Lil said would you please stop debating wether her back passage was the route to gramps decline after his numerous attempts to find the pleasure gardens,and ultimately Nirvana,now as you know anywhere as moist and damp as a back passage can only produce fungi and Lil said gramps was definitely a funguy,and they both enjoyed feasting on his magic mushroom,and Lil being a big girl was able to provide as mushroom as gramps needed for his experimental ways,the herbs in question are no more than a few manky lavender sachets from mothers drawers to keep you away from her secret garden to which gramps accidentally fell head first into that night,and to stop the cats peeing round her gate.
Lil would like to express she misses her lively old soldier,and his practised methods of marital arts of which he is a black belt once removed,and looks forward to his return so they can order take away pizza...a 12" meat feast is their favourite with an extra portion of mushrooms,a side order of onion rings,and a corn on the cob,delivered by the nice man on the pop pop bike...pete I hear they have a vacancy for a pizza delivery person if you are interested,and they can continue to look through gramps books on the militaria and ,exclaim at the sizes of the weapons of mass destruction,and nuclear warheads,their favourite dads army repeats and his ageing collection of dandy and beans....