Is it OK to send condolences online?

Thanks for replies. So hard to know what to do in the internet age! I mean facebook IS public, isn't it? And the sister has actually posted this on their wall for all other facebookers to see.

I did once.
I working with the person about 10 years before and I knew he had moved and did not have his address or phone number.
I did have his and his wife's e mail address.
She did respond with the phone number and we have had a few pleasant conversations over the phone since.
She lives about 200 miles from me.

Frank

As the relative has posted on this on Facebook. I don't think a private Facebook message to the relative is at all out of place.

It is immediate and you can pay your respects and happy feelings about the person you knew and at the same time ask the relative if they would mind you sending a card. For good reasons they may not want to give you their address if they dont know you in person, and I think trying to find out or send a message by a forum organiser would be very intrusive.

Bermeir You could send a private message to the sister on facebook, that way it would at least be private. It will still be there in the future for her to see.

Do the funeral details give the name of the funeral director,if so you could send a card c/o them.

Would you be able to ask the forum admin people if they could forward a letter from you perhaps, Bermeir? Failing that, adding your thoughts to the sister's Facebook message may just be all that's needed. .

Bermeir. Can't advise you on the card etiquiette but can I just say that a few years ago I had an online friend that I never met and it broke my heart when he died suddenly; no one really understood because he was just an internet chum. But it left such a gap in my life because he made me laugh so much; he was the brother I never had. He had friends all over the world that mourned his passing..I did go to the funeral and met some of them and we remain friends to this day. So, I'm sorry you've lost your friend .

A card Bermeir for all the reasons posted above.

I can't send a card as I do not have an address; I would otherwise.

I would send a card, Bermeir. A card can be looked at in the future, and when things have settled a bit. It would be nice for the family to be able to see how many lives his own life has touched.

Bermeir A a general rule, I would always send a hand-written letter of condolence. However, given that all aspects of this sad event, apart of course from the death and funeral, are being addressed electronically, I should gave thought sending your condolences online would be quite acceptable. Sad to have lost a good companion, Bermeir.

Speaking as someone recently bereaved, all I can say is that I received many condolence letters from people who had known DH but who were not known at all to me - they all touched and helped me and I remain genuinely grateful for them.

If you have a postal address, I would be inclined to send a card.