good as new. That was the worst of quite a number of episodes in their childhood.
Is Villem Saks an anagram for Mike Vassall or something like that??
Is he an incomer or an indigenous villager..I think we should be told! Sound a cynic whatever!
Maybe GNHQ should explain the changes from Michael to Villem, particularly Eloethan's post.
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