Would you be upset if...

Well thank you for your support. It gets worse. Yesterday was our wedding anniversary and not one word has passed between us since he left. It was of course possible for me to contact him but I decided that since he'd utterly spoiled my enjoyment of my Mothers Day greetings, I was not going to help him get out of the hole he had dug. Since I emigrated, my participation in Mothers Day love-ins with my sons has always been limited by the distance, so my cards/gifts are doubly appreciated you see. (The irony is that last year I went to see them for Mothers Day and what do you know - I learned of my daughter-in-law's plans for divorce that very weekend!)
I don't exclude him from my relationship with my sons, quite the opposite - I make sure that he is fully au fait with everything to do with them and he enjoys their company, but he generally excludes me from the rather secretive one he has with his daughter. His son makes no contact with him.
So now that our wedding anniversary is over without a word or gesture from him, no I doubt very much whether he will get in touch. He's 69 years old going on 7.
If it wasn't for the fact that I have a young kitten, I would not be here when he gets back..but I'm not going to make her suffer by playing tit for tat.

Specki you have every right to be angry with your OH,I think he is jealous maybe of the relationship (be it long distance) with your children and felt he was not the topic of everyone's attention on the day. Will he keep in touch during the week away or will he sulk and carry the bad feeling on when he comes home ?

Well said Moved.

I think you are entitled to be angry Specki and should let him know but you must decide whether to keep trying with him or to give up - only you can know that.

Of course you should be angry but perhaps you could try to find out why he feels like this. Maybe he can't express what the real problem is.

Is he an only child? Does he have children of his own? When we first married DH did have a bit of a problem with anyone I knew before him and it took me a while to bring him round to see that they were not a threat to him or us as a couple. He is an only child so sharing me was a bnit difficult at first. Perhaps your DH feels excluded in some way.

Relationships can be difficult but the most rewarding ones are the ones we work at and improve. I don't think anyone on GN would say that their marriage/relationship has been easy all the way, ours hasn't but it is pretty near perfect now. I am sure I have accommodated his views and he has accommodated mine and we have both worked hard over the years to sort out our differences.

Absolutely furious would be nearer the mark, but the leaving for a week and not saying goodbye would finish me off I think.

He would have to come back on his knees ( metaphorically) on your behalf.

for you [specki]

To be jealous of your children is very childish, as is storming out and not saying goodbye.
I would be extremely upset and angry, and if this behaviour happens often/regularly, I would be making plans to put a stop to it.

My second husband couldn't deal with my relationship with my (very loving) children.....he lasted 18 months!

I would also go and get some counselling about how to deal with such behaviour, or prevent it from happening again by making it clear to him that it was totally unacceptable. Good luck . Don't let it get you down .

I'd be upset and I'd also be very, very, very angry, and boy would he know it! Leave the house? he'd be metaphorically kicked out first!!!

specki dont let it get to you, you are in control of your own life.

It sounds like it could be decision time, do you want to continue living with this person or have you had enough.

Maybe there is a problem somewere and he has not got the guts to talk to you about it, what ever it might be.

Sometimes its just a phase that a man goes through and sometimes its in their nature to be horrid either way please remember you are in control

Specki because you say 'habit' that makes it seem as if it has happened before. I'd be more upset than angry, or maybe both, but (and apologies for this because perhaps he has other good qualities) he sounds like a real jerk.

Leave the house in a strop when he is going away for a week without saying goodbye? Now that would make me really

Upset wouldn't come near it, I'd be spitting furious!

Happy Nellie ? i was delighted! Yes it shouldn't matter but when I remonstrated with him for taking the shine off my day - he left the house in a strop. It just so happened he was going away for a week anyway but he never even said goodbye. And this after all my worries of the past year. Its all getting to be too much for me to cope with.

Why does he criticise specki, is he jelious of them, is he naturally moany or does he do it to upset you?

You're not his mother, specki, you're THEIR mother. So long as you're delighted that's all that matters. Sounds like jealousy.

Sounds as though he's lacking in self-esteem and can't help himself from trying to dismiss your children's obvious love for you, specki.

Not acceptable! Were you happy with how they treated you?

Jealous - yes possibly, but threatened - no, they live 1500 miles away from us. They love me and they express it - what's threatening in that?

I must be tired, should be very upset!

I would be vetyupset.

Great minds gracesmum

Yes, very much so. Is he feeling threatened in some way specki?

I certainly would and would tell him so. It is the thought that counts and if love is expressed that is what matters. Is he jealous?

Yes. I would be upset actually, if DH had any nasty habits. Luckily he hasn't'. Loads of annoying ones, but none nasty as such.