Who's got adult sons or daughters still at home

I think it's a great arrangement as long as all parties are happy - our son and his partner and their baby lived with us for a year and we enjoyed it. It's sad though if it isn't really what people want but they have no choice because of the cost of renting/buying - especially if they can't see any prospect of being able to leave.

I have my 40 year old son living with me, along with his wife and their two children, and now his 16 year old daughter from his previous marriage.
DS and his wife moved in with us nearly 10 years ago when they had one toddler and a baby on the way.They were having problems with a rogue landlord and cannot afford their own house.
I cant see anything changing in the near future.DS is now unemployed, his wife works three days a week.She does not seem to want her own place.
People think I am mad, but they keep me and DH young.

I wouldn't have thought that there would be any problem if she's as bad as you say, seriously!

I don`t know Marelli. She doesn`t say much at all, even less these days, since she got involved with a game she plays online, she`s on her laptop for 12 to 15 hours a day, just stops to eat and sleep! Having a conversation is difficult to say the least, she acts like it`s a great imposition to have to stop for a few seconds to answer anyone who speaks to her. Oh well, like father, like daughter!

It's a difficult one, number, and it's perfectly understandable that she doesn't want involvement (or what she sees as interference) from family. As she does a lot of stuff on her computer, do you think she's been able to check out services that might be available to her, should she need them? If so, she could just be keeping this information to herself and not sticking her head in the sand as you might fear?

Everyone who has replied to me about my daughter, I`ve occasionally broached the subject of what will happen when we`re no longer here, but she just says that she`ll sort it out when the time comes. She really doesn`t like anyone getting involved in her affairs, even her own brothers and sisters, gets quite stroppy about it sometimes, which is another reason why she`s stressing out about this ATOS work assessment interview that she has coming up next week. Put it this way, if I go first, she`ll struggle, because her dad`s neither use nor ornament around the house, does bugger all in fact.

Our eldest son is 39 and lives at home with us.I love it as he is company for me when DH is away from home and he is a great help when the grandchildren come to stay.But ,best of all, he sorts the computer out for me when I get into difficulties which is far too frequently !!

number, have you asked your DD what she would like to do in the future? Have you been able to broach the subject with her about how she might cope when the time arrives when you're no longer there - or become unable to give her the assistance she needs because of (possibly) your own care needs?

numberplease on the same topic as tanith DDs friend has just completed a care package for her 47yr old brother who was injured when he was 12yrs old when he fell out of a tree,he has major mobility problems but he lives in supported bungalow with a good team of people who are with him 24hrs but they are not intrusive to his lifestyle,he goes to a work centre 3 times a week and has a large circle of friends,it gives DDs friend complete peace of mind as she has 4 children of her own and cannot have her brother live with her on a permanent basis there is help and information out there but it is just finding the right package and getting the right funding.

We have 22 yr old son who's never left home. We hardly see him though as he has large bed sitting room. I do his washing and sometimes cook for him though
DH's cousin never left home. He's 68 now and still lives in the house his parents rented.

numberplease I don't wish to poke my nose in just wanted to say that my sister has a disabled son early 40's and she has the same concerns and has now decided to try her best to encourage him to apply for disabled housing (even though he may have to wait a while) and try to get him with a support network around him so that he feels less reliant on her and more confident that he can manage with support. She hopes it will give them both peace of mind for the future years.

Our eldest child, a daughter aged 49, is still here with us, and always will be, as she suffers badly from rheumatoid arthritis, and couldn`t manage to live on her own. What will happen when we`re no longer here I just don`t know.

DS1 lived at home only until he was 21, and came back when he and his girlfriend stopped working abroad and decided to find work back here. He has said that his time living at home and working as a chef was like living with a nice housemate. And what better compliment could I have had. Mind you I doubt if even the nicest housemate would have ironed his chef's whites.

Our son lived with us into his early 30's but quite honestly we were all glad when he was able to move out to a rented room with a friend , I love having the house to ourselves . Happily he now lives abroad expecting his first child and I couldn't be happier for him. He would never of afforded to buy anywhere here in London so would still be living in rented digs if he hadn't had this opportunity.

overthehill can your son not find a friend/friends to rent with? thats the only way our son found to enable him to get a life away from us. I do mean that in the nicest way, we love him but we didn't love living with him if I'm honest.

If it works, why worry about it. I think I'd probably get on fine with any of mine, if they needed to live with me. I don't think it would work so well as far as DH is concerned though. He's quite jealous of his own space.

Our 40year old daughter lives with us. In theory she lives in what was the loft but she spends quite a bit of time with us. We all get on very well. I think she keeps us younger in outlook and we are certainly more up to date on music, technology, what to watch on TV.
We live in London and she can't afford a flat on her own much as she would love one.
She and I are very good friends and go out together and also travel together at least once a year.
For her part, she is very caring and brings a lot to the extended family. I am pleased we can help her and that she hasn't had to live in a pokey rented room or flat on her own.
It seems a strange arrangement to some of our friends but it works for us.

I supose my father had me at home when I was 62.
My mother and wife passed away and I returned to Birmingham to join my daughters.
My house in London was sold, Dad and myself agreed that it was best we lived in the same house as I inherited Mum's half.

Frank

Couldn't be doing with that, I think I would be bunging him a few bob to do one