Songs with good tunes and annoying lyrics!

My little brother had a crush on Petula Clark when he was about seven. She was singing a song about a little shoemaker in his shop. I do so love to remind him about this!

Green snigger snigger

Petula Clark....she could even have been Petulant Lark, couldn't she....she always looked like a spoilt child, very pretty-pretty! (Now, green, stop being catty!!)

I loathed petula Clark and renamed her Peculiar Lark

I loathe Pet Clark's rendition of 'Down Town'...

Pink Floyd swore that 'We don't need no education' was ironic. Hm....

Banned at my boarding school as immoral!
Along with when you walk in the garden
The garden of Eden!

Someone mentioned Frankie Vaughan and Green Door on another thread.

Green Door what's that secret you're keeping.

'Jump up and down throw your knickers in the air'.......whoops, that ought to be a song for the party...

I suppose Lay Lady Lay trips off the tongue better than Lie, Greatnan but it grates. So does , This Boy Has Broke Down by the Corrs.

Any song that says 'lay down' instead of 'lie down' - such as the lovely Annie's Song by John Denver.

People
People who need people
Are the luckiest people
In the world...

No they're not!

There is "I'm a pink toothbrush, you're a blue toothbrush, have we met somewhere before?" Or anything by Max Bygraves really.

Man with a libido problem:

'Lay down Sally, rest you in my arms,
Don't you know I want someone just to talk to?'

From the Everly Brothers:
On a weekend pass I wouldn't have had time
To get home and marry that baby of mine
So I went to the chaplain and he authorized
Me to send for my ebony eyes

My ebony eyes was coming to me
From out of the skies on Flight 1203
In an hour or two I would whisper "I do"
To my beautiful ebony eyes

Then I felt a burning break deep inside
And I knew the heavenly ebony skies
Had taken my life's most wonderful prize
My beautiful ebony eyes

If I ever get to heaven I'll bet
The first angel I'll recognize
She'll smile at me and I know she will be
My beautiful ebony eyes

(Problem is I don't like the tune either...)

I work in a library; unable to laugh out loud. The best blog (?) I have read all week. What a joy on a friday afternoon ... especially as I am trying to think of other creepy songs ...

No - they have to have nice, singable tunes to qualify!

What about Chuck Berry and his dingaling and the invitaion for everyone to play with it?

50 shades of naughty

How about...
When it's spring again,I'll bring again tulips from Amsterdam.....

I am going on a drugs run,spend all night in the coffee houses,visit the red light district...and when I am all shagged out tired and spent will bring you a bunch of wilting manky tulips wearing a silly grin and expect you to do my washing.....

And what about the ultimate con man song? "Soldier, Soldier, won't you marry me?"

He gets her to get him a full rig out of clothes, from her grandfathers chest no less (could be antique stuff, worth a bob or two, on the other hand could be a load of old tat that even a rag and bone man might refuse, but who's to know?)

AND THEN................. once he's kitted out, casually mentions that no, he can't marry her, because, guess what, there's an Army wife living in some married quarters somewhere waiting for the conniving git to come home!

What about impossibilities?

I closed my eyes
Drew back the curtain
To see for certain
What I thought I knew

Duh, wouldn't you see better if you opened your eyes? Numpty!

Oops you are right Nag it was Judy who was the floozie who left the same time....LEsley was the songstress.

No soop no Duncanxx

Ah, I do know that one and my instinct is to say 'No, I wouldn't cry at my own party, I wouldn't be so damned rude to my guests'.

Nellie are you certain your dog's name isn't Duncan?

Lesley Gore, nellie!