First Christmas as head of the family.

I've always felt that it was for others to see an elder family member as the 'Head of the Family' not something one assumed just through a simple case of mathmatics. My father is still alive and yet none of us see him as the head of our family because of his intolerbale behaviour over the years. Perhaps I am odd but just being the oldest suvivor does not automatically make one the most respected member of the family. That accolade/responsibility should be given to the one who everyone (more or less) views as the family member who holds the family together. This might be through sheer hard work (organising all those get to-gethers),being the most knowledable and respected or perhaps just being the one everyone turns to when stuff goes wrong. For us it was our Mum and now that she is no longer around we are all a little rudderless but, of late, my sister and I are sort of 'sharing' the role though it is something that is slowly evolving and far from a formal appointment.

They get it on their loans!

Students can afford to waste bottles of port?

gracesm

I think that when a close relly drops off the cliff there is an uncertain feeling of where am I in relation to the cliff edge and it is always a relief to feel oh half sister is nearer the edge-totally forgetting that the deceased was younger than her. then the feeling wears off and normal life moves back in.

I once knew a good pug. Good but so ugly.

I thought it was some technical term known only to the cognoscenti. Good thing you put me right in time for Christmas! I'd have been savouring the port and commenting on the quality of the pug!!

PUG? I typed PUB

Preferably one with a good pug

Any old port......, eh jeni?

As an aside (don't want to disrupt this thread) I read today that the latest student craze is to buy a bottle of port, stand outside the shop, and pour the whole bottle over your head (it was milk last week!)

Mad! I love port

No! I'll have it. I adooooore port

HUNTERF - you don't like Port? Ooh... I'll have yours!

I have an uncle, who, at 90 is a whole fifteen years older than I am - and I always think of him as the HotF... or sometimes the Senior Man in the Billet, something ex-service people may remember.

Hi Gracemum

I do not think your last thread applies to me now.
All the lounge chairs are of an equal standard in mine and both my daughters house. I normally do something to help even if it is not the washing up. Neither my late father or myself like port and I am not really a good joke or story teller.
A lot of people are surprised when they find out I am a grandad as I still go to several keep fit classes and I have not joined any 50+ classes yet.
Normally if a bottle of wine is open I tend to have some of that to avoid opening more or if there are 2 I tend to go for the one which the least people want as I am very indifferent to most types of wine.

Frank

I bought a stereogram (remember them?) from Rumbelows in Neston. I wanted to have it on 'tick', i.e. monthly repayments and they said I would need my husband's permission. I was Head of the Remedial Service and earning more than my husband. I wrote to their head office telling them to drag themselves into the 20th century and got back a grovelling apology. I also got my stereogram, with my husband's permission.
It was quite common in the 1950's for wives to tell canvassers that they did not know how they were going to vote, as their husband had not yet decided.

greatnan that reminds me of when I went into the Audi Garage (you will know the one at 2Mills) I had decided what I was ordering and the salesman conducted the conversation to mr.glamma I waited until the chap asked for mr.gs signiture and told the salesman he couldn't sign the order as it was my car,how his attitude changed was priceless.

If wish I could be confident that both my children will outlive me but in the case of one of them I am not.
This thread reminds me of when salesmen use to ask for The Head of the House. They got short shrift from me.

HunterF you sound as if you are feeling your age -64 is nothing! If being Head of the Family counts for anything it should be 1) the comfiest armchair 2) being let off the washing up 3) a glass or two of port at regular intervals and 4) uninterrupted rapt attention to all your oldest jokes and most repeated stories.
Enjoy it!

Head of the family? I suppose I have seniority by age in my immediate family, though I have older cousins on either side of the family, but I brought up my sons to be my equals and have no problem in treating them as such.

Reading this thread has just made me realise that I am the head of the family with regard to my side, it certainly does not cause me any anxious feeling as regard to my mortality in fact I quite like to feel that at long last I have reached the top of the tree.

Hunter I can understand how you are feeling. My mum died ten years ago and my dad died this year.
I'm 66 and an only child, and I was very conscious of being next!
I am the oldest one left, and I felt that I was next in line to die!

Then I came to my senses and just got on with living and enjoying the rest of my life!
Go for it!

Hi again Granny23 and FlicketyB

My father was OK in the mind. His problems were more physical for the last 2 years of his life.
He helped with the garden until months before his death.
I think my daughters regarded him as the head of the family because of this. If he got dementia the situation would have been different.
Dad's biggest dread was having to go into care but this never happened.
He did visit several friends in various care homes and sometimes he asked me to call into a pub on the way home to recover his sanity.
This did in some way surprise me as Dad did not normally go into pubs.
He was more a fan of coffee shops.
He liked about 2 bottles of wine a week at home at about 9.30 in the evening when he was not going out driving.
He did not drive for the last 4 years of his life because of his sight but old habbits die hard.His sight only just about met the road traffic acts with glasses.
He kept his driving licence till he passed away.

Frank

I think this is only worrying when the title is bestowed on some unfortunate young man - e,g, my DH when his father died, when DH was 17.
So brace up Hunter this is patriarchal / Victorian nonsense isn't it, calling someone head of the family. Adult family members take responsibilities in a wide variety of ways according to their abilities, health and resources.Not age.

Hi Granny23

As far as we are aware I am not a blood relative to anybody older.
I am an only child.
Their other grandparents are 2 weeks younger than me. They were born the same day. Their grandmother was however born in the morning and their grandfather was born in the evening so their grandmother is probably deputy head of the family.

There are some uncles on that side of the family who are all younger.
I agree uncle was not really my correct title but for some reason my granddaughters decided to call me that as they did not like calling my father great grandad.

Frank