Losing a Loved one

Hi everyone, I'm happy to be her. I'm a leading manager at writing company thesisleader.com/dissertation-writing-service/. I'm interested in learning new things. Also, I like collecting memories from countless trips in photo-shoots. My girlfriend says that the camera is my third eye.

Helshea, I couldn't bear to go shopping when my darling Dad died. I wanted to go up to all the happy people and say,'Stop laughing , my Dad has just died. We all wore pretty floral dresses because that was what he asked for. My sister made an apple pie and I made bread and butter pudding for after the service because those were his favourites. Do hope you manage to make the occasion memorable for you personally.

Every sympathy Helshea - not an easy time for you but as others have said, do what you feel is right - cry, remember, laugh and celebrate his life, look at his GC and know how proud he must have been of them. There is a lovely passage from the very end of C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle which DD read at MIL's funeral 12 years ago, if you know it. I also particularly like Robert Burn's "An honest man here lies at rest" which I read at my father's funeral 11 years ago which seemed apt. Phoenix's poem is lovely. Whatever you choose- his was a life to be celebrated and rememberd with love and joy as well as sadness.

helshea Going through all the formalites and thinking what your father would have wanted said all - eventually - helps with the grieving process. Don't rush. Breathe deeply. Drink plenty of water.

Please accept my deepest sympathy.

take care helshea hope all goes ok for you.

Sorry for your sad loss helshea

I am sure the service will be a mixture of sadness for the loss and happiness in remembering lovely things about him.
Sometimes it is good to have an uplifting piece of music at the very end that will remind people of your dad.. a favourite song maybe? Recently a friend chose 'Shall we dance' as it reminded us all of how her mum loved dancing.

Thanks everyone :-(

Helshea (((hugs)))

So sorry to hear your sad news Helshea

Deepest sympathy Helshea, so sorry for your loss
What a lovely poem Phoenix

Helshea ((hugs))

Jeni That's what my Mum chose to have at her funeral - my eldest daughter sang it - very emotional

Helshea, I'm so sorry to hear about your father. I've missed your posts over the last months - you were one of the 'originals' on GN, I think? I hope that we can help you as you deal with your feelings and the things that have to be done just now. Keep in touch with us?

I think that we may all have forgotten to say that it is quite normal at this time to be completely focussed on the arrangements, as there is always so much to do and organise. Ones mind is so taken up with the practicalities that there seems to be little or no time to actually grieve. Helshea I hope that you manage to give your father the service that you wish for, and then that you have time to spend remembering all that he meant to you.

Maccabaeus and crucifer are both good hymns as well!

At my fathers and mothers funerals we had a hymn they had had at their wedding, we also had it at our wedding and at dh's funeral.
It was
God be my head
And in my my understanding.

Deepest sympathy Helshea.

Helshea

Go with your instinct. There's no right or wrong when it's done with love. Big hug; we feel like orphans, no matter what age we are when this happens. Long forgotten memories will resurface and it will be as if you're on a journey. Take care.

Exactly right phoenix xx

Sorry for your loss, this is a poem we included in my sons order of service:

“You can shed tears that he is gone,

or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he’ll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all he’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him only that he is gone,

or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what he’d want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

helshea

Can't add to what will be said as it is personal to you and yours.

I do send much love to you, this is such a difficult time for you.

helshea, So sorry. Am sure you will do him proud. Just be true to yourself and your father, there is no right or wrong way. If he enjoyed certain music then have that played, there is no need to be artificially sombre if thats not the person her was. If, on the other hand, you know he would have wanted somthing more formal then go with that.
My deepest condolences to you and your family.

helshea, I feel for you - it takes me back 23 years to my father's death and I still talk to him in my head. Give yourself a little time to think back over his life and talk to other members of your family. They will all have something to contribute. We're with you at this sad time.

Losing a parent is hard, whatever our age is, and I send my sympathy.

When my Mum died we asked her grandchildren to write their memories of her and one of them read their thoughts out at the funeral. It was a lovely way of saying that people live on through their children and their children's children. One of my daughters said "Grandma always knew that an ice cream needed a chocolate flake in it." - I thought that was a delightful tribute.

The beauty of getting the GC to do it was that, being younger, they spoke from the heart and they did not have any of the emotional baggage that often clutters our relationships with our parents.