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Helping my daughter

(9 Posts)
Pud Thu 18-Oct-12 13:23:41

Please help out there! My daughter has been trying for a baby for the last 4 years and has been having IVF but no luck yet. My problem is that my son has just to.d me the fantastic news that he and his partner are expecting their first baby next May. Please help - how can I support my daughter through this time?

kittylester Thu 18-Oct-12 13:29:59

Oh dear, pud what a dilemma. Really, all you can do is be there for her but try not to make your son feel that you are anything but thrilled, as you must be! Congratulations flowers

annodomini Thu 18-Oct-12 13:32:57

She will hear of it sometime ,*pud*. It will be better coming from you than reaching her on the family grapevine. It's going to be hard for her, but surely she must have thought of the possibility of this happening?

glassortwo Thu 18-Oct-12 13:34:20

pud I have been through the same situation with my DD both her little ones were IVF and they tried for a baby a long time before she managed with IVF, but her brother and cousins all around were having babies left right and center and seemingly with ease while DD and partner were going through hell every month.
I tried just to be there for her when she needed me but as much as she felt heart aching sorrow for her own situation every time one of the others fell pregnant she also tried to feel some of their joy, they all tried to involve her in the new arrival and it must have been heartbreaking for her to try to share their new arrival but luckily the IVF was successful and she has 2 gorgeous children.
So all I can say is be strong for her when she need a shoulder and she will. flowers

Pud Thu 18-Oct-12 14:32:50

Thank you for your message. Can't wait to be a Grandma Nd I know my lovely daughter will get there one day - just wish I could wave a magic wand and make it happen soon. By the way, love your user name, obviously someone after my own heart,,,

Mishap Thu 18-Oct-12 16:04:48

Yes - been there. One daughter struggling to conceive then losing the ones she did conceive, while one of the others was breeding like a rabbit! Luckily they had an excellent relationship, and I was so proud of the DD who had problems when she wholeheartedly congratulated and supported her sister - brave girl. She also threw herself into her auntie role with great gusto. She has now been rewarded with two lovely little boys - but at great cost to her health during her pregnancies.

I hope things work out well for your DD too.

bikergran Thu 18-Oct-12 17:34:09

Pud thats lovely news and a little sad at the same time for your daughter, I have heard it says that when women are struggling to conceive as your DD is ..sometimes the thought of other babies/holding them etc can trigger things in their own body..sounds a bit odd.but it has worked for some..unfortunatley it didnt work for my older DD when younger DD was pregnant, but every one different, we have been there with older DD when she was going through her IVF (without success) . Im sure your DD will be the best Aunty ever smile

Ariadne Thu 18-Oct-12 17:40:56

Oh, I have been there too, with one lovely couple trying desperately; as the other couple announced their second pregnancy, the other ones had suffered yet another miscarriage. The joy and the sorrow combined were so hard to cope with for all concerned.

However, we now have two superb and much loved little adopted grandsons! I cannot tell you how happy we all (the whole family) are now.

glassortwo Thu 18-Oct-12 19:55:44

Ariadne thats lovely flowers