Lil's Bar 2

Anyone got any nuts?

Me too, jeni these dreadlocks are making my head itch.

No Ana it wasn't me, I only like younger men, and gramps is over the limit as far as I'm concerned!

Attack is the best form of defence.. I know your game lady!

Oh go on then.. I'll have apint of gin and and a splash.

Ana your spot on the small hand print was on the backside NOT the front!!

No ta! I'm back wum to me bed!
Must ave ad too mouch! Me Black Country' s coomin owt!
Night all!

jeni...Don't you think you've had enough? OK, another large one ALL ROUND Lil

Ella as you know my wife left home the last night the circus was in town and has been warming her feet on the back of the fire-eater ever since

By Royal Appointment. Maybe Pete can nail the Royal crest above the door? Eat your heart out, Harrods.

jeni!
Ella - you weren't there, you don't know how dirty it is in that cellar!
Oh, I forgot, you do know - weren't you stuck down there all night with gramps that time when we had a power cut?

If you changed it round slightly to 'in the buff mozzarella soldiers' particularly if they are of ? Royal descent!

Yeah Ana Sez you! Don't put on that innocent look with me!

You obviously haven't seen that big dirty hand print on your T shirt!

Brilliant, jeni Buffalo Mozzarella Soldiers on the bar snack menu. Do you think Lil will go for it?

Well, Pete and I were only bringing up gramps' contraband Twink from the depths of the cellar - Pete's braces only popped off when he had to give me a shove up the stairs from the rear (he made me carry the boxes!)

Buffalo soldier? Yes please

Any Bob Marley on this jukebox? We're Jammin

Pete I've just seen your wife, and she said you've not been home for a week and your dinner is in the dog!
I didn't mention what I saw you doing with Ana in the cellar, or the fact that your shirt is buttoned up wrongly and your braces have popped off!

She said she might as well get a lodger, as she was feeling the cold at night and needed someone something to warm her feet on!

That could send you madder mad, jeni!

May I drop in for a quick large double vodka? I'm suffering from l'acidite! It's all due to the citizens of le pays du Gaul!
On second thoughts using homeopathic theory, perhaps that had better be a very large absinthe

I'm back for a large . My patio is so bright and shiny, a couple of ducks have just landed on it. My floorboards will be featured in next month's Ideal Home and my hair has mysteriously wound itself into dreadlocks. It must be because I'm worth it.

Ooh Pete,
Did I leave that label on? It said "H2" but the piece that just fell off had "SO4" on it - I think it might not be good for hair dos !
DON'T Drink IT!! I saw what it did to Lil's prize Delphinium when I used some to water it. I thoght it wanted a tonic!

You did, phoenix! Surely you remember.....

Surely Cillit Bang should be in bold AND capitals, to reflect the shouty TV advert?

Aaaaaaanyway, just dropped buy to say that "himself" has come home a day early, so I won't be in tonight.

Enjoy yourselves, (that always sounds a bit iffy, Oscar Wilde was once at a party, and when the hostess asked him if he was enjoying himself replied "Of course I am, after all there's nothing else here to enjoy, is there?) and make sure you get home safely.

By the way, who put up that poster about a Karaoke night?

Its ok Ana I 'll blame gramps
Cillit what? Lil uses Flash (ask anyone)

I heard that, Pete|! Lil won't be best pleased at your black-marketeering!

Not if it's as good as you say it is, Merlot! Lil's decided to do a sideline in home perms, bottling the rinsing water and selling it on to Cillit Bang - apparently the ingredients are very similar...

Dont tell Lil then merlot...Shh