Butty what a wise response. There isn't a magic bullet and it is all those things you mention. I remember when my mother was dying and my sister was looking after her, and she had been in a miserable marriage for a long time, she phoned me and said "I'm leaving him". I said "why now?" And she said "I can't do both". And that was it, she chose looking after my mum over coping with her marriage.
My son, who has given us the hardest time over the past 18 months, it is suddenly as if the mists have cleared and he has stepped out into the sunshine. In his case, I think it is the 'love of a good woman' for which I am grateful beyond words.
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