great grandmothers...

So glad all is going well and you have the shared expereience of the scan to treasure forever!

Have read a bit about the TigerMother...........hmmmmm.............think its something that I would find very hard to agree with. Intensive child rearing is like setting your children up to fail - just because Mum and Dad are go ahead and intelligent does not always mean that children will be anything like. The author needs to watch an episode of that marvellous prog thats been on BBC about the Children's Craniofacial unit in Oxford....and count her blessings!

Telling my mother went really well- her first reaction wasn't negative at least, though she's worried they won't have enough money. I think she's pleased really, though she'd never say so in so many words.

I've now told my sister and she is delighted, so I needn't have worried at all about that!

The scan was wonderful, and the images you get now compared with 20 odd years ago are incredible. It was really special being there.

So thanks everyone for all the encouragement and I'm looking forward to this baby coming with its little turned up nose with great delight!

Btw I received a copy of the Tiger Mother book today, as one of the first 200 to sign up to Gransnet. Heard some on Woman's Hour so interested to read the whole thing...

congratulations nanamo on becoming a great grandmother how wonderful x

I am sure your fears will be groundless and everyone will rally round. babies are so very very precious.
Not trying to steal your thunder but i would like to announce the arrival of my first great grand child, she is about an hour old, mum and daughter doing well.

Hoping that everything went well with your lovely news,as HildaW
said that first scan is fabulous,I was at the birth of all my DGC as son-
in-law was indisposed at all the births (not a new man) I can say
that those times where fantastic and even now I cannot find the words
to really say how honoured I was to be there when all of them where
born,(gone all soppy again)

Oh......enjoy the scan it will be a very memorable occassion. I still have the text on my phone saved from when my daughter let me know she was having a boy!.......daft but very precious.

I know that I am very guilty of worrying about my family....but I try to remind myself that they are making their own choices, living their own lives just as I brought them up to do. As they grew up we loved them and cared for them....now they must put that experience into their own lives and learn to live on their terms.

What we do not want is to bring children into this world who cannot eventually fly on their own....the time will come when we are no longer around and I would not want them to be emotionally and physically totally unable to cope. Ive seen it happen ...parents who keep their children too close and the result is appalling.

Again...enjoy this wonderful time with your daughter...its full of memories to treasure.

Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. And its all perfect sense- it sometimes takes someone else to be able to see it from an objective point of view and it all seems so much more simple and straightforward.

You point out that I'm not responsible for anyone's timing- and I'd never thought of it like that. I somehow feel responsible for my daughter's timing.

Today is when the news will be broken. I'm focussing on next week when my daughter has asked me to go with her to her scan- I'm looking forward immensely to that!

Oh dear, families bring some of our greatest blessings - and our biggest worries. The first thing to understand is the two situations you describe cannot be changed, therefore you need to generate a positive attitude to both if you're able.

Unless your mum is totally out of touch with reality she will know that your daughter's situation is far from unique, therefore if you show her that YOU are accepting of it and are feeling positive about the baby she might feel reassured. Most disapproving parents are really just wanting what they think is best for their children (& grandchildren).

As for the wedding - you are not responsible for anybody's timing, so you needn't be apologetic, but do show enthusiasm and support for the wedding plans. Your sister has a wedding to look forward to and you a grandchild; plenty to discuss in sisterly chats.

Its the first time I've posted on anything really, so to get such a nice, positive reply is lovely!

I'm just a bit nervous about telling my mother- I was the rebel in the family, so my daughter will be seen as following me! Although in the scheme of things having a baby in your nearly mid twenties, having a partner but not being married...sounds a bit tame really.

But I also feel a bit guilty about my elder sister, who's daughter is getting married (the first grandchild to be getting married) in a very planned way. This baby will come before she gets married- I feel I'm stealing some of my sister's thunder (and I haven't told her yet either- I thought I'd better tell our mother first).

Families!

Reminds me of the time my own mother had to tell my Grandmother that my husband had run off leaving me pregnant!.......She was rather prim and proper, and yet her reaction was.....well shes young enough to start again with someone else!!! Yes she surprised us all. Just goes to show you can never second quess people's reactions. If your Mother is really a bit frosty about it....edit what she says to your daughter so that everyone does not feel too upset. But to be quite honest what she thinks is her problem.....What is far more important is the future relationship you have with your daughter and your grandchild. My own daughter's first child was born in similar circumstances and she was a little reluctant to tell me....my reaction was pure delight (I kept my worries to myself). They struggle a bit but work very hard at their little family in ways that fill me with admiration. Am sure when the baby arrives everyone will be enchanted.....and ENJOY!