You could try voltarol for the stiffness. If the adverts are to be believed, you would then be able to lift quite heavy small children, and play tennis, even if you couldn't before!
(I think it's a bit like some ladies requisites that suddenly enable you to roller skate)
Sadiq Khan has commissioned benches from Spain for the pedestrianised Oxford Street


....but you lot would rather stay drinking and being merry instead of helping a fellow human suffering from 'man flu'....I can feel the stiffness starting now....but you lot just carry on dont bother about me....... 


