If any of you have successfully given up worrying...

I have come late to this post.
I am another dreadful worrier. I do far too much "whatifing". There is a big difference between this and carefully thinking out a solution to a current problems.

My worst time for "whatifing" is 4 to 6am. I sort of think that if I dont "worry" about things, what ever it is might turn out even worse.
If you expect the worst then you will not be shocked or dissapointed and things might just turn out better than expected. I am very perverse!

I like the serenity "prayer" Its basic reasoning is sensible and its good to remember. I also think meditation can help. If you can start controlling the mind away from pointless worrying to calming thoughts it stops the cycle of negativity. It needs practice but its useful.
Peace to all us worrriers.

I usually put on some classical music and REALLY listen to it. It works for me. A friend of mine used to say if money will put it right ,it's not worth worrying about. I never did get to ask her what happens if you don't have the money!

I'll try that, Mey - but as you're no longer a worrier I'm not sure it would work as well for me!

What do you think about when you first get up in the morning Grossi

Ana when that happens to me I count backwards from 100, it works 9 times out of ten for me.

glad to hear it Ana, that is just how it took me when I was very ill with it, couple times in my life I prefer to forget!!

Agree would be more helpful if we could tell difference easily with what we can`t change

It's not first thing in the morning for me - that's taken care of with having to get up to go to work most days. It's those middle-of-the-night waking and not sleeping hours...

Thank you all, worriers and non-worriers alike. I have read all your posts with interest.

I'd still like to know what non-worriers think about. For example, what do you think when you first get up in the morning?

I've always been a worrier, and think I got it from my mother. As a child I used to hear her say what a worrier she was and how it affected her stomach. She used to marvel at my father who didn't worry about anything - and why would he need to because she did it all for him!
When I wake up I start to feel anxious - but then, after a short while things fall into place and unless there really is something going on to cause a problem, I find myself relaxing again. I find that going out for a long walk really does help if things get too bad.

Thank you Mey. Unfortunately faith doesn't do it for me any more. It did once upon a time and I wish I could have it back - it was reassuring! Glad it works for you.

Well, I'm not depressed at all, celebgran, thank goodness, and when I'm worrying I don't actually feel as though I'm going to throw up, rather that if I ate I might!

I agree that the serenity prayer is fine in principle, but it's not so easy to believe that you will ever have the wisdom to know the difference.

Worry dolls – small wooden creatures from south America, I think but I could easily be wrong. You tell each one a worry and it becomes their problem. As the doll is wooden, you can pour out your heart and anger without anyone else knowing what you are saying.

If the worries happen in the middle of the night and keep you awake, then concentrate on something completely different. I find picturing HM the Queen trooping the colour on a pogo stick works quite well. There was also one night when I planned 300 different packed lunches for children somewhere between 3 and 5 in the morning.

that serenity prayer well if only I could accept the thing I can`t change ie get my daughter back, trouble is I try to hope so can`t really accept it, gosh thats sounds muddled!!

I have always worried, I used to worry about the most stupid things, think am bit betternow!!

only time i felt sick and could not eat was when I was clinically depressed andgthat is not a feeling I would wish on anyone.

Frank most people"s income does drop when they retire so you are not alone .

Suppose it is a case of cutting your cloth according to your material .

Mey --15.12
That is me now , I concur with everything you say .

I just DO NOT worry any more , and you know what it is great !

If you dont believe as I do, Distraction is a very good way to stop yourself from worrying.

wisewomen as you have asked...I did not want to say...

I went to The Salvation Army Shop recently and found a few leaflets that broke down Bible verses in a way that can be easily understood.

One of the leaflets was about worrying--After reading it it did actually work because it was a verse from the Bible and I strongly believe in God I took it as Gospel

Getting to 50 removed some of my worries as I knew I would qualify for an immediate pension if I was made redundant.
Redundancy did happen but I took my pension to Birmingham and joined my father in his house as my mothers half had been left to me.
It was a bit heartbraking to have to sell the family home in London but my daughters had settled in the Midlands and they wanted me near them.
Oddly enough they were born in London but as my late wife and myself were from the Midlands I don't think they regarded themselves as being Londoners.
Going back to my pension I now have less income than when I was at work but I know where I am and I know it can not be stopped.
I did get a job which lasted 5 years with Birmingham City Council but I have been made redundant from that job and got another small pension.
I have now inherited my fathers half of the house and I know I am in a comfortable position for life.
Yes it was slightly worrying when an ex lady friend of my father came along demanding the house when my father passed away and about 20 people supported her.
I knew I was legally right and she has no chance of getting the house but it was a slight worry as they might have said she was still with my father immediately prior to his death and had been with him for over 2 years which may have given her some rights to the estate but I had about the same number of people in my street who knew they had split up some time before.
I was however pleased when the house had been fully in my name for 6 months and she had taken no legal action. Even if she had a case it is unlikely it would have been allowed into court after that time.
Her friends are no longer coming up to me saying I had stolen her house.
I think they have now realised she would not get anywhere.

Frank

When my mother was ill I worried myself sick and could not sleep etc - she had breast cancer and was very bad after the radiotherapy - think now it is not quite so aggressive. Then one day I suddenly realised that there was not a thing I could do about all of this so had to go with the flow and support her and my father as best I could. It was a huge relief and I have never worried so much about anything since.
I do have to have plans A B C and D in place and of course still do worry especially when DS, DD or DGC have something important and try to think of helpful things to say if events do not work out as they hope, but feel I now cope better. The sick feeling and not being able to eat because of the worry is awful and not good for us and does no good really. We need all our reserves when we are worried so I do try - not always successfully - to think positive thoughts!
My mother did in fact live another twenty years after the cancer which surprised the medics, as she was not expected to survive the op at the time, so I always considered those years were a bonus I was very lucky to have and I treasured her.

Mey tell us how you did it! It should be as easy as saying I won't do it any more but unfortunately that doesn't seem to work.

I agree in principle with the serenity prayer but in practice it is not that easy. I don't worry about anything I can do something about but there is so much I can't control and those are the things I worry about.

I find it really annoying when someone says "Don't worry about it", how can you control what you worry about? It is was that easy no one would worry about anything. Why don't they offer to help with whatever it is if they think there is no need to worry?

Would life be any better if there was nothing to worry about?

I suppose it depends what you are worrying about. If it is something over which you have a level of control then do something about it. If I find myself fretting about things I make lists. Those things which I can do something about get ticked off the list, anything else gets written down then shredded. Sleepless nights are occasionally made worse by worrying about work issues, I put those thoughts in an email to myself at work to be dealt with the following day.

Lists make me feel more in control.

Take action. Sometimes this means getting angry rather than worried. Do something that will make a difference. If you can't make a difference, chuck that and find something that you can make a difference to.

A flippant-sounding answer, but I find that approach does help a great deal. It doesn't mean I never worry, but I think it helps me focus and means I don't worry needlessly.

[Confused] I'd worry about that?

Hello Grossi funny you should ask as I have recently learn't NOT to worry

Basically It DOES NOT HELP and I have finally after many many years of being a full time worrier HAVE RELEASED MYSELF from it and do you know what IT FEELS GREAT.

Daisy I'm the same! I keep thinking there must be something I should be worrying about.
Perhaps that's why I'm prematurely white haired! I'm not old enough. I'm only 68 I'm really a teenager!