PHEW!

My DH enjoys visiting exotic places whereas I would not cope all that well with a seven week trip around darkest Africa in a jeep and sleeping in a small tent with at least one stranger!

On the other hand, DH would not enjoy a spiritual/holistic type week in Spain doing circle dancing, yoga, meditation etc.

We do enjoy our holidays together as well, in fact going to Spain in a couple of weeks.

Here here! HappyNanna, we would not take separate holidays either. We enjoy doing different things together, which is what holidaying involves. We have our 'separate' interests which gives us 'our time', and we do share interests with friends, so we seem to have found the happy medium for us. Each to his own of course, good job we are all different.

My husband plays golf twice a week with the 'old codgers' at his golf club. About once a month he plays 3 times a week but makes sure he tells me well in advance! I don't care! Love having the house and time to myself to do what I want. Having said that, we would never dream of taking separate holidays.

When they get back it's lovely as there is so much to talk about. We even sit apart at parties and have a good old gossip when we get home.

Well been married for 41 years and it goes both ways. I sometimes go away on hols with a friend or friends too, and I'm sure he enjoys having a good old rest from me too. We all need a bit of 'me' time from time to time- and as we are like chalk and cheese, which works so well most of the time, it's important we make time for our own hobbies and hols. Going snorkelling soon with a good friend, which OH would hate to do - and I never prepare meals for him, etc- as he copes very well. Anyway, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder- and it is so true. Must say I could have never survived in a relationship where we would be velcroed together 24/7.

Enjoy!

I meant to add that checking your diaries seems to be one of the most important things you need to do when you are at home together most of the time!

My DH went away for two weeks last summer , driving to Finland with an old friend. I also felt I should have a trip somewhere so went to stay with a Swiss friend in Zurich for a week in the Autumn. We both had a great time and it was good for us to have a break apart.
He has worked from home for several years and fully retired from today so we have got used to being around each other all the time as many of our friends are now discovering as they retire!
So OGM, happy hols and enjoy yourself. Look forward to reading all about it.

Like you, Butternut, we took time to adjust, we always went to work, and worked together at one time, but when it came to retirement, we just settled in to it, go on each others nerves, but eventually each found our 'niche' Silence is golden for me, and just going for a walk on my own often solves this need. Having a close friend to whom I can moan (and vice versa) is good too.

My Oh works away during the week quite often and usually for a few weeks at a time but home for the weekends.

I loved the time it gives me to do exactly as I want, but its hard to fall back into having to think of someone else when he is home.

glamma that's so typical of husbands!

I have always been self-sufficient and somewhat self-contained and I was fortunate to marry someone whose work took them away from home a lot for varied periods of time so I always had a happy mix of time alone and time together.

Now DH is mostly retired I have lost that space and I will not pretend it is not difficult. Fortunately he recognises this and understands that when I have periods of disappearing by myself for hours into another room or another world there is nothing personal about it.

OGM When we finally retired altogether we spent nearly a year ajusting to each others constant company then decided it was best to engage with our own different circle of friends and interests,the only thing that gets me to near screaming point is when he comes in and shouts (nicely) from the front door "where are you " well we live in a 1 bed apartment with a kitchen and a dressing room so where does he expect me to be in the cupboard or the wardrobe ?

nanaej. With us it just sort of 'shook down', and took time. We both value our own company at times, and it just needed a chat, an ability for balanced compromise, and a willingness to adapt to any new situation that came our way.
I love silence at times, but needed to learn to say that, rather than expecting that it would just happen, as it always had done in the past.
Finding what works for you is the best you can do!

hmm just re-read my post and makes it sound like we do not have individual interests etc and live in each others pocket...we do have different interests but had got them slotted neatly into our working life style.

DH & I just getting used to both of us not working full time! I find it irritating when I think he is going to be at work and it turns out he's not! Unreasonable because I can easily carry on doing what I'd planned. I have not yet got out of habit of feeling we should do stuff together most of the time because we were always so busy with work that time together was a late evening or weekend only event. Now we each have more flexibiity we need to adjust and keep the diary up to date so we know what each of us are doing when...... together or individually!! Advice on how you got it sorted gratefully received!

My daughter is very happily married and she and her husband have wonderful times together, running, cycling, kayaking, camping, hiking, gardening, etc. He is a ships' captain and works one week on , when he is permanently on board, and one week off. She admits she misses his company but still enjoys being able to do all the things you have all mentioned - reading until 3 a.m, eating when and what she likes and watching 'girly' movies with her daughters. She reckons they had the ideal life! Her husband, however, would much prefer to be home all the time. I wonder how your OHs all enjoy it when you are away!

I worked part time so I was always used to being at home by myself and when my husband retired it came as something of a shock. I do love him, but I also like to have time to myself. Fortunately, with some encouragement from me, he has joined a cycling group and goes out at least one day a week for the whole day with his friends. Mind you, it took quite a lot of encouragement as he seemed to think that he wouldn't be good enough. Win, win situation as he is much healthier than he used to be, he gets male companionship and I get a day by myself!

My ex used to tell me that I couldn't feel cold because he didn't, as he turned off the heating.

petallus exactly.

No: 'What are you doing now?'
'What are you doing that for?'
'What time are we eating/ how long have I got?'
'Do we really need that?'
' Why are you throwing that away?'
No: Telling me what I'm thinking.
Telling me what I should be thinking.

I can simply be me, all day!

DH went away for seven weeks on a safari. I missed him to begin with but then started to relax and 'expand' in a way I hadn't anticipated. It was like my wings spread and then had to fold back down again when he came home.

Same here kittylester. I think the great thing about having a break from each other is ditching the usual routine and being able to do your own thing.

Enjoy it ogm I adore my husband but I also love having the place to myself for a time too and not having to be thinking about anyone else. I also get to eat lamb chops which no-one else likes. Never let it be said that I don't know how to live it up!

OGM - Have a wonderful week!. I find time spent alone, sometimes, is a lovely way to get back in touch with myself, and then I'll happily bounce back to sharing again. I do feel fortunate in having that choice available.

I am off for a week myself in August and feel quite bad about it as OH not all that fit and I am used to supporting him in lots of ways. But my DD is going to have him there, so I know he will be fine. But it is the first time I have taken off to do something purely for my own pleasure and it is going to feel very very odd!

The friends I am going with tell me to lie back and enjoy it! - I am sure that they are right.

On the rare occasions when OH has been sway briefly, I have slotted into t different routine with no problem. Have a good week Ogm!

You enjoy, it might become a habit