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Giving to a person begging on the Underground

(112 Posts)
Robert Sat 05-Mar-16 23:50:23

I was on the Tube in London on Thursday and opposite me were a mum and two little girls. One was hers and the other was her best friend - about 5. They were going to a kids' theatre show for a birthday outing.
A man walked down the compartment asking for money. Actually I'd seen him doing the same the day before. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm very sorry to trouble you but I'm trying to get myself straight, and I need just a bit of money to help me do that. I need a place to sleep tonight. I hate asking you but if you can spare some change I'd be very grateful." Everyone [including me] looked down at their iPhone, iPad, book or newspaper and ignored him. The mum opposite took a £2 coin out of her purse. By now the man was a couple of yards down the compartment, so she gave the coin to her little girl who walked after the man and gave him the money. When she came back to her seat the child said to the mother: "I expect he's homeless."
As we arrived at the next station a lady who had been sitting nearby approached the mother: "I'm a social worker from XXXXX. That man is one of my clients. He gets housing benefit and he has a flat, and we've given him lots of other assistance. Give the money to the charity not to someone begging. He'll probably spend it on drink." The mother didn't answer but I said to the social worker (quietly): "You shouldn't have ticked off that mother in front of her children. They thought they were doing a good thing, and she was teaching the kids something. You may have got the man right but you shouldn't have told her off in front of them." She harumphed and got off the train.
Who was right? The mother or the social worker. Should I have kept quiet?

Falconbird Tue 03-May-16 06:39:36

I think the social worker was being unprofessional.

Many years ago I gave a pound coin to a "beggar" and an hour later saw him blind drunk reeling about down the road. It did worry me and made me think.

When I was a child a woman came up to my mother and asked for sixpence for a cup of tea. Mum told her to shove off and earn a living as she did.

I was upset by mum's lack of charity and do give to "beggars" I just use my instinct and remember the words "there but for the grace of God go I."

Anyone of us can slip through the net.

Witzend Mon 02-May-16 08:29:53

I have some sympathy for the SW, though she should have been more discreet. There was a time when I regularly gave money to a supposedly homeless man always asking for money in the same place (for years) locally. It later turned out (splashed all over the local paper) that he not only owned his own flat, but had many thousands in the bank.

On a cold night daughter bought a BigMac for a man begging in central London with a 'Homeless and Hungry' sign. He told her to f*ck off.

I give money to several homeless charities now but I won't give to people on the street any more.

durhamjen Thu 10-Mar-16 23:35:30

I saw it, Elrel. Shows that even the rich and famous are not far from being homeless in reality.

I have just read this and it makes me feel even more despair for the homeless.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/10/nastiness-crime-homeless-homelessness-local-authorities-public-spaces-protection-orders

Elrel Thu 10-Mar-16 21:09:00

Jalima - I believe that both the Salvation Army and some congregations of the Society of Friends help to set people up with the basics when they are found accommodation.

Elrel Thu 10-Mar-16 21:05:03

As far as I'm concerned you're giving me hope to hear of the achievements of the charity. I wonder whether you saw 'Famous, Rich and Homeless' on tv last night. Revealing both of the 4 'celebs' and of the people they encountered.

Jalima Thu 10-Mar-16 21:03:25

No, you're not virtue signalling at all.

Referring to earlier posts, just because we feel reluctant to give money to beggars doesn't mean that most of us are hard-hearted; many of us are giving in different ways even if not actively involved like you are grannyactivist - well done indeed!
Making clothing, blankets, etc, supporting charities financially here and overseas.
I did look for somewhere to donate a suite, curtains, good bedding etc etc but in the end gave them to the Red Cross, so I hope they can sell them for a profit to enable them to help refugees and/or other people in need.

grannyactivist Thu 10-Mar-16 20:53:15

Am I virtue signalling if I say I co-run a charity for homeless people? (I'm not really sure what that's about.)

I do not ever give money to rough sleepers, but I do give out socks (believe me that's a very welcome gift) and I'm always happy to chat and/or buy a sandwich or hot drink. Since last spring my friend and I have assisted a dozen homeless people (rough sleepers) and we have managed to get two elderly people off the street and into homes. We currently support one of the newly housed people with weekly visits.

The homeless person who was recently housed now has a bed, sofa, table and chairs, cooker, fridge, carpets, curtains, bedding etc. and every bit of it was donated by kind supporters of our charity. People have been very, very kind.

For me the news that two senior citizens will no longer be in danger of dying on the streets is better than winning the lottery. I cried when we heard we'd been successful in getting the most recent one housed because I am convinced that another year on the streets would have led to death. (Two street sleepers have already died here in the last year.)

Jalima Thu 10-Mar-16 20:21:33

It was quite unnerving, I had never encountered anything like it before Iam64, but was with an Irish friend who warned me not to give anything. We were not in Dublin, in a rural town somewhere.
However, if they went home with nothing for 'Dad's porter' presumably they would have got a cuff round the ear anyway sad

Iam64 Thu 10-Mar-16 18:16:50

Jalima, during my first visit to Dublin in the early 1980's, the friends I stayed with, who lived there, warned me there would be traveller children begging in the city. They said the accepted wisdom was don't give to them. Any money they got simply went to their parents for alcohol, which usually led to physical assaults on the children.

mrsmopp Thu 10-Mar-16 08:41:50

In our town there is a soup run every night for the homeless. Apart from making soup for about 70 people we also collect unsold sandwiches and pies from shops as they are closing and can't sell the items the following day. Some people donate hats and scarfs to give out. The soup runs are coordinated by the Salvation Army, and carried out by various groups such as churches, Rotary, Lions etc.
We arrive at the meeting point and its heart rending to see these poor people lining up for their soup. These are genuinely needy people who are sleeping rough and no sign of any BMW cars parked round the corner.
We do not give them money.

Jalima Wed 09-Mar-16 19:58:09

I remember going to Ireland (Eire) in the 1960s and being accosted by children begging in the streets.
They were asking for 'a penny for me dad's porter, missus'

Elrel Wed 09-Mar-16 19:53:27

In the last case it looked like a child protection issue.

Elrel Wed 09-Mar-16 19:52:29

Absent - the first beggars I encountered were also in Spain, young women with babies in an underpass near a small railway station. I was shocked - 'begging in Europe?!'

Decades later in central Birmingham on a quiet street a young woman with a child spoke to me. I gave her £10 because I felt so sorry for her and had no change. Twenty yards down the road a second young woman, previously not visible, stepped out from a doorway with her child and asked for money. I told her to share what I'd given the other one and went on my way, sadder and wiser!

I once saw a little traveller girl whom I'd taught near my home (not near hers) with a woman who was begging. She said to the woman 'No, it's my teacher!' I phoned the police when I got home but I don't know of any response, which isn't to say there wasn't one.

Does anyone remember, in the 1990s in central London, Eastern European women begging while carrying babies who were always deeply asleep and didn't appear to move. There was suspicion that the babies were sedated. Letters to Barbara Roche and her Opposition counterpart produced bland unhelpful replies. The women did disappear after a while however.

Jalima Wed 09-Mar-16 19:28:28

I couldn't give a flying whatnot whether or not they have a licence to busk.
No, but the police do!!
And many buskers are music students trying to supplement their income - just think, when you toss them £1 you could be paying a lot of money to hear them one day in the future grin

Alea Wed 09-Mar-16 18:17:03

Apology accepted Anniebach smile
I will admit I was a LITTLE surprised at your reaction to what I thought a reasonable and even conciliatory comment ...., but realise you had mixed us up.

annifrance Wed 09-Mar-16 17:33:17

Sandwich or drink to beggars, never money. Very happy to give money to buskers - they are doing something to earn it and I couldn't give a flying whatnot whether or not they have a licence to busk. They certainly cheer up the London Underground and in the past I have remonstrated with a policeman for being so miserable about it.

rosesarered Wed 09-Mar-16 12:42:17

I agree Syno there are many many reasons for being on the streets.

Synonymous Wed 09-Mar-16 12:04:24

The scenario being discussed has moved on from what I was originally posting on and since I don't have any high ground I am not sure I can add anything profitable.
However, I do throw this in to be chewed on:
Members of my family are involved in Street Missions and whilst some support others actively take out hot food or sandwiches, clothing and blankets to those who either cannot or will not be helped in any other way. The shelters are full most nights and those using them get a good hot meal and breakfast, toiletries, hot showers and a chance to wash their clothes. Most of these homeless people have to be invited in to a shelter and do not beg as many of them are in deep depression and some have mental problems and others have fallen through the cracks after leaving the armed services or after family break ups. It is rarely the same sort of person begging in the streets so clearly there is more than one problem and there needs to be more than one solution. sad

Anya Wed 09-Mar-16 09:55:18

X post jingl

Anya Wed 09-Mar-16 09:52:59

Do NOT second guess me Annie - I'd be delighted to read what others actually do to help the situation, from giving to charities, to washing sheets at homeless centres, or anything else.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 09-Mar-16 09:51:33

Anya what exactly do you want? Details of their bank accounts showing a list of direct debits to charity?

How do you expect them to answer?

rosesarered Wed 09-Mar-16 09:50:57

Perhaps if some posters did not continually take the moral high ground on every subject under the sun ........

rosesarered Wed 09-Mar-16 09:48:02

Actions do indeed speak louder than words.

Anniebach Wed 09-Mar-16 09:47:14

Rubbish Rosesarered,

Anya wants to know what some do to help those in need, anyone who posted what they did would be accused of virtue signalling ,

rosesarered Wed 09-Mar-16 09:46:46

I take it that none of us like to see poor and homeless people in the street,
But not knowing their circumstances, do not want to give our money to be spent on drugs, so offering a sandwich and a cup of tea is a good thing to do.when working in Oxford ( sadly a lot of drug users there) I used to carry a 50p coin in my pocket so as not to be harrassed by all sorts of types including gypsies.This adds up over the week ( and that was quite a while ago.) walking in the city centre last week, most of them had vanished and I noticed a better atmosphere, busking yes, but that is not begging.