Just how important is the father-daughter relationship, and what are the consequences of severing that connection? Author Lisa Ballantyne wonders why society is so quick to acknowledge the importance of the father-son bond, but glosses over the crucial role a father should play in his daughter's life?
Does the lack of a father-daughter relationship affect girls for the rest of their lives?
With Father's Day over for another year, I was musing on fathers and children. Research suggests fathers spend seven times as much time interacting with their children than their own fathers did with them, 40 years ago.
The role of fathers is often emphasised in relation to their sons, but are fathers not just as important to daughters? Men are seen as important role models for boys, but are they not just as vital to their girls?
There are roughly two million UK children living in fatherless households. There has long been a statistical connection between fatherless households and teenage pregnancy, crime and disadvantage, but does the reason for this go deeper than broken homes and reduced economic potential?
I have always been fascinated by the fact that girls who grow up without fathers reach sexual maturity earlier than those whose fathers live with them. Girls who grow up with stepfathers mature even more quickly than fatherless girls. The presence or absence of a father - something that is often seen as a social phenomenon - leaves a physical imprint in daughters through early puberty and also often through early sexual activity. There have been a number of studies positing reasons behind this, and considering comparisons to animal counterparts (it's a phenomenon observed in apes too); but the jury is still out.
I contest that girls need their fathers as much as boys do, and that fathers have as big a role in nurturing children's positive development as mothers.
I write often on the theme of nature and nurture and the truth is that people are often a quintessence of both these things. Things which we perceive as merely social have profound physiological consequences, and not just on a genetic level - the impact can be immediate. What happens in our families affect us physically and can have far reaching consequences.
Girls reaching maturity earlier has been linked to depression, risk-taking behaviour and early pregnancy. But it is not so much about blaming absent fathers, or once more pointing out the challenges for single mothers, but acknowledging that fathers are extremely important to their children and specifically to their daughters. Girls who perceive their relationships with their fathers as close and supportive tend to have higher self-esteem, which leads to greater success in life.
One in five fathers lose touch with their children two years after break up, but men are more likely to have frequent contact with a son rather than a daughter. Those who are actively involved with their children before the breakup tend to stay in regular contact - but significantly see less of girls than boys. Is it a lack of confidence on the part of fathers towards their daughters, or a misguided expectation that boys need dad more?
I contest that girls need their fathers as much as boys do, and that fathers have as big a role in nurturing children's positive development as mothers. Of course, not all family relationships are nurturing and positive and bad relationships are worse for children than the consequences of separation. But given the right circumstances, fathers have a profound impact on their children - especially girls. Nature is in the nurture, and nurturing fathers are extremely important.
Lisa's new book Redemption Road is published by Little Brown and is available now from Amazon.
