If I ever do it again, I'm eloping to Gretna Green!

All 4 of our DCs' weddings were completely different and special to them (yes, even the one that led to him abandoning her when she was 6 months pregnant). They were also all arranged within months. However it seems to be normal to plan 2 to 3 years ahead....providing plenty of opportunity for the bride to evolve into Bridzilla!

Has anyone watched the 'Him and Her: the wedding' series? Hilarious! Megabridzilla!

I think wedding is more memorable when you celebrate it with closed ones rather making it as an "event" by inviting tons of people whom who you don't even know properly!When I got married to my fiance right here in Florida, we invited only about 25 people as we want it to celebrate with our immediate family and friends rather than with the whole community!

I just object to the implication that things were "better" in our day! It is a temptation we grannies sometimes need to resist if we are not to fall into the stereotype of whingeing old biddies "In my day. . . . . "

To be fair Alea the current wedding industry can be very seductive to excited and hopeful couples!
I don't recall favours being on the scene at all in the 70s except for the Mediterranean custom of sugared almonds , wedding cakes /photographs were pretty standard in style, honeymoons were not lavish, and extravagant hen do, stag weekends were not expected and many receptions were in the back room of a pub rather than a castle or stately home. Bridal make up etc. was not on my radar when I married.

I do agree that many young couples do make sensible choices to minimise costs but I do feel that the stakes have been raised. Like your DDs my DD also sourced flowers/ cakes/car etc from kind friends and we all pulled together to make various bits and pieces to make sure it was a glorious and memorable day without it putting everyone in debt for several years!

My daughter has been asked to be a bridesmaid (one of several) for her friend. She was delighted until she realised that she has to buy her own long dress (which she will wear only the once) and shoes. She has also been invited to the hen party (which will cost her £150) and then she and her husband have to stay overnight for 2 nights in a hotel for the wedding itself (another £150). Then there is a present to buy........Fortunately their childcare for the weekend will be free (me)!

Just one last word on wedding presents, which of course featured in 1970as was the custom, the Pyrex casseroles, teapot, coffee percolator, sheets and towels, canteen of cutlery, etc etc etc.
I was very proud of all 3DDs when they said that their guests' PRESENCE was what they were looking forward to - not presents.

I find the title of this thread incredibly patronising, generalising as it seems to do, that all weddings "today" are of necessity "big, fat weddings ", costing an arm and a leg , with meringue dresses,fairy princess carriages and Barbie lookalike brides.
Some are, some are not.
Who is to say and how can you extrapolate from the predilections of some that ALL are of necessity a waste of money?
Are all today's expensiveholidays a waste of money? Are all expensive new cars or 4 bed houses a waste of money?
Define your terms, please and choose your target with more care instead of firing a broadside at "today's weddings" as if they were all the same.
Cliches do not make for sound argument.
Each of our DDs planned their extremely stylish and different weddings 7 years ago, 4 years ago and just before Christmas. Talented and artistic friends went to the flower market at crack of dawn in the case of two, another friend grew herb boxes as table decorations, this MOB plus a team of willing helpers sewed miles of bunting for one, the old ladies in a care home in Devon made quilted "letter" bunting with the bride and groom's names for the December wedding, one sister baked her older sister's wedding cake, in one case the "ladies of the church" did the church flowers for a donation to funds, in another a gallery was offered as the reception venue, I could go on but won't. My point is, their own highly individual weddings were very, very different from my morning dress and top hat rather starchy affair (but my Mum loved it) 45 years ago in a medieval university chapel, so please don't generalise.

My DD1 was the last of her gang of pals to have a wedding and she said that helped her decide what was important. She could not recall what favours, invitations, flowers, cake, colour scheme, hairstyle etc, her friends had.. she just recalled the overall ambience: formal, relaxed, disorganised etc etc. and the food!

My wedding was fairly typical of the early 70s..a church do with a reception for 60 family and friends in a pub. We made a donation to the church flower fund for the church floral arrangements! Wedding at 2:00 and we were off on our one night honeymoon in Windsor at about 6:00! We did have bags of sugared almonds as favours though! My dress cost £32 from Dickens & Jones in Richmond. I had a maid of honour but no bridesmaids as DH had four nieces and I thought that was too many! No hen do and the stag do was the night before in a local pub!

Some £ saving tips from our kids weddings. Make invites favours table decorations. Martha Stewart website has great ideas. Bought loads off e bay artifical flowers ring cushion flower girl dresses white umbrella feather stole etc and resold. Hired ladies hats only £45 for hats worth hundreds. mens suits. Borrowed posh cars wedding cakes bought Christmas fruit cakes after Xmas cheap and added decorations. Did not have a free bar. As we gave a donation towards the wedding and respective in laws too they had the weddings they could afford and amazing how they economised when it was mostly their own money they were spending. We had 3 lovely weddings designed to match their circumstances, station in life and budget.

Welllllll .... of course it is the couple's choice, but if said couple would struggle to have the home they want too, then common sense says it seems mad to spend money on fripperies when it could be put to better use.
When my daughter married a couple of years ago, both sets of parents contributed and she and her husband put in what else was needed. They managed to undercut the 'average rate' of a very traditional white wedding by many £1,000s through making it quite a home-organised affair: lots of fun was had making the table wines and toasting drinks, place names and party favours etc. and there were lots and lots of very personal touches to the day.
I got re-married a year later and, including honeymoon, the cost was about £2,500 ... intimate church wedding, and buffet party on the day, followed by a bring and share for 70 family and friends at the end of the honeymoon. We had everything we wanted and the way we wanted it.
Of course it is not the price tag, but the commitment of the couple at the centre that makes a wedding wonderful, or indeed, dodgy, no matter the cost.
However, I think it is very possible for the couple who are marrying to lose the central focus of the day amidst complex planning and lavish provision. At the end of it all, it is simply just 2 people making their promises and hopefully joyfully supported by family and friends.

Friends of ours didn't have a photographer but gave everyone a DVD to put their photos on and return to the couple.

In Germany, the photography session is before the wedding. If you use a professional, it can be one of the bigger expenses, though. My eldest's father-in-law is an amateur photographer and a couple of the people from his club filmed and photographed the whole day. We have four DVD's with all the photos and films, and two CD's with the first copies of all the photos, unedited, untagged and unsorted. Over the top, but it didn't cost any extra.

At my own wedding, I was equally lucky - a friend of my father's was a semi-professional and he took a few pictures outside the church after the ceremony, as well as of the signing of the register, and just gave us the films afterwards, for free. We had to pay for the developing and printing, I think, but it was a saving of photographer's fees again.

If people want to spend huge amounts on their wedding and can afford it, I suppose it's their right to do so. But it makes me very cross when I hear couples explaining they can't afford to get married. What they mean is, they can't afford the lavish party and luxury holiday for which the wedding is the excuse! We really couldn't afford to get married, both students, nowhere to live, but we did. We all walked to the wedding and the parents paid for a pub meal for the ten of us. Then we borrowed their car to go to a B&B overnight. Fifty-two years married next June.

My husband and I got married very quickly with little fuss. Lots of family and friends and a meal at a local coach house. Honeymoon was a borrowed car and a drive to Babbacombe in Devon where we stayed with my nan. She was delighted. We then went to Australia.

What I do not like about 'modern' weddings is when the bride and groom disappear for ages for photographs after the ceremony. The guests are left by themselves to drink too much and wait and wait. I think it is the height of bad manners.

I was having this very conversation with one of my nieces at the family Boxing Day gathering ... she recently got engaged to her long-term boyfriend and is looking at late 2017 for their wedding as the place she really really likes is fully booked till then. She wants the whole shebang and then some! I asked her which was more important ... being married or having one day costing 2 arms and legs, her answer was they have years ahead to be married and she wanted the day! Of course, most of her friends are already married and they all had the huge showy weddings, so she must keep up! My sister is horrified at the thought!

Different priorities these days apparently. Rather the big splash than use that money for a house deposit.

My husband and I married in Copenhagen (he is Danish, so ceremony was free) and took the families (15 of us altogether) out for brunch afterwards ... I think that cost was around £300. My first time was even cheaper as we did it with 2 witnesses and just went home after!!! Guess I'm not a wedding person! ?

My son and his wife had a BBQ in a field, which everyone contributed to instead of buying wedding presents. Entertainment was a folk band, with called dancing. It was a lovely day and the nicest wedding I ever went to.

My youngest daughter and her husband got engaged , saved to buy a house then saved for the wedding of their dreams . We chipped in with what we wanted to offer . They never asked !

They got married abroad in front of 23 of their friends and family . Had an awesome 3 week honeymoon to follow and came home with minimal debt .

They negotiated hard, made some of the elements like invitations and scaled to what they could afford .

It was a beautiful wedding and I'm totally proud that it was nearly all through their own hard work x

We got married nearly 33 years ago and had to organise it very quickly as my husband arrived from Greece and for him to be able to stay in the country (he is Greek) we had to get married asap. In fact, we got a special licence from the vicar of the church where I was baptised, even though we actually got married in another church, 3 weeks later. I bought my entire outfit (suit, hat and shoes) for around £20 and I looked very smart! In fact, one of my friends said she had never seen me look so elegant! Our reception was sandwiches and drinks in a pub and a friend made our wedding cake. My Dad paid for the pub but we paid everything else ourselves - no mean feat as we were broke and didn't have time to save up!

For our honeymoon we went to Bath and stayed in a nice hotel for 2 nights as it was half-term and I had to get back to school the following Wednesday. On our honeymoon we were accompanied by 4 friends and a dog! We didn't know they were coming, they just turned up.

My stepdaughter got married in Copenhagen two years ago (she is half Norwegian and her husband is Danish). We made a biggish contribution. It was a great wedding in the beautiful Baroque chapel of a palace which is now a military academy, followed by a cruise around all the waterways of Copenhagen - most of her friends hadn't been to Copenhagen before and neither had we so it was a great idea and we all got a snack bag and sweeties on the boat, as well as champagne, of course. Their reception was a sit-down meal in the back room of a book shop and they had a group playing in the courtyard outside before the meal and a disco afterwards. It was great and everyone enjoyed it no end.

Our daughter got married last year. She had to organise it in a hurry for the same reason that we did (ie she was marrying an American in New York and had to do it before she got deported!) We contributed to that one as well, but had no organisational input as we were over here beforehand. Her husband's uncle married them on the roof of their apartment building (26th floor) with a view across to Manhattan in the background It was wonderful! The florist let her down at the last minute, so she had to do all her own flowers and bought up every rose from a wide radius! She did all the table decorations and the bouquet, buttonholes etc. She bought her dress online and it was gorgeous! The reception was in the Housing Works Bookshop in NY, which is a charity bookshop supporting AIDS victims and the homeless and is open for functions in the evening. If you got bored you could just read a book off the shelves! We had a lovely sit-down meal followed by dancing and the play list had all my favourite songs on it specially chosen by our daughter!

They were two fantastic weddings and so well organised by the brides and not hugely expensive either and in complete contrast to ours!

I am very much in favour of marriage, but not weddings. Think of the percentage which end in divorce!

We gave our children money towards a deposit on a flat and told them that was their wedding present! They then paid for their own weddings.

We got off very lightly. Son got married on a beach in Canada with only four people present and daughter got married at a registry office in London, followed by a meal at an up market pub. Both lovely, happy couples!

Married in 6 weeks from day of proposal. Dress 17 guineas, reception a buffet in local pub costing around £60, honeymoon 4 days in Wales in in-laws Mini. Hen nights didn't exist, at least I don't remember them. Celebrated our Golden Wedding last Friday and feel very lucky.

Married in 6 weeks from day of proposal. Dress 17 guineas, reception a buffet in local pub costing around £60, honeymoon 4 days in Wales in in-laws Mini. Hen nights didn't exist, at least I don't remember them. Celebrated our Golden Wedding last Friday and feel very lucky.

On QI recently, it was stated that, generally speaking, the length of time the marriage lasts is inversely proportional to what it cost. On the other hand, the more people who attend the wedding, the longer it may last. Go figure! (Mind you, I take everything on QI with a pinch of salt.)

I was already living abroad when we got married in 1977. I went back about a week before the wedding (I'd just started a new job so didn't have many days' holiday). Popped into a shop in Ely and bought a wedding dress for 26 pounds. Some friends of my sister's (3 brothers) sang "Morning has broken" whilst we were in the registry. We recorded it on a cassette but I can't find the cassette any more.

We had the reception at the Rowley Mile Race Course because my mother worked at the Jockey Club. No idea who did the catering. I regret not being involved more now.

When DS No 1 got married, we had a lovely time preparing and planning along with the couple, their priest and both sets of parents. A lot of thought and preparation went into the service, which everyone praised highly - "It was like a concert" - so many choirs and musicians involved. And, being Catholic, they had altar boys and girls - 25 of them!

The biggest items were the flowers, the dress, and food at the reception for 80 sit-down guests. It all came to about 5000 Euros. I measure all weddings by that one, which seemed to have found the perfect balance, and was special without being too expensive.

We have been to two weddings in recent years that were to my mind completely OTT and I dread to think what the cost was. The first marriage lasted two years when the husband admitted he had been having an affair with a colleague since shortly after the wedding day. The second couple took off on a round the world honeymoon and she came back on her own after six months saying it hadn't worked out.
I'm not really cynical! I just think sometimes the costs are ridiculous for one day. I have been to lovely weddings that were obviously 'spur of the moment' type things and I don't think anyone enjoyed them any the less.