Grey puppy time (not quite grown into black dog)

Big hug from me too gm.Squeeze out every tear til you can't cry anymore, then force yourself to grin all the time.It looks very stupid but sometimes works

ok well! I have had many "grey puppy " days this year, think prob due to being exhausted.... soooo I have now bought a " Hula hoop" yes! a Hula Hoop, lol...was in Asda last week, saw the Hula Hoops,, (thought hmm ! I could never do the Hula Hoop a school) so I bought one £2-50 if my memory serves me right."Is this for you" the lady at the till asked"? with a smile on her face... "yes" ! I replied and we both laughed...now this is no ordinary Hula! ohh nooo..this has beads inside the tube so when DH had gone to bed last night (well 6-30 actualy,) so more tea time than night time, I was at there twiddling my thumbs, flicking the tv about, staring out the window, and sensed that "the grey puppy" was lurking about some where! soo!!. spies my Hula Hoop propped up next to the wall!! ahaaaa ok .let's go girl! well!! after dropping it umpteenth time, the voice from upstairs shouted "what the heck you doing down there)?? with the speed I was thrusting and wiggling, well! the hoop bashed to the floor on every attempt ,and being full of beads, made a racket! tut!..... so there endeth my Hula Hoop Lesson.... (until next time ) now I expect you all! to be rushing out tomorrow and purchasing a Hula Hoop! by the time I had finished trying, I ahd forgton all about the "puppy"

The Grey puppy visits me a couple of times a week, then I feel guilty and tell myself not to be selfish. It`s just that I thought years ago that when I/we got to this age, we`d be taking it easy and doing what we wanted, when we wanted to, but instead still have partly disabled elder daughter to consider all the time, especially if we want to go out, or on holiday.

petallus It's from Keats'"Ode to melancholy." Lovely, sad...

Still ((hugs)) gracesmum x

number can empathise with you,when you should be free to make plans,there are others to think of also that feeling of being hemmed in is horrible isn't it

You see, so many of you have much heavier crosses to bear if nobody minds the Christian analogy. Lovely poem, Ariadne and absolutely hit the spot. Ironing accomplished - no point wasting a good mood on ironing eh? Lots of time on GN, but now DH has had a couple of dizzy spells, feeling nauseous etc and he is recumbent on sofa being fed dry toast and tea. Ah well.

gracesmum hope your grey puppy has now turned into the andrex puppy and your evening full of even though you DH is feeling poorly,I like the bit about not wasting a good mood on the ironingxx

biker - That's just fantastic! Good for you. I know it's not easy for you - and I admire your tenacity, humour and hoola-hoop-ness. x

biker you never fail to make me smile, your sense of humour is brilliant thank you.

Big hugs gracesmum

Hula hooping- wow! I am speechesss

hello gracesmum ok everyone..time for a challange!! never mind the Olympics! First thing Monday morning..off to the shops and get yourselves a Hula Hoop (apparently the weighted ones are better to use) pity wer'e not able to show videos (but maybe youtube)!! "grass skirts are optional"

biker good for you,I bet you'll get the hang of it soon, and then there'll be no stopping you! And you'll be a skinny minny!

I was trying to explain to someone that I sometimes am a bit of a 'basket case' and that I did not want them to be offended if I seemed a bit brusque. She gently said it was not a problem and that we all get 'dealt some unpleasant cards' in life and not to worry.
It got me thinking, yes I've had a few things over the last few years to cope with, and even potentially yet another one a couple of weeks ago that thankfully turned out to be much less alarming that we first thought........BUT, its not actually the cards we are dealt thats the problem is it?. Many many wonderful people cope with far far worse than I will never know and yet some days I could cheerfully walk under any obliging bus.
With me its my coping mechanism, its shot to pieces. Part is historic, part is, I think my personality (glass definately always half empty) and part is the accumulation of events. But I still think there is something else that I cant fathom. I just know that I instantly see the worse, instantly go under when things are not going well. Yes, I've been to Drs and we've had the chat but I think I'm just going to have to ride it out.

Any road up, suns been out today and I've had a glass of wine so tis not all bad. More importantly is just so darn reassuring to come in here and see I am far from alone. Cheers ladies and gents.

Definitely not alone ! Anything but!

HildaW I'm sure it's been said (in fact I know it has) many times here on Gransnet, that sometimes we think it is only "us" that feel the way we do, to have these strange and grey/black moods, and if we tell it all to others that they think we are sort of ermm.. "not of sound mind"or being meladramatic, when we have horrible dark thoughts, and are down and depressed and feel like we have to keep these thoughts to ourselves.Sometimes I don't think we can find the cause, it could be our "age" or just the time of day, just about anything can trigger one of these moods , we can be laughing and happy as Larry one min, then the next we come down to earth with a bump, but to every one else we are all " happy chappies" I think it seems to be worse as we get a bit older. I think also knowing that there are many more like you/us does just make it that little bit easier to try and get through, knowing you are "not" the only one, Tomorrow is "New Day" lets hope it is all a little brighter for us all Hey!!! has the wine in the Gransnet wine glass icon gone down?? I'm sure it has!! I wonder lol..

Well put biker

Yes, you've said it all there Biker, I feel exactly the same and obviously so do lots of us.
Thank goodness, we can't all be mad!!

The funny thing is, it takes so little to cheer me up. For example I just suddenly realised that I was feeling jolly good today. I took dog for walk, and had a bit of a mental sorting out session trudging around the fields...in the sun missed the showers. Then did a couple of hours voluntary work and had a good natter to the customers. Just now have had a jolly nice animated phone call with daughter which included a two second 'Hello Grandma' with GS and she popped his photo on facebook with a picture that he had just finished. Such little things but boy, they make my day. Hope others have something to smile about very soon.

As Monty Python so cheerfully sang "Life's a piece of shit when you look at it", but I'm not ready to pull the plug on life just yet. Life is best when you're young, fit, have a half decent job, kids running around and someone to share it all with, but maybe that's just because at that age we're too busy to get too reflective and we have a lot of life in front of us? My Dad always said it was a pity youth was wasted on the young.

I'm 55 soon. The average male life expectancy is Australia is 81.7 years. My cardiologist told me I'd lose 10 years for being a smoker, 10 for being morbidly obese, and 10 for having had congestive heart failure and my stroke, that was last year so theoretically I'm already dead. I did an online lifestyle calculator thing which said I'd be gone by 62, so I'll go with that one I think. What shall I do for the next 7 years? :-)

But back to the grey puppy (I really like that!)... I do get despondent and wonder why I ever bother, but then the 3 year old GD does something sweet or funny, or one of my daughter's friends asks for help or advice or invites me to a get together, or the uke club asks me to help with something, or in summer it's Wednesday night so it's night owls lawn bowls. I am a bit prone to navel gazing but I try to find things to look forward to, and of course compared to a lot of other people I have a lot to be positive about... it's just when you're in that despondent moment it can be hard to find the positives.

Thats just it PoppaRob....when you're down in the 'pit' you just cant see over the top. Glad you keep trying tho!

Hilda I'm with you. The smallest treats [such as an email from my son] can lighten my mood in a trice. I'm very easily pleased. Having fully surfaced from a long period of the 'down in the dumps syndrome,' I'm at last waking up with a smile, and not a grunt. I wish all those of you that live with a depressive illness the same deserved sense of well-being.

Remember PoppaRob , we are not here rehearsing , there is an expiration date , you sound as though you have a fairly good life , nothing is perfect though is it ? we just have to take the bitter with the better , I wish u joy In fact I wish all the posters on this thread joy, hope that doesn"t sound patronising and it"s certainly not mean"t to be all round on me of course