Lost appetite

Oh this is distressing for you guys. When DS was having chemo he managed to keep his healthy appetite. (I know where he gets if from and its not his dad)
But it is a kind of therapy for the carer, to cook isn't it.
The only thing I can add is - lost sense of smell? Most of what we experience as 'taste' is in fact smell. Most people have experienced having a bunged up nose and food just tastes boring and plain. People with a very poor sense of smell have the same effect all the time - which may be why very "tasty" dishes may appeal to them.

Mishap my sister had 5 or 6 of those nutritional drinks prescribed for her, every day for nearly a year, until she died a couple of months ago. That was all she lived on as she could not eat. They would be delivered to the house as there were too many for my BIL to carry. Funding did change from the GP at one point, but she always got her prescribed nutrition, and a dietician/nutritionist (get mixed up which is which) visited her each month to ensure she was maintaining her weight and advise on any alterations to her requirements, based on blood tests.

If it's a cost issue, it may be necessary to contact your MP. This is not the way that the NHS is supposed to work. Is he taking liquids?

Tell the GP. This cannot go on.

Tell GP he must prescribe more!

He has seen GP and PD consultant and a dietician who wanted him to go onto one of these special drinks that have everything in (Ensure). She wrote to the GP to get this prescribed, but GP will only write him up for 10 a month, when he is supposed to have at least one a day. It is on the grounds of cost I believe. The worrying thing is that if he is not properly nourished he will be unable to fight off infection and his weakness will be worse.

He never was a big man, but was always over 9 stone.

I do not know whether to just ignore it and take his plate away as he is groaning as if he is suffering - it is quite hopeless.

Oh dear! Mishap For both your akes, please persuade your husband to visit the GP.

At this moment my OH is sitting in front of his meal moaning and groaning and saying he cannot possibly eat it - what on earth do I do? Just watch him fade away? It is so frustrating - I have cooked at lunchtime as he says he has no appetite in the evening, but today he has no appetite at all and I know not what to do.

He weight 48 kg now - under 8 stone.

You have to stop yourself. I did. It was only for his consumption.
I just watched and drooled!

I take your point jeni - but I would eat it and that would defeat the object (well, at leat one object!)

I used to make icecream with full fat double cream and fresh strawberries. Loads of calories!

All excellent suggestions, thank you - now.......how about the opposite for me - minimum calories in maximum food

When I was in a similar position cooking for someone after chemo to try and get their weght up the local hospice had a useful booklet on how to present the maximum calories in the minimum food-if you have a hospice near by give their dietician a call.

gracesmum I do sympathise and hope the new regime works out.

When my DH wouldn't eat I made fruit smoothies for him, lots of milk, ice cream, strawberries, bananas and any other fruit I had to hand. He would have these at times when he wouldn't eat anything else. He was even having those breakfast bar things - not something I would normally buy but if you check out the ingredients one or two of them have lots of vitimins and minerals, are not very big and were better than nothing.

gracesmum never trivilise any illness that you have to deal with, it is hard going isn't it, yes have tried just about everything,I try to put myself in his position that I wouldn't want facing with food I didn't want, take last night for instance he had 4 sliced of unsliced brown bread with marmalade on and he ws happy with that, so be it, he has porridge most mornings (with lots of sugar) tut! lol but what the heck!
Has you DH tried the fortified milk drinks? I think they also do fruit drinks, my DH has cuppa soups and he does like a perticular veg stew I make, also! have you heard of I thnk it's "METATONE" (available from Asda etc about £4-00)it is a so called tonic and if DH does feel like taking it it gives him an appetite, also my DD says it works, have a google! although may had to check with any medication your DH is taking! first, and it's not bad to take just a small amount in one of the little measures! take care

Oh Bikergran - I feel I have beem moaning about something very trivial compared to what you, Sook and Mishap are going through. Is it your DH's medication that is making him sick (as POGS suggests, if food starts tasting funny, who knows what effect it has) Is it physical or is it psychosomatic? Whatever, it does impact us all and really takes away from the pleasure of cooking or eating. Is there not a savoury version of the high-cal drinks? Nobody wants to live on milkshakes all the time and variety has to be provided somehow.Or could you make a high calorie thick soup? (I am sure you have explored every possibility) . We are conditioned to want to feed and nurture and bottom line is that when that is rejected, we (or at least I) feel rejected too. to you all.

biker

A well thought out comment. I empathise with your point about eating outside the home.

gracesmum and others who are having similiar probs... It is very difficult to as you say " tempt and coax " an older person, and after having tried every thing in the cook books and ready meals etc it is very frustrating especialy when you see them fading and the weight loss, DH had numerous tests/dieticians/diabetes etc but they found nothing,,, he went through a phase of being sick afetr every meal, even it was just soup or something light and ended up very poorly,he has the milk drinks that are high in calories, but after a week or two he gets sick of the sight of them, I like you used to make meals but now jus let him eat what he wants, if he wants porridge for tea and breakfast then so be it,at least he is eating..although for some reason this last week he has wanted "roast dinners"! but no matter how much or little he eats his weight is fading..the nurse used to call every 2 weeksto check his weight, but that has now dwindled, he has lost another 5Ilb over the last 3/4 weeks, and is now down to 6st 3Ilb. it sounds like a few of us have this problem with our men folk, and I got to a point when he was being sick..that I couldn't eat in the house! I used to go out to eat or eat whilst I was in town (my car was my little cafe, I had plastic knife/fork/spoon and wipes)! even little sachets of salt n pepper which I stole from the Asda cafe lol.I find it difficult to enjoy food these days and tend to just gobble my meals and get away from the table. As you say they take a cocktail of drugs and I'm sure, this must spoil their appetite, just try and keep persuading and maybe leave little snacks about.. hope your DH improves

Gracesmum - it sounds as though you are doing really well getting food down OH. Your list of what he eats in a day truly is much much more than my OH eats. So you must be doing something right.

I can identify with the "coaxing to eat up" - memories of motherhood indeed! My children tease me a bit about this when they see me trying to persuade him and serving up childsize portions.

Thank you for empathy and good advice. We mentioned this at the last clinic visit and he has been changed from Ranitidine to Omeprazole to counteract the effect of his assorted meds on his digestion. He starts the day well enough so we have changed his eating pattern. Porridge for breakfast and maybe a couple of eggs, main meal at lunchtime (and I let him decide how much he wants on the plate) and then a light "lunch-type" supper - maybe soup and a roll or he could have a bowl of cornflakes if that is all he wants, and so far it seems to be working. Main thing he is happy and comfortable, but the consultant we saw stressed that he must keep an eye on his weight and if he is losing weight he has to try to increase the calories!! Mishap's point about not ending up the size of a house is close to my heart. In the paast he has always had 2/3 of whatever I have cookec and I have the other 1/3 but I have to scale down how much I cook or I would be on double rations
It's a long time since I have had to coax anyone (e.g. a 2 year-old as opposed to a 65 year-old ) to eat up!!

I do sympathise - OH weighs under 8 stone. He has PD and is on a cocktail of drugs too. I am sure that you are doing all the right things as regards seeing doc etc.

I just wanted to say that I fully understand your frustration in the kitchen and to tell you it is not trivial. Our instinct is to nurture people and the desire to feed him well is understandable. I too know the scenario where you spend ages cooking something nice and when you serve it up he looks at you with this hangdog expression as if to say "Do I really have to eat this?"

I deal with it by giving him small servings - sounds barmy when you want to fatten him up, but he is more likely to have a good go at it if it does not feel too daunting. I also sometimes buy ready meals (I use Wiltshire Farm Foods, who deliver - they do various diets too) so that if it vanishes in the bin, at least it is not a morning's work gone for nothing. I give him whatever he wants even if it is totally unhealthy as we just need to get food - any food! - down his gullet. Today he had a choc ice with a piece of fudge - rubbish food really, but it might put an ounce on here or there maybe.

If, like me, you hate to see food wasted then you could finish up,like the side of a house! - I used to cook normal helpings for both of us and then eat up his leftovers! I decided this was probably not a good idea! - so I now make him a small helping.

I understand how hard it is to have the instinct to feed someone up and to see it all go to waste - it makes cooking a real chore rather than a pleasure.

The list of things my OH does not eat is endless - any soup, vegetables, salad, fruit - I sneak some of these goodies into stews/pies etc sometimes though.

You are allowed to be frustrated by the meal situation whilst at the same time feeling sympathy for his health problems! Carers have needs and feelings too!

Commiserations and chin up from a fellow frustrated cook! How I empathise with the "feeling a pig" for eating a proper meal and also fully understand how it saps your incentive to cook. It is "getting me down too"!!

gracesmum

I have been off line for a while so I have only just caught your thread. Can I say I agree your hubby should not let this lack of appetite go unchecked.

My dad went through a similar occurrance and it turned out to be a bleed in his tummy due to the cocktail of tablets he was on. I admit he did end up bringing up blood which was verY scarey but the solution was so simple. He now takes Lanzoprosol which lines his stomach and he is fine.

One of the reasons he went off his food was due to the fact food simply did not taste right. Even his favourite food tasted off and 'metally' to him but he said nothing until it was well and truly a problem. Ask your hubby if food tastes the same? I am by no means trying to worry you nor state this is the problem just throwing a possible reason into the pot.

I wish you both an answer sooner rather than later.

gracesmum my DH is exactly the same. Like yours he takes a cocktail of drugs, before, during and after food. Some affect his bowels and this makes him reluctant to eat anything which may make the problem worse especially if we are going out.

He always had a really good appetite and was well built without carrying extra weight, these days he is a shadow of his former self. I lose the will to cook as he prefers just to snack usually a sandwich or toast or digestive biscuits, hardly a balanced diet.

He has had every test under the sun and not a week goes by without a visit to a clinic or GP. At the moment his white cell count is low so it's off to the renal clinic tomorrow for another blood test.

You have my sympathy I know exactly how you feel.

Might he be suffering from depression?

My late DH was the same. We found very flavoursome foods the answer. Things like home made mulligatawny soup, rich oxtail stew.
For some reason these went down better than easily digestible delicate meals.
Just a thought. Thinking of you both.