Lil's Bar 2

True*Nell*...amazing what you pick up....

He's been reading the graffiti on the Gents' wall again...

You seem very well informed about crabs pete

Get out there and fill your buckets......but watch em they jump lol
No don't look anymore nell...I'll be fine !!!

Yes that does sound rather like dolores......what do you think of wanda is she not to your liking....or shall I keep looking,

Still need to get ready for crabbing [ confused] just no enthusiasm..

Scouse accent...NO ta Nellie

A large truck has just pulled onto the car park with a 'Wolves' plate on......seems to be a laydee driver.....with arms like Popeye!..................just remembered I need to be somewhere, see you later (much later) Lil....

NELLIE ...Thanks for making me rock with laughter...

Now I really must get into full wet weather gear...sou'wester and wellies to go crabbing........see you laterxxxx

And that should read dilectation not dialect action lol....although she is a lovely girl with a strong scouse accent.....

Oh b****r just posted a few more for you.....and then lost the lot,,now have to go crabbing...but for your dialect action we have wanda an exotic dancer who once appeared in concert with orville the duck...*wanda *is so named due to an accident at birth which left her with a slight cast in her eye but she can look in both directions at once....she is 58years old has performed on cabaret ships in all ports her favourite being kuala lumpar where she was arrested for getting down and dirty with a stoker from an oil tanker......

pete did you ever have a copy of the smallfaces album from the late 60's called * ogdens nut gone flake*
The reason I ask as wanda is the love child of renee the dockers delight....xx

Suppose it's too early for a quick swift half

Nellie a 57yo 'Tiny' would be right up my street......Don't really fancy arm wrestling or having my 'collar felt' as nice as other two are!

Ella gramps is doing ok and taking it easy for a while

pete doesnt mind if it fear or rear..but I think he prefers the latter

Yes but a gentleman who "arrives"too quickly is not much fun ....so nelliesmoluski advises....so we don't want him to be too speedy...

'fear' not rear...freudian slip?

Oh dear! I rear that our Pete may get overexcited now and bust a gut!
Even gramps may be polishing his false teeth and changing his long johns for a pair that he's only worn three times!

We should have a "Happy Hour" just for the laydees tonight. It might speed up the 'speed dating'!

If this speed dating gathers an interest we make a regular evening along with a darts evening for both sexes and also mixed doubles..lil knows she has been absent for a while but is looking to bring some fresh events for the coming season....she is also looking to bring her very good friend nelliesmoluski
For an extended visit,so look out for tales from her past.....

Who is ridiculous.....what happened to all the staff,did they all leave...
pete am I right in thinking you are a bit of a lad who likes the company of lots of ladees,well lil has suggested a speed dating night for you and she has pulled a few of the applications for your perusal....

Dolores 46years old lady trucker from Wolverhampton ..hobbies include making balloon animals and arm wrestling,enjoys takeaways,pubs with sticky carpets ,banger racing,and relaxing on silk sheets looking for a companion for grungy nights ..and maybe more....

tallulah 53 year old lady just released from Holloway,so is in her words "gagging" for some male attention and company,it dosent have to lead anywhere,as she knows a lot of the back alleys surrounding the big house in Holloway,you are assured of an lively evening in her company,and if you are of a like mind at the end of the evening maybe some arresting company...

Tiny 27year old exotic dancer from Peckham her claim to fame is she once dated Del Boy Trotter when he was going through a bad patch with Raquel,she is looking for a similar 'type' so we thought of you,*Tiny*may be small in stature but is large enough to accommodate all ...in her heart...she is not looking for a relationship but a friend ...with benefits...

Let lil know pete after you have had a look and see if there are any there you fancy..lil has the details in her office......which is locked....

Well said.......and innuendo!

Yes, we miss gramps and nellie here at Lil's. We don't want mundane, we want ridiculous!

Hope gramps is ok, he seems to have sloped off.

This isn't real life or has someone changed 'Lil's Bar'?
We were having good ole fantasy fun

Aaaanyway, as Mr P is home a day early, I can't stay, so goodnight all!

(*Pete*, battle/game to be resumed, once you have mastered the art of links!)

It's not pies, it's puddings that are causing the trauma!