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LucyGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 30-Jul-15 18:35:38

Do you dream?

Rob Parsons contemplates dreams - both the waking and those we experience during sleep. What is the difference? Is one more powerful than the other?

Rob Parsons

Do you dream?

Posted on: Thu 30-Jul-15 18:35:38

(76 comments )

Lead photo

Do you encourage your grandchildren to dream big?

Do you dream? I'm sure you do. Somebody once told me that there are three common nightmares that many people have regularly: being naked in a public place, falling off a cliff (apparently if you hit the bottom in the dream you die in real life, but to date nobody has been able to confirm that), and being just a few weeks away from a major examination without having done any revision. I get that last one at least once a year (unfortunately for me, it is not so much a dream as a memory!).

Lawrence of Arabia, as he came to be known, had a different view of dreams as he grew up in Oxford, the 'city of dreaming spires'. He had a dream of an Arabia for the Arabs, free from the imperialism of the Turks, British, Italians and French. His was not a dream that was experienced during the course of sleep, but a vision worked out in the harsh sands of the Arabian Desert. In the introduction to his classic work, Seven Pillars of Wisdom, he writes: "All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. This I did.”

I sometimes wonder whether we find our dreams so hard to pursue because we simply cannot imagine them.


Don't you find those last three words compelling? "This I did." In those three words is the determination not just to dream, but (even allowing for the possibility of failure) to give everything to seeing those dreams fulfilled. And it is a determination to have those dreams fulfilled not just for ourselves, but for the greater good.

I sometimes wonder whether we find our dreams so hard to pursue because we simply cannot imagine them. When I was a small boy, I used to sit in front of the coal fire in our living room, gaze into the labyrinth of glowing ash and flame and just...imagine. I wish I did more of that now. I think we too easily imprison imagination in the world of childhood. Sometimes it's difficult to imagine things being any different. That's not hard to understand; our very survival depends on us taking reality seriously. And yet, a lack of the ability to imagine will tie us to the belief that life can never be different to how it is today.

Albert Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world and all there ever will be to know and understand." Perhaps there's a kind of imagination that takes vision, courage, and even faith.

Dale Carnegie said, "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours."

What do you dream of? Do you encourage your children and grandchildren to dream big?

Rob Parsons is the founder of national charity Care for the Family and author of The Wisdom House, a series of life lessons from a grandfather to his grandchildren, available at Amazon.

By Rob Parsons

Twitter: @Gransnet

MamaCaz Mon 15-Feb-16 20:45:03

I don't seem to be able to fly any more sad. My dream flying used to be like swimming, using a treading-water kind of motion to rise, then breast-stroke to fly.

Luckily I can still skate-walk, where I can whizz along the streets in ordinary footwear but using a skating motion. It's really enjoyable!

Alea Mon 15-Feb-16 16:35:30

Hilarious dream last night that I had somehow sent non identifiable emails to all the schools I don't like to warn them of an OFSTED inspection within 24 hours grin

NonnaW Mon 15-Feb-16 15:43:22

I have several recurring dreams:
The communal toilets with no doors (that started in childhood and has continued on and off)
Realising I have to be somewhere but have not packed, am not even in the right place to start with and frantically searching for things
My teeth crumbling in my mouth (must be my fear of having to have dentures!)
Being lost in a rambling building and the only way forward is by means of a step which is taller than me

I have come. To the conclusion, writing this down, I am just weird!

Also I can ride a bike in my dreams though not in real life

LuckyDucky Mon 15-Feb-16 11:24:45

OK see your point alea.

However I had a horribly graphic dream where I was a back seat passenger my mm and her friend in a yellow mini; there was a collision; we three died. Seconds later or so it seemed, I looked down on our broken bodies. I yelled, then woke up . . . . phew.

Will never ride in a yellow car or buy one

rosesarered Sat 07-Nov-15 18:11:42

Another common dream I have features water, in it I am the most amazing swimmer, very nice, as I am a poor swimmer in reality.
Another ( though this dream has not appeared for a lot of years) is running away from someone / something in a house, by breaking through what looks like a loft hatch in the ceiling, then again and again the same as I get higher and higher, this dream ends before I reach the top of the house.
Sometimes I am on a bus going through countryside, going home, but then realise I don't know where home is!
DH and DC and DGC rarely feature in my dreams.
I am a very light sleeper, wonder if this influences dreams?

LuckyDucky Sat 07-Nov-15 17:53:39

Thanks for your concern alea.

I'm taking a strong pain killer. I'm unsure if the med is accumulative.confused ^Will look online ~ when less fuddled. confused

Alea Sat 07-Nov-15 16:20:52

Hope you're OK luckyDucky, it's a bit early in the day for life to "be a blur" smile

LuckyDucky Sat 07-Nov-15 15:06:47

Yes it refurring reoccurs. Will figure it out.

NotTooOld Sat 07-Nov-15 15:01:20

I have a recurring bad dream of being trapped in an old house. I have to crawl through very low doorways, under fallen beams, and then I am on a staircase with missing stairs which I have to somehow negotiate in order to get out. I dread to think what the dream psychologist would make of that.

NotTooOld Sat 07-Nov-15 14:55:54

Frustrated you say, LuckyDucky? If I was a dream psychologist (which I'm not) I would certainly be considering that aspect of your dream. Are you sure it's not? Especially as you keep mentioning it. grin

LuckyDucky Sat 07-Nov-15 14:39:47

Yair probably. Life's a blur right now

Alea Sat 07-Nov-15 13:55:57

Haven't you said that at least three times, luckyDucky(18/10, 24/10, 7/11)?
Must really be a recurring dream wink

LuckyDucky Sat 07-Nov-15 12:15:17

I dream I'm about to ride a handsome, 16.2hh black horse. I walk towards it, gather the reins in my left hand, slip my left foot into the stirrup and about to mount, when I wake up . . frustrated.

A specialist warned I should never ride again, after a horse's antics
when schooling it. sad

Btw, do you dream in colour?

discorpion Wed 28-Oct-15 19:49:11

Interesting reading. I have nightmares every single night. They are very vivid and I recall them in detail when I wake up. Sometimes I am aware that it's a dream and am able to wake myself up before the worst happens. Plus I have long nightmares which seem to take hours but when I look at the clock, only 5 minutes have passed.

LuckyDucky Sat 24-Oct-15 00:16:48

I walk towards a Dutch/ Danish warmblood gelding. His coat glistens, has a kind eye and is 16.5 - 17.h.h. I gather the reins, put my foot in the stirrup. . . then wake up {sad] Love dressage.

Or, I occasionally have dreams where I move hectically within different scenarios.
Or, I'm driving and my journey is spattered with traffic jams.

Hmmm. . .Hang on, I'm beginning to see a pattern.

thatbags Sun 18-Oct-15 09:07:01

Everyone dreams; not everyone remembers what they've dreamt. Just saying.

Marelli Sun 18-Oct-15 07:33:13

I dream most nights, and these days they seem to fade as I wake up. However (not wishing to be an EastEnders 'spoiler' grin ) the other night I dreamt that Les, the possibly philandering undertaker, was actually a cross-dresser, and that's why he was in his vest and Y-fronts at that lady's house (can't remember her name). All the feminine clothes, and accessories are what he likes to wear when he visits her, and 'Christine' is the name he gives himself when he does so!
Anyone else had the dream where they are needing to use the loo, and know they are still asleep? I have..... blush.

LuckyDucky Sun 18-Oct-15 06:39:56

Looking back I remember:

In my fifties, I dreamt we had insufficient supplies for another baby. I'd shout "No,", wake stiff as a board and drenched in sweat.

A few years on, I dreamt I'd hurry from one scene to another without a positive result. Or, I've been offered a ride on a horse; I walk over, gather the reins. . .before I can put my left foot in the stirrup, I wake, feeling disappointed.

*Just remembered*: In my twenties I read an article on dreams. A sub heading asked, "*Do you dream in colour*"? I found I did. Presumably we all do, do we?

rubylady Wed 05-Aug-15 01:22:42

grin Yes, Greyduster that certainly couldn't be real life! lol

Greyduster Tue 04-Aug-15 17:41:34

Yes. (But not with the Duke of Devonshire!). I don't remember it being with anyone I actually know, and it does seem to be good! Must be a dream then, eh?wink

rubylady Tue 04-Aug-15 17:06:55

Does anyone ever dream of having sex? I do, I just wondered if anyone else has this one. Sometimes it's nice and then other times it can be disturbing, depending on who it is I am dreaming about.

Grandma2213 Tue 04-Aug-15 01:23:32

greatmum your dream and interpretation of it made me feel very sad. When you say your 'new family', was this just in the dream or did you really have a 'new family'? Do you still have this dream as an adult? I have always found that if I have felt emotions in a dream, as you say, 'toppled and stressed out', 'everyone has let me down' I try to take some control in the dream and change it next time. I am not a dream expert but I do try to change negative into positive, if not in the dreams at least in how I think of them when I wake up.
You are right 'There is always someone worse off,' but that does not make your own problems go away.

I hope you can 'unlock' yourself from your recurring situation and manufacture your own 'good ending'.

greatmum Mon 03-Aug-15 07:42:18

Very interesting !! I have through reading these, realised that the dream I constantly had as a child, was properly telling me my life was going to be hard !
For I used to go mountain climbing with my new family, it was fun we were all tied together with rope, I was at the end - last, being the smallest; it took a long time to climb , there were lots of things to see, when we reached the top it was decided that we will jump to the next peak ! Now I was small and a bit worried that I could not jump far enough, but they all said you are tied so will be OK!
I watched each of them jump and land on next peak, but when I jump I can't get there and I am falling down and down very fast, suddenly I realise I am no longer tied to them!
I look for help ... But they are not waiting , they are moving on ! Their backs turned to me !
There is a loud bang and I wake up very frightened, sweating hot, and just lay there affaid of the dark.
My life has been just like that happy to climb with family, but frequently toppled and stressed out! It seems everyone has let me down, (in words to fall) Too too often, i feel locked into this situ:!
I don't see a good ending either.
But then again as they say there's always some one worst off!

grandma60 Sun 02-Aug-15 19:17:19

The dream that i still like to remember was several years after my grown-up children had left home. I dreamed that they had come together to visit me, but they had gone back to being children. We went to the park and played games and then came home and i gave them their tea. Then my son said "we have to go Mum i have to get back to the ship (he is in the navy) and R has to go to work. I said oh please will you come again? and then they vanished.

shabby Sun 02-Aug-15 16:20:19

I never remember any dreams but my DH on the otherhand is plagued by the most vivid dreams which he absolutely hates. We think it is due to the meds he takes.