It never rains bit it blinkin' pours!

Alie, what a clever ruse!

Lovely outfit grace...

When I got married I told both my mum and his not to get a new hat because she wasn't going to wear one.........knowing they neither of them normally wore hats!

gracesmum you'll knock 'em bandy! Your choice of outfit sounds so right.

Sounds 'wicked'

That outfit sounds beautiful gracesmum, very classy. Don't need a hat at most weddings these days.

gracesmum that sounds gorgeous- super colour scheme. Dare we hope for some photographs in due course?

Are we downhearted? NO WAY!!!
Further to hats, I have decided not to wear one or a fascinator to DD's wedding in August as I think the jacket and trousers I have chosen could look too "busy" with additional adornment (!)It is a civil ceremony (Stoke Newington Town Hall) and the bride is wearing a gorgeous Jonathan Saunders dress - prom length and NOT a wedding dress, so I think I have judged this right as I want to look different but not too "MOB". Have I said what i am wearing (if so, skip to end now) . Raspberry pink silk jacket with a sort of swirly print in soft blue, soft jade and cream and slightly deeper raspberry pink silk trousers. stone leather and sort of opalescent lizard shoes with opalescent lizard clutch. Need to sort out the hair, spray with superglue and I'm done.

merlot love your poem.

Nellie PLEASE keep on bringing a lot of laughter into our lives. You are a real star!

Is it obligatory to wear a hat to a wedding nowadays? Some weddings I've been to have been conventional and hats were expected, but a couple of others were less formal and a nice hairdo was enough.

Brilliant poem merlot fun but with lots of depth - a bit like us really!

The hat is theoretically for the wedding in November gracesmum but, as I hardly sorted for the one in July, I have no idea what colour, style, shape or mood to go for. On top of that, I hate hats as my hair is so fine I get appalling hat hair!! It will be a fun day with the two girls though! I hope you are thoroughly organised for your daughter's wedding.

Glamma start a thread asking for advice about your hair, hat etc. I got loads of help when I did!

All the above goes to prove how well grans cope, on the whole. Well done everyone

At the moment my life seems on an even keel ( a bit scared to say that out loud) 2000 to 2009 bad time for us all as a family other than DD wedding in 2008, so shhhh, I am quite happy for it to carry on as it is!!!!

Nellie you soulnd like my kind of girl!

Reading all this has set me thinking rather too much about all life has thrown at me, started with my mum being told she was not about to give birth and to go to the loo instead - that is where I was born! Polio at 7 and a great many hospitalisations since. Met DH at 19 and he proposed 12 days later, now been married 44 years with lots of ups and downs but it gets better all the time. 3 sons who all went in for very unusual, competetive careers which caused many highs and lows.

Lost 2 brothers and a cousin in car accidents, both parents to cancer and sister to some rare degenerative illness.

Before she died my sister was still very bitter about our upbringing (very bad) which made me realise I was not and that I am very fortunate to be able to look forward rather than back.

Just this morning DH and I were talking over coffee in bed and going over all that is good in our lives and what we have achieved.

I am 66, have bad scoliosis and lopsided because one leg is shorter than the other because of polio but I am fit, enjoy my 2 pilates classes a week, walking, gardening and a good social life. I'm a little overweight but am trying to deal with that.

Maybe all the bad has made me appreciate the good. Looking forward to this next stage in our lives.

Love you too nellie. ((((hugs)))). And you are certainly not vacuous.

I was thanking my lucky stars that I'm living a quiet life at the moment although not in perfect health. At least I have only myself to worry about and I don't. But it was the 80s and 90s that were the difficult decades. In the 80s, ex started looking elsewhere and just after we'd moved north he left - I had not had time to make many friends and that was very hard; DS1 took this badly and went - only slightly - off the rails and did very badly in his O-levels, had a series of girlfriends, culminating in a very unsuitable relationship which resulted in my very lovely GD. Since then, he has hardly put a foot wrong and is now the most dependable son, husband and father. I kept the contact with GD going while he was working abroad and she now has a great friendship with her stepmother and is an idolised big sister. The 80s also saw the deaths of both my parents, the menopause (luckily an easy one for me). The 90s were fulfilling but hard work - teaching and being a local councillor and, for good measure, doing an OU French course; DS2 at University, DS1 working in Europe. Nest sometimes empty, sometimes overflowing. Deserved a quiet retirement when DSs flew the nest for good - but then I started falling apart!

I am like Annika I prefer to laugh and keep my problems to myself,the situations that I have experienced rarely get told in everyday life,but the support and the life stories add a dimension to the personalities in virtual friendship.
I know I can come across as flippant,and my sense of humour is sometimes risqué ,and as I don't enjoy debate or take an interest in religion or politics I can come across as vacuous ,I am also aware that I am not very well educated.
Gransnet has been amazing at giving support and friendship and adding more friends to those I have in real life,everyone goes through bad and hard times none of us immune to the peaks and troughs and similar to gracesmum would say don't judge me by my life,but how I deal with.
Nellie does go round the houses a bit and doesn't believe in using one word when 20 would be much better,and it's very much the same in real life,I love to chat and have fun and laugh and make people laugh.....now completely lost the thread and I feel the plot...so will catch you all later on another thread..sorry for the wafflexxxxxxxxx to all my friends

kitty I would love to go on a hat making course it sounds so interesting I also have a wedding coming up in September and am open to ideas as I don't know what to do with my long hair but that is nothing compared to some of the things people have to contend with on a daily basis.
We did tend to have a bad few yrs from 2000-2010 but seem to have had some respite at the moment thank goodness
I had to have some treatment and have more chemo but the outcome was positive.
We had some problems when we moved abroad as DD went into a depression after we moved and I had to keep coming back.
Both DSs posted to Iraq within 3 mths of each other then DS2 decided at the end of his tour he would volunteer to stay 3mths extra.
DDs x-husband thought as we where out of the country he would treat her as though she was a dogsbody as she had no support from us.
DS1s relationship feel apart due to his work lifestyle and he was devistated.
So all in all not a very nice time for the glamma family but we got over it and things are now on an even keel.

Oh gosh, there's a lot of it about!!
I think, on a serious note, that the prevalence of serious illness among friends and neighbours has to be a consequence of our age/middle years or whatever and sometimes it can seem as if everybody is ill! Around Christmas I was getting so many cards from people telling me their parents/partner/dog had died, I used to fortify myself with a strong coffee before opening them. When life is ticking along nicely, we tend to take it for granted so are not as aware of the good things as we are of the bad.
Wonderful feeling of solidarity on GN helps in a way that sometimes "real-life" friends can't - or is it that they hide when they see me coming?Anyway,the hat-making course sounds interesting - will this provide the titfers for the wedding kitty?
Feeling philosophical, it is the knocks we experience, the obstacles we overcome, the fears we confront that give us strength and shape our lives. it's not the cards you are dealt, but how you play them.

Grannylin goodnight

There has been a wonderful warm feeling of sisterhood today, thanks everyone, sleep well

Annika and for you too. ((((hugs))))

If I look back at my life there has been far more "downs" than ups. It all started at the age of about 8. My life has sometimes so hard that when I look back I wonder was that really me going through all that, I seem to be able to put all the hard (and some times bad times) aside.
If I were to judge what sort of person I am it would be someone who sees the funny side of life if at all possible, because if not I know I would go mad. !
kittylester you are right we just get on with it . What else is there to do sit in a corner and cry, no not us we are proud members of the Gransnet gang we are made of strong stuff !!! So for all of you on Gransnet with your backs to the wall here are some for you and some much deserved and

Merlot - great poem.

WoW you do have a lot going on kitty I agree with you when you say it is only when you stop and think about things you realise just how much you cope with,if we thought about it every day we just wouldn't get on with it.
That is what is good with GN you can mull things over and we all support each other and by letting off steam hopefully we feel better for doing so. and a hugxxxxxx

That was truly inspiring, Merlotgran! Thanks.