Lil's Bar

Oh no, don't give them ideas, ladies! I don't think Lil's bar is ready for the sight of Pete and gramps in their skimpies....
(Although it might be good for a )

Ella...that makes two of us...

Let us know if the e mail works Pete, I can think of a few athletic types I would like to play with!

In a laydee-like way soop of course!

Good advice,as usual,gramps! Thought I would put a board over the pool table to be used for the ping-pong...due to lack of interest from local ladees I've emailed Jessica Ennis to pop down for a ping-pong trial...she seems a sporty type

Don't forget your ping pong balls, Pete, and don't let the girls squeeze them, or they crack and will be of no use! They don't bounce then!

I knew you would be up for it gramps Lock Stock and Empty Barrels !

I'm off to find a partner...really fancy that 'Mixed Pairs Ping-Pong' carry on......

Feelin' better now.
Did I hear say of a lot of stock beauties, wanting to wash me down in Ample Bosoms, I might think I've fallen orf me perch an'gorn to 'Eaven!!
[f;owers]

Oh deary me, What a lot of "red herrings" swimming in the pond today!
How much is the truth. (as if we care!)

Well, yes, my brolly did turn inside out. Young Pete was jumping into all the deepest puddles he could find - like a li'l school kid was he.
I opened the brolly, good golly Miss Molly and walked right into a tree!
The view now was stunning, stars going and coming from every angle on hand,
But qh, what a din, a musical sin - like facing a military band!

I lorst site of pete,'cos 'e used 'is feet an'like a whipett 'e ran, leavin' me in a fix
me mind playin' tricks - not knowin' where the 'ell I am!!
Slowly regainin' me composure now,but me Uncle Ned's all of a clutter, Must git meself in and triple the gin,before I starts on me sst-tut-tte - err!

nellie nothing worse than carpet burns...except for a well known Port. The stocks idea is right up my street...as long as we get to swop shirts at the end... (and the sponges are dunked in Ample Bosom )!

No need to keep us at arms length ana...after last nights arm-wrestling I'm keeping well away....

My advice to you, Ana, is keep the lads at arm's length. Between them, they have more tentacles than an octopus!

Well, I was aware of a bit of fiddling going on, I must admit....

Ana ...you, my dear, have been nominated as best bar beauty in the district. We all look up to you. The chaps think you're fun. Although the till may remain empty during your shift, the honesty box is groaning with i.o.u's. After closing time, Gramps and Pete fiddle your expenses. I did warn you...

Are you saying I'm not right-minded, soop? There's plenty left in the pig bucket, you know....!

Ana It takes real class to stand upright behind Lil's bar and serve the rabble with a smile on your face [whilst masking a wicked glint in your eye!] The number of times I've been pelted with soggy pork scratchings for being mardy...well, let's say, it would put any right-minded ladee off for good.

Soop, take no notice of 'someone' - they are casting nasturtiums again and trying to besmirch my good name (whatever it was). I had to serve behind the bar because all the bar staff were unconscious celebrating Andy, Andy and Laura's success and things would have got out of hand if I hadn't stepped in with the pig bucket. That soon sobered 'em up!

Boy! Did I celebrate last night...or what? Andy did us proud. Andy and Laura did us proud. I had a ball. Gin was super-special and packed a wallop. Twasn't I who was seen staggering around Lil's making a spectacle of meself. Nell's right. I'm a ladee. Gramps was seen stumbling along the gutter with his brolly blown inside out. Pete kept jumping in puddles and soaked Gramps to his quivering knee caps. Ana I trust that you maintained a sense of decorum. Someone spotted you both [arm in arm] disappearing into the mist that cloaks the bonnie banks...

Morning all flying visit...hope you all behaving in a manner to which you have become accustomed ...having a new carpet laid to day..will have to test later for carpet burns...wouldn't want one of the children to hurt themselves would we.
Took a walk up Blossom Hill last night,and sat around Echo Falls to soothe my hassled existence ...so now I have a banging head all self inflicted,and a visit to the OLD GOAL HOUSE planned....if I see any suitable methods of keeping the boys under control will tell you later...think pete might be a suitable candidate for the stocks,we can torment him by getting young ladies in wet T shirts to throw wet sponges at him..being a gent of many years,we will treat gramps with more respect ..unless of course he would like young ladies in wet T shirts to throw water and wet sponges at him.
soop is a ladee and I cannot imagine her being anything else but,the person wandering around with said gin bottle must be a nasty rude clone,I did hear that she had fallen to the floor and was effing and blinding at the police when they came to help her up......In fact I am wondering who is guilty of MAKING AN OBSCENE CLONE FALL.....
ana ankles today please if you are out with pete unless you are the one putting him in the stocks and wearing a wet T shirt....

Good luck gramps ....key in usual place...

Pete, you let soop wander around with that bottle of gin? You know what she is like with strong lemonade. She gets flighty or flirty, and wearing that dress that becomes "seethrough" when it gets wet!
Forecast is for heavy rain in five minutes time - I'll go to find her!
Where's me brolly?
If I'm not back by midnight, leave the key in the usual place.
It may take quite a while to help soop get dry and warm!!

After the tennis I doubt soop is in any fit state to hear anything....last seen zig-zaging along the High Street clutching a bottle of Gin... A good wallop * ana* hmmm......(not into wrestling are you!)

I can give a good wallop, too, Pete!
(no innuendos, if you don't mind - it's before the watershed and soop might be within hearing distance....)

Diplomacy too Pete!

Well I'll change that to 'good time' save any misunderstanding...

I thought you said you liked a smashing time?

ana think we will leave the stroll then....dont much fancy a forearm smash......its not what I had in mind