Exactly.

I agree Volewriter ( like the name) nobody should feel it's fine to comment on any size of person, unless it's a concerned family member, and then do it in privacy.

Didn't come across that way, but who knows. What I would say is, if there's room for doubt re your motives then it's better not to comment on someone's weight.

I just don't believe it's good manners.

Probably genuine concern.

It was distant family, a lady I don't know well at all.

I think it was probably said out of concern - if it was a friend speaking. Perhaps she could have chosen a more appropriate time and place to voice her/their concern.

Otherwise - my God! - what sort of people do you mix with?!

I wish I'd had a decent come-back. Good for you.

So was mine. That of one of the people saying it (my mother, as it happens) was in the underweight range, had been for more than twenty years, and still is. I just said "Look who's talking!"

Because the person speaking to me didn't know me intimately enough to make that call (imo), and also - more crucially - because my BMI was well in the healthy range.

Why don't you think it was said to you out of genuine concern?

I suggest that someone who comments that 'you are too thin' could be envious!

I'd say, thatbags, that in your case comments about your shape were almost certainly born out of genuine concern. x

'Nasty' is too strong a word for it in my case, but it was uncalled-for and critical. It certainly wasn't intended for a compliment, in my case. And it did sting a bit because I'd made an effort for the party and thought I'd looked nice. Plus I had a real moment of, 'God, no matter what we weigh, we never get it right, do we?'

Do you count "we think you are too thin" as nasty?

Genuine question because I have had that said to me a few times by different people and I didn't regard it as nasty. I've never been anorexic but my sister was and two of my nieces.

'The Ministry of Thin' by Emma Woolf is a very good book on weight/body image and the way society pressurises individuals.

Yes, that's me. I did a LOT of research, and it's amazing how many people with eating disorders cite nasty comments as the trigger for the illness. (Though obviously there's a great deal more to a mental health issue than that single point.)

Are you the same Kate Long who has recently had a book on anorexia published?

I am really surprised when I hear of things like this. I am overweight and no-one has ever mentioned it!

The worst is the 'concerned' person who just as you're about to put a tasty morsel in your mouth looks at you solicitously and asks, "Should you really be eating that?"

Or my mum's favourite, "Are you eating again?"

VQ, nobody has ever had the nerve to tell me I'm too fat, though I am. Someone did call me formidable - though he was a bit drunk at the time!

Believe me people are only too happy to tell you that you're too fat as well.

Been on the receiving end of that type of comment so many times, despite an exemplary BMI!

Although it's quite telling that the woman in the OP's blog felt it was OK to tell her she was 'too thin'. I doubt whether she would have 'leaned in confidentially... and said "We think you're too fat."

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
That's a general comment to all those who feel it's ok to make any type of personal comment. Whether it be the colour of your hair or the size of your nose.
It is possible to be other than average weight and still be healthy, we're not all a burden on tax payers.

But also, thanks for your comment. :-)